wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers 

Jacob Rees-Mogg popped up on the radio this week in an interview on LBC. For some people the big takeaway was his admission that he had never owned a pair of jeans or a tee shirt. Of course he hasn’t. But for WTF, the most striking part was his assertion that Brexit has been a great success. WTF seems to recall some stuff during the referendum campaign about how leaving the EU would return British jobs to British workers, apart that is from the ones that they do not wish to do and which nobody is now doing, like fruit picking and long distance lorry driving. Although if those benighted Ukrainians ever manage to get past Priti Patel’s maze of red tape, they can always hotfoot it down to the rural idylls of England and get cracking on the strawberries. However 800 British people did have British jobs working for P&O, the ferries that sail between the UK and the Continent. That is, they had jobs until lunchtime on Thursday when they received a Zoom message from the management announcing they were all getting the push with immediate effect to be replaced by cheap labour, presumably un-unionised and inexperienced, brought in via a “third party” from who knows where in order to save money. Never mind that the company, now owned by a “wealth fund” in Dubai, was quick to take millions of pounds of furlough money during lockdown, not to mention a sub of £33 million. Now that the era of Covid is officially over  (© Boris Johnson) and people are venturing back on holidays,  P&O has decided to reward experienced seafarers by chucking them on the scrapheap. The law requires 90 days consultation before a redundancy takes effect, but P&O paid as much attention to that as they did to loyalty and decency. Vote Brexit! Get the sack! If the Ukrainians are not up for a bit of agriculture, perhaps the newly-unemployed seafarers can give it a go… If this is what Rees- Mogg (who is, do not forget, the Minister for Brexit Opportunities), regards as a great success, one shudders to think what failure looks like. Although we know what failure looks like. It looks like him and his wretched colleagues…

There was one bright light this week in a slough of despond. Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe and Anoosheh Ashoori finally returned home to their families after the Foreign Office did what it should have done decades ago and repaid Iran the £400 million it owed them for an aborted arms deal. There was an emotional reunion at RAF Brize Norton in the early hours of Thursday morning. WTF gives credit to Foreign Secretary Liz Truss for actually pushing the deal through, which is more than her predecessors managed, especially the five pounds of shit in a four pound bag that is Boris Johnson, whose lack of preparation and arrogant stupidity extended her stay in a Tehran prison. But just as WTF was beginning to think more warmly of the Truss, she saw that she had barged her way into the Brize Norton reunions, photobombed practically every picture of the happy families and then retweeted endless pictures of herself throughout the day. With Truss, no good deed goes unpublicised.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam with singer Rihanna out and about wearing a diamond bra, leather jacket and mini skirt by Alexander Wang and Amina Muaddi boots.

Rihanna is pregnant, apparently. Who knew? Answer – bloody everyone.  It is very tedious. This time she has ventured out dressed as Glenn Hughes aka Leatherman from Village People in a pair of kinky top boots.

And here we are at the BAFTA Awards in London actor Emma Watson wearing Oscar de la Renta,

Emma’s outfit caused WTF aficionados Baroness Bishop LLB Hons Ph.D to point out that Emma was dressed as something out of Swan Lake with a black regulation swimming costume and John to ask why Emma was dressed as a chicken. And they are both bang on the nail.

And a rare honour for Emma because she is in twice! This has happened only about three times over the past ten years. Her second appearance is for her choice of legwear/shoes thingy at the Chanel BAFTA dinner.

WHAT???? WHY???? And they are so wrinkled! Even Nora Batty in Last of the Summer Wine would be embarrassed…

 This is actor Daniel Kaluuya, wearing Prada.

 

Jeff Goldblum wore the black version of this nonsensical item at Milan’s Men’s Fashion Week and although this fits Daniel much better than it fit Jeff, the Russian hats on the arms are even sillier in cobalt blue than they were in black. At least WTF can repeat the picture from last time …..

Finally from the BAFTAs here is actor Florence Pugh wearing Carolina Herrera.

Oh Lord. Really? The bow and train are like a flowing placenta….

For reasons quite unclear to everyone, the BAFTAs took place on the same night as the Critics Choice Awards in LA, starting with actor and director Kristen Wiig wearing Rodarte. 

Yawn. Next.

Next up we have actor Lady Gaga wearing Gucci.

This is a stinker if ever there was one. In contrast to her gorgeous Ralph Lauren  dress worn for the BAFTAS, this is tawdry and tacky. And since when did California introduce a tit mask mandate?

This one is just plain sad. Here is former tennis superstar Venus Williams, wearing Versace

From the earliest days of the blog, WTF has always said that Versace was Italian for vulgar and if this is not proof positive of that adage, what is? Either wear a skirt or don’t. But do not venture out on the Red Carpet wearing a loincloth.

Next we have actor Jodie Turner-Smith, also wearing Gucci. Gucci was having a bad night on both sides of the Atlantic.

This is like a checklist of things that WTF hates almost above all things. A one-sleeved dress on a two-armed woman. Frills where frills do not need to be.  A thing around her neck like a silk floor mop.  She resembles an overdone cockatoo.

And finally, it’s her again. Yes, singer Rita Ora  in Elie Saab and  her producer boyfriend Taika Waititi.

MINGE!!!!! GROIN!!!!! BELLY BUTTON!!!!! It’s a gynaecologist’s wet dream. Give it a rest love, for Gawd’s sake. 

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado David from the Barbican who has taken against Lady Gaga’s handbag at the  BAFTAS. Not the beautiful Ralph Lauren dress she wore but the handbag.

David says ‘This is possibly the ultimate Minge / Merkin moment being held at a distance as if it were some kind of exhibit. And its he wrong? It’s so HAIRY!!!! Who holds their handbag like that? Although in this case you can see why…..It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do not forget your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments which cheer WTF up no end. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x