WTF SUMMER STINKER 2014 POLL SPECIAL

Hallo Readers,

It is that time of the year when you, dear Readers, get to choose which one of the following fashion atrocities will have the dubious honour of being accorded the title of the Summer Stinker 2014. You can check out the 2013 Summer Stinker here. What follows are 20 perfectly horrible pictures, some of which might cause you to run screaming into the street or to seek the assistance of healthcare professionals. WTF’s selection is set out in chronological order and no preference on her part is intended simply because someone is numbered 1, 10 or 20.

All you have to do is to is to vote for as many of the candidates as you choose and to do so before 11 59 GMT on Thursday 26 June 2014. Vote early and vote often and make sure all your friends and relations do the same.  The winner will be announced in the blog on 27 June 2014.

Ready? Here we go….

1. Paula Patton, actress, wearing Mireille Dagher.

imagePaula wore this is to a pre-Grammys party. Whilst everything about it is ghastly (including some very dodgy armpits) the worst part is the way that it makes her breasts look flatter than a couple of Scotch pancakes.

2. Lady Victoria Hervey, Pointless Celebrity, wearing Gaurav Gupta.  

image

One of the Minge Moments of the year. She looks as if she had rolled in tar in a pair of footless tights. Lady Victoria is the sort of person who makes you think warmly of the French  Revolution.

3. Pharrell Williams, Singer, wearing Lanvin (accompanied by his wife Helen Lasichanh who looks fine).

image

From the knees up, Pharrell looks great. It is just that we should not be able to see his knees. Or for that matter, his calves or his ankles. He looks like a boy scout in a tuxedo.

4. Liza Minnelli, Proper Film Star, wearing Halston Heritage.

image

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to wear a bra. In Liza’s case, that was around 1990. Questions also have to be asked about the blue smurf coiffeure.

5. Jessica White, Model, wearing Nicholas Jebran.

22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Oscar Viewing Party - Arrivals

This would have been fine had she been appearing in pantomime in Preston. The problem is that she wasn’t. She was at Elton John’s Oscars Party.

6.  Paris Hilton, Pointless Celebrity, wearing Haus of Milani.

Paris

Having been eclipsed by the Kardashians, Paris has had to resort to Minge Moments to get anyone to notice her at all. Like this one.

7. Mel B, former Spice Girl and Talent Show Judge, wearing Walter Mendez.

image

In case you needed an excuse not to watch X Factor, Mel will be joining the Judges this summer so start planning Saturday Nights out. As for the dress, it gives us not only a Minge Moment and a Thigh Moment but also full view of some very plastic looking tits.

8. Kelly Rowland, Singer, wearing Houghton.

kelly big trousers

Kelly has a fabulous figure but no-one could carry off this capacious ensemble made out of recycled trash bags and worn with bunion – inducing pointy pewter pumps.

9. Khloe Kardashian, Pointless Celebrity, wearing Who Knows What.

Khloe Kardashian arriving at Loews Hollywood HotelLess Pretty Woman and more Pussy in Boots. And that Chanel rucksack is offensive.

10. Lauren Goodger, Pointless Celebrity and former TOWIE “star” wearing Dolls’ House.

laUREN

As WTF remarked  at the time, this is the worst £170 ever spent. Lauren is continually banging on about her weight and yet shrink-wraps herself in this translucent onesie giving appalled onlookers a close-up 0f her large bottom. Just go away.

11. Rumer Willis, Celebrity Daughter, wearing Franzsika Fox.

Rumer

The good news is that she is wearing pink panties. The bad news is that you can see them – but only after worrying what it is you’re looking at. But with famous parents (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore) and no talent, what else does the poor girl have to offer?

12. Carina Lau, Actress, wearing Ralph & Russo, seen here with husband, actor Tony Leung (who looks fine).

image

is really is a pussy pelmet, like curtains over an alcove in a tart’s boudoir. But much worse are the see-through trousers with encrusted Minge. What possessed her?

13. Susie Elelman, Australian Broadcaster, wearing Who Knows What.

susie

Susie is in her 60’s and looks terrific. However, that does not mean that we wish to see so much of her and the dress with its Lion King-logo bodice is quite, quite hideous.

14. Martha Stewart, Lifestyle Guru and former jailbird, wearing Who Knows What at the Time 100 Gala.

image

 Martha’s get-up is reminiscent of the clobber worn by American Footballers.   WTF is not a fan of American Football which, as she remarked at the time, appears to be an activity principally composed of men the size of buildings running into each other with maximum prejudice, like Game of Thrones without the sex. And as if that were not bad enough, the sock line on the calves is unforgivable.

15. Sandra Lee, Celebrity Chef and Partner of the Governor of New York, wearing Dara Lamb.

"Charles James: Beyond Fashion" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

No, she is not at her wedding but at the Met Gala, the Fashion Event of the year. The only thing preventing her dress looking too bridal is the meat-and-two-veg silk genitalia cascading down the front. Shudder.

16. Actress Rose MacGowan wearing Ulyana Sergeenko.

image

Rose wore this to meet President Obama at the White House. Yes, really. It looks as if she twisted the dress round in order to zip it up and then was unable to twist it back again. And what’s with the bustier?

17. Jamie AndersonOlympic Gold Medallist Snowboarder, wearing Who Knows What.

jamie

Jamie wore this to meet President Obama at the White House. Yes, really. As WTF aficionado Trevor remarked, she looks like she’s come out in a hurry. Really, really bad.

18. Di Mondo, preposterous Chilean-born fashionista wearing Who Knows What.

di mondo

WTF Indeed. A bejewelled face mask? Readers were asked to decide if (i) he was worried about a sagging chin (ii) he was on a diet or (iii) he was just a prat. You have probably guessed which answer 99% of them chose….

19. Rita Ora, Singer and ubiquitous Celebrity, wearing Jaime Lee.

rita seethru

Frankly, almost anything Rita wore over the last 6 months could have qualified for inclusion but this frothy concoction, complete with sparkles and Minge Fringe and worn with My Little Pony hair, was particularly bad.

20. Bobby Norris, pointless TOWIE celebrity, on the beach in Marbella wearing  (??) Inderwear. Careful now…put down any hot drinks or sharp implements…

bobby-norris-thong

Bobby’s partner Harry Derbidge was wearing a white version of this thing-thong but Bobby’s is worse because (i) his tan line is ridiculous (ii) he hasn’t waxed properly and (iii) he has matched his cocksock to his cocktail. Plus extra minus points for the eyebrows. Yurgle.

OK Readers – get voting! Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

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9 Responses to WTF SUMMER STINKER 2014 POLL SPECIAL

  1. Laura says:

    Wait a minute ! Number two should be disqualified – that isn’t clothes, I checked the definition of clothes and it says “covering the body” therefore Victoria and Bobby don’t qualify.

  2. Andrew Purcell says:

    “There can be only one.”
    -advertisement for “Highlander” (1986)
    Bobby Norris wasn’t even born then, but…
    Oh hell, I’m still laughing at him from last week.
    Thank you wtffashionshark. It’s great to start the day laughing.

  3. Sally Cowen says:

    Almost impossible to choose.
    What a fine selection. Well done

  4. thenewrosegarden says:

    I AM STILL PUKING FROM LAST WEEK. I have night mares. And then you posted that stupid boy’s pic again.The mentally deranged one with the …ewww yuk yuk yuk!

    • fashionshark says:

      Er……sorry! But I couldn’t leave it out could I?

      • Andrew Purcell says:

        No you couldn’t leave him out. Young Mr. Norris is demonstrating the stupidity and the vulgarity and the exhibitionism that gave birth to this blog.
        Nightmares and vomiting because of the image? That is overstatement. Half of the people on this planet have an appendage just like the one he has wrapped in that sling. Everyone else, even in the most cloistered convent, has at least a basic idea of what one looks like. Hell, I’ve got one too. Quite fond of it. Have been for decades.
        I don’t mean to sound pedantic but photographs of Auschwitz should cause nightmares and vomiting. A picture of a vulgar little boy with his dong in a thong and a strap through his crack shouldn’t produce a reaction much more extreme than a modest blush or a good laugh.
        -This is the first time I have ever used “pedantic” in a sentence. Do I get a prize? Maybe a free subscription to wtffashionshark?

      • thenewrosegarden says:

        LOL I know! You should send him a trophy if he wins. And a pair of Boxers.

  5. thenewrosegarden says:

    I see Andrew, my sarcastic sense of humour has just just rushed over your head..never mind dear. As for men’s appendages, being a biology teacher that doesn’t surprise or shock me!

    • Andrew says:

      Not over my head. I’ve been laughing at Mr. Norris for nearly two weeks now. I’m really having too much fun with this to stop. And it really was the first time I have ever had the chance to use “pedantic” in a sentence.

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