wtffashionshark

 Hallo Readers,

And so it is time to say goodbye to the departing government of the day. The undertakers will attend number 10 Downing Street and shovel up the mangled remains before carting them away to be buried deep underground, so deep underground that the sarcophagus will not be found for years to come. The Starmer administration may be duller than ditchwater and terrified of appearing to be even slightly radical. And Nigel Farage finally got elected together with other unsavoury types representing Reform.  But how could it possibly be worse than what has gone before?

It started 14 years ago with an unholy alliance between David Cameron’s Tories and Nick  Clegg’s Liberal Democrats. In 2015, the Lib Dems were a busted flush, more interested in power than in principle, leaving Cameron in sole charge. That is, until the fateful night in June 2016, when his appeasement of the slavering, European-hating, human rights-abhorring, tilting-towards-UKIP, right-wing fools on his back benches by promising them a referendum on whether to leave Europe exploded in his face. Not to mention the faces of every citizen who found themselves with less than they started with and nothing to show for it apart from an ill-tempered country, torn in half and bamboozled by lies. Cameron then departed, making way for Theresa May who tried to force through something she did not believe in and failed. Enter Boris Johnson, that bloviating bounder who lied his way through achieving a Brexit that could not possibly work, and Covid, which he failed to manage, leading to tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths.  Meanwhile pals of the party bigwigs got fat on PPE contracts which, in many cases, did not even produce what was required to protect doctors, nurses, social workers, home carers, shop workers, transport workers, and the vulnerable, many of whom died in their droves. As the guys and girls at Downing Street partied away or tested their eyesight behind the wheel with their wife and child in the car. When Johnson’s dishonourable behaviour became too much even for his own ministers, we were treated to 49 days of madness in the form of Liz Truss, who tanked the economy before giving way to the man she had defeated in an election only weeks earlier. And that man, Rishi Sunak, over-promoted, under-achieving and lacking any real understanding of politics, tactics, and common sense (only a man with no common sense could appoint Esther McVey, as Minister for Commonsense) has led his party to a humiliating defeat. A campaign that began in a monsoon and ended in a car crash. Goodbye and good riddance to Jacob Rees-Mogg, Penny Mordaunt, Grant Shapps, Therese Coffey, Andrea Jenkyns, Gillian Keegan and any others that lose their seats while WTF crawled under the duvet at 5 30 am. You won’t be missed.

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial shitshow with Spanish influencer and blogger Pelayo Diaz at the Dolce & Gabbana Alta Moda binge in Sardinia wearing…well obviously….

He is in a straitjacket with sparkly trewsies. Or a bad case of dandruff.

We are now at one of WTF’s favourite events of the year, the Black Entertainment  Television Awards (‘BET’) where we encounter singer songwriter Akon. Scroll down slowly.…

What the fuck are those boots? They could not be any more hideous, like a turkey’s wattle. It is enough to turn you vegan come Christmas time.

Now it is time to meet self-described ‘unique’ designer Darrell Dupard wearing something presumably of his own design. He is right. Luckily.

If Mickey Mouse went to a fancy dress party as his granny’s hand-crocheted blanket, this is what he would look like. The combination of spindly little legs and enormous shoes is one of the silliest things that WTF has seen for quite some time.

This is singer Tinache wearing Guvanch Agajumayev.

WTF has a number of objections to the  dress, principally that it is ugly, but far more that it resembles the unidentified fishy object that washed up on Fremantle beach in Western Australia and lay abandoned as the grey waves splashed around it. Meanwhile, one hopes that there were medics on standby ready to restore circulation to Tinashe’s legs as a result of all that binding.

And this is another alleged fashion designer, Heart Roberts. Again, one presumes that he is wearing something of his own range.

There is distressed. And there is destroyed. Destroyed as in completely transformed from something into nothing recognisable from its original state. And this denim ensemble is utterly destroyed. It puts one in mind of the piles of discarded fast fashion mountains found in Chile and other places, and not in a good way.-

Now we are at the New York  Public Library, where designer Marc Jacobs held his fashion show. This is Madonna’s daughter Lourdes Lèon. In Marc Jacobs.

Other than having emerged from Madonna’s lady garden, it is unclear what Lourdes has to offer other than a load of borrowed designer clobber and an expression bordering on the farouche. This is not so much a dress as a Rorschach test with imminent minge moment.

And almost, but not quite, finally we have rapper Cardi B also clad in Marc Jacobs.

So on the plus side, she is more covered up than she usually is because she’s not usually covered up at all. Normally it is all hanging out for the world to see.    On the minus side, she looks like the love child of Diana Ross in her Supremes days and an overstuffed Victorian doll. By the way, she must have someone on hand at all times for all and any domestic tasks, including going to the loo, getting dressed and operating the Nespresso machine because her  lilac coloured talons are  wholly impracticable. And ridiculous.

And now, the moment that you have all waiting for! Yes! It is the moment of truth where we announce the winner of the coveted title of the WTF Summer Stinker 2024!  She sprang into the lead from the start and stayed there, albeit facing a late challenge from Amanza Smith but Julia Fox was a more than worthy winner. Marvel again at the complete lack of any sort of taste. And then weep.

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 This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from absolutely everyone who had the misfortune to witness the horror that was Joe Biden’s performance in the televised debate last week against the orange buffoon Donald Trump. He started sentences that never finished. Others sentences did finish but nowhere with any relevance to the original topic under discussion. His mouth hung open like a bewildered fish. He was quite incapable of contradicting Trump’s disgusting lies and the CNN anchors did not even try. 

It is no good. He is a good man but he’s past it. He is condemning America to another four years of Trump insanity. It grieves WTF deeply but there is no hiding from it. He’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x