wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

 

Last week, President 47 said he would decide whether to attack Eye-Ran within two weeks with a view to dropping bigly-bunker-bonker-busting-bombs to take out that country’s nuclear capability. And 48 hours later, the said bigly-bunker-bonker-busting-bombs were duly dropped on three facilities and hours later, 47, his face an even more ridulous shade of orange, like dark marmalade, was claiming that Eye-Ran’s nuclear capability  was completely obliterated. As in gone for decades. This was on top of Israel having pounded Eye-Ran for the previous fortnight, including taking out most of its nuclear scientists and anyone else who had the misfortune of living nearby. As they do. By Monday, 47 announced on Truth Social, his personal Pravda, and about as accurate, that Israel and Eye-Ran had declared a ceasefire. Hours late, both sides seemed to break it, leaving a furious 47 to denounce both of them and to vent, live on TV, that ‘they had no idea what the fuck they were doing’. Which translates as ‘they are fucking up my chance of the Nobel Peace Prize’, although why you would give a Peace Prize to someone who had just bombed another country with bigly-bunker-bonker-busting-bombs remains unclear, at least to WTF. Anyway, both Israel and Eye-Ran then stopped bombing each other and the peace seems to have held since then. 

On Wednesday, before a NATO meeting in The Hague, the New York Times, CNN and MSNBC – which 47 regards as radical lunatic Marxists and the  Devil Incarnate – published a leaked report from the Pentagon which cast doubt, on a preliminary basis, on whether the bigly-bunker-bonker-busting-bombs had indeed obliterated Eye-Ran’s nuclear capability or whether, given how much 47 had shot his mouth off, the Eye-Ranians had moved their enriched uranium elsewhere. There were photos of lines of trucks leaving one of the sites on the same day that 47 had said he might atack within two weeks or he might not, and so, for all we know, it might now be stored in a cupboard at the Ministry of Sport or under the Supreme Leader’s bed at wherever he is hiding out. 47 of course was more incandescent than the bigly-bunker-bonker-busting-bombs. CNN, The New York Times and MSNBC were scum. They were sick.  They hated 47 (that bit is probably true) and were desperate to lie about his triumphs (that bit is not so true).  The editors and journalists should be tarred and feathered, disembowelled and boiled in oil (that bit is made up, but he would if he could).  And ever since then, it has been war not on Eye-Ran but on the journalists who reported the existence of a report which everybody agrees said what they reported it as having said on a preliminary basis. On Thursday, Pete Hegseth, the alcohol-challenged Secretary of Defence and a former Fox News weekend host, held a press conference which rivalled his boss in utter madness.  Piss-Artist Pete yelled at the press corps for not extolling the wonderfulness of the attack and for failing to praise 47 to the skies. This of course misses the point. The point is not whether the attack was carried out accurately and with technical aplomb. The point was (a) whether it had obliterated Eye-Ran’s nuclear capability or whether it had not and (b) there is the small matter of the First Amendment and the right to freedom of speech, including a free press and (c) the US is not – quite yet – North Korea and it is not obligatory to kiss the Presidental Fundament. But it was yet another step towards it. Freedom of speech, incuding the right to protest and to publish, is under growing threat of being obliterated by 47’s bigly-bunker-bonker-busting-bombs dropped by his legion of sycophantic, under-qualified, over-excited, craven lackeys. 

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And so to the main business of today. I refer of course to the fabled WTF Summer Stinker Poll where 20 celebrities, actual and wannabe,  are competing for the coveted title of Summer Stinker 2o25. WTF can confidently assert that every one of these particular nominees is more than worthy of nomination with a  guaranteed and disturbing effect on your innards. Remember that they are arranged in first name alphabetical order, denoting no preference whatsoever on WTF’s part. So now it is over to you, dear Readers. All you have to do is to peruse this shocking collection of shite and decide which one of them, or more than one of them, is worthy of top place on the podium. Do not worry about that Single Transferable Vote nonsense.  Just make your picks, as many as you like, tick the circles by the name or names and come back and vote again as often as you like. Voting closes at midnight BST on Thursday 3 July 2025 and the results will be announced on Friday, 4 July.

Ready? You won’t be…..

Here we go….

1.  Ashley Longmore, American artist.

Ashley atended the Tony Awards dressed as a grey barrage balloon with black popsox and a platform slingback version of the sort of footwear worn by those silk-clad, shagging gentlemen in Bridgerton.

 

2. Bianca Censori, Australian bitsflasher and Mrs Kanye West.

Bianca’s nips are not new, because we have all seen them. And her arse-cheeks. And her minge. But the combination of nip-slip Skims and polar-bear legs was defintely new. And deplorable. Alert the World Wildlife Fund!!!!

 

3. Dascha Polanco, American actor.

Dascha is a serial offender who always manages to get it wrong, but this getup hit a new low. The Gimp mask. The torn thing she was almost wearing, exposing a black thong and her belly button. The silly little bag. Just. Go. Away.

 

4. Doja Cat, American rapper.

Using your hyper-inflated tits as a hanger was a new one to WTF…..

 

5.  FKA Twigs, British singer.

It is ugly, it is ill-fitting and it is thrush-inducing. Twigs looked like a permabulating sofa which had been heavily discounted in the DFS Sale.

 

6.  Halle Berry, American actor.

Halle graced the Met Gala with a veritable vulvarama.

 

7. Harry Styles, British singer.

One question. Why?

 

8. Janelle Monae, American actor.

Janelle started off the Met Gala in a splendid trompe d’oeil Thom Browne coat, then removed the coat during the evening to reveal a trompe d’oeil trouser suit and ended up at the after-party in a mini-dress with their tits out and crown nipple-pasties. One can only hope that they called it a night after the after-party as there was little else left to remove.

 

9. Jennifer Lopez, American actor and singer.

Cleavage at the front and more cleavage at the back. Arse cleavage. WTF does not even want to think what happened when she sat down.

 

10. Jeremy Scott, American designer. 

 

Prat.

 

11. Julia Fox, American actor and bitsflasher.

Lady Godiva with trailing pubes. Can someone get an injunction to stop Kanye West going out with women? First Kim Kardashian. Then Julia. Then Bianca. And they all end up nearly naked…..

12. Kehlani, American rapper.

The tattoos are horrible as was the alleged dress, which made her look like a lady mud wrestler.

 

13. Lisa Rinna, American actor.

If you did not have a fear of clowns before you saw Lisa at the Viktor & Rolf show at Paris Fashion Week,  then you certainly did after you saw her. 

 

14. Marval-A-Rex, Catalan-American transmasculine actor and creative director.

As WTF remarked at the time, the whole thing was very porno-plumber.

 

15.Megan Thee Stallion, American rapper.

The riding cape was fine, but it needed something else, to whit a dress or skirt under it. As a matter of interest, how does Megan pull up her panties with those nails while avoiding lethal vaginal damage?

16. Sabrina Wu, American comedian.

 

Yurgle! Bloomers are not trousers. Not even at all. WHAT HAPPENED TO HER TROUSERS?

 

17. Shaboozey, American singer and rapper.

Mr Toad in check chaps.

 

18. Shawn Everett, Canadian music producer and a distinguished former winner of this competition in 2016.

 

Like a kinky Cardinal in veternarian gloves and bovver boots. And the hair!!!!!

 

19. Teddy Swims, American singer-songwriter.

Teddy turned up to the Brits wearing his kiddies’ toy cupboard. 

 

20. Victoria Monet, American singer.

 Superwoman goes to space. What a shame that she did not stay there…..

 

OK Readers, over to you. Vote early! Vote often! WTF will be back with the results in the next blog on 4 July 2025.  Be good x