Forty years ago, Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands. Acknowledging the failure to prevent this debacle, Lord Carrington, the Foreign Secretary, promptly resigned and John Nott, the Defence Secretary, proffered his resignation but Mrs Thatcher refused to accept it. The days when people behaved with honour have long gone. This week saw a number of shameless people spit on the concept of honour and wave two fingers at the public. Any of them could have been the subject of this week’s rant but that would mean leaving someone out. So here we go – WTF’s Roll of Shame March 2022.
1. The Chief Executives, medical staff and midwives at the Shrewsbury & Telford NHS Trust for years of gross negligence resulting in the death of hundreds of babies and some of the mothers who bore them. Faced with allegations of ineptitude, doctors hung up on bereaved parents, midwives blamed mothers for being too fat or for not complaining loudly enough (not that they would have listened), medical records were altered and internal reports were ignored. Despite this, instead of donning sackcloth and sitting in ashes like the King of Nineveh and his people, the previous CEOs in charge over that period have all gone on to bigger and better things, earning a fortune and looking forward to their big, fat, gold-plated pensions. Resignations? Don’t be silly.
2. Boris Johnson. For not answering a single bloody question at what is laughably called Prime Minister’s Question Time. For refusing even to admit any criminality during the Downing Street parties-that-weren’t-parties-but-work-gatherings after 20 Enforcement Notices were issued by the Met. For lying repeatedly to the House of Commons. Last week he told the House the Government would take action against P&O for breaking the law when sacking 500 people to replace them with something cheaper. This week Transport Secretary Grant Shapps said the Government had no power to do so. Resignations? Don’t be silly.
3. Every Tory MP who attended a slap-up dinner at the Park Plaza Hotel on Tuesday on the day the aforesaid #Partygate notices were issued and on the first anniversary of the nearby Covid Wall commemorating the 165,213 souls who died of it. The MPs walked past a demonstration by some bereaved families without so much as an acknowledgement, anxious to wrap their faces round champagne, salmon tart, chicken thighs and chocolate praline and, as mop-haired muppet Michael Fabricant MP put it, ‘having some fun’. Who cares if there are people out there who cannot turn on their central heating or light the stove to boil an egg as energy prices soar by up to 100%? Let them eat canapés. Resignations? Don’t be silly.
4. Chancellor Rishi Sunak, who is busily telling UK companies to sever all links with Russia while his wife, daughter of a billionaire, holds $900 MILLION in shares in her daddy’s company Infosys, which continues to operate in Russia despite other Big Tech companies pulling out. When challenged on this, Rishi bristled, stamped his little £300 grey leather trainers and said his wife is not elected. No she isn’t, but he is. Presumably, unless things have gone tits up chez Sunak, he enjoys some of the benefit of her wealth. Resignation? Don’t be silly.
5. And talking of wives, Will Smith, who laughed uproariously at Chris Rock’s stupid joke about Jana Pinkett-Smith’s crewcut until he caught a glimpse of his missus’s expression, realised he was in deep matrimonial doo-doo and leapt up onto the stage to lamp Rock before shouting and swearing at him. In the customary lachrymose speech after he won the Oscar an hour later (for Best Actor, not Best Lamper) Smith apologised to everyone except the person he assaulted. And, it emerged on Thursday, he refused to leave the building after the assault, despite being told to. As for the Academy, what did they think Rock was going to talk about? Daffodils? And as for those who stood and cheered Smith to the rooftop when he won Best Actor….. The bar for next year has been set high. Anything less than someone being eviscerated live on stage will be a real letdown. Resignations? Don’t be silly.
We begin our review of the Oscars sartorial shit-pile with actor Kristen Stewart, wearing Chanel.
There is dressing down. And there is looking like a chorus girl in a 1940s musical. Any minute now and she will burst into song and do a tap dance. Meanwhile, her hair looks like a Pomeranian died on her head.
Actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, aka Jaime from Game of Thrones, wearing Dolce & Gabbana.
Is he moonlighting on The Love Boat? And the fit of those trewsies is just terribly, terribly terrible.
Model Elsa Hosk wearing Mônot at the Vanity Fair Party.
Of course she has an amazing body, but that is not so much a tit window as a French window with a breast flattener.
Singer Joe Jonas, wearing Louis Vuitton.
Good grief. He looks like he is being electrocuted. Throw a blanket over him!
Makeup artiste Jane Vernon, wearing something frightful and fluffy with leather leggings.
If Ozzie Osbourne had sex with a Norwegian Forest Cat, this is what their progeny would look like…….
Actor Timothée Chalamet wearing Louis Vuitton.
At least Joe Jonas was wearing a shirt with his LV suit. Prat. Next!
Singer and actor Janelle Monáe, wearing Christian Siriano.
Yurgle. She seems to be trapped in a backgammon board while giving us flashes of under-boob and putting us in fear of an imminent Minge Moment.
Colombian actor Sebastián Yatra wearing custom Moschino.
Moschino nicked the design for this suit from the Security Staff at the Bank of England, adding a pair of toning Co-Respondent shoes just in case there was not enough pink….
Actor Tracee Ellis Ross, wearing Caroline Herrera.
Aficionado Michelle tweeted to ask WTF, ‘Did you see Tracee Ellis Ross’s red dress? For a woman with style, I dread to think who told her wearing that did her any favours #toomuchtit’. Michelle, WTF did see it and her eyes bulged out of her head as much as yours did. It is not so much a case of #toomuchtit but #toolittlebodice as those mice ears were clearly not up to the job. And for that matter, #toosmallaroundthehips.
Actor Wesley Snipes, wearing Bogard by MikeB.
If a red cabbage went to a fancy dress party wearing a penis pelmet, this is what it would look like.
MINGE!!!!!!!!! Put some knickers on, girls. Chloe seems to have come from the beach while Halle’s dress appears to have split along the seam. And those purple sandals are beyond hideous.
Finally, we have actor and Instagram person RickeyThompson wearing GCDS.
For some reason, Rickey has chosen to attend the event dressed as a display stand from well-known tat retailer, Claire’s Accessories. As for the trousers, Rickey needed to take a size up – at least…….
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Sal who brought this monstrosity to our attention – it’s the new Balenciaga Men’s Collection.
Sal observes that ‘This year’s fashion look for menswear appears to be, “my mum says I’ll grow into it”.’ She is right. Men’s clothes are getting sillier and sillier. It’s Got to Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as they keep WTF happy and you don’t want her to be unhappy, do you? Of course you don’t. And do not neglect your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x