WTF Stone in the Pond Special

Hallo Readers,

There were many strange sights and sounds this week. There was the Defence Secretary, Ben Wallace, describing the allegation from a former para who complained of the Government abandoning him in Afghanistan as “bollocks”. There were dehydrated babies being passed over barbed wire at Kabul Airport to bemused US soldiers by their despairing mothers, and more babies being born on the aircraft taking their parents to safety. There was some idiot woman on Fox News blaming Jill Biden for Joe Biden’s handling of Afghanistan. In the UK, there were anti-vaccine, anti-lockdown, anti-brain demonstrators, led by a bloke who used to be in Coronation Street for about half an hour, invading the ITV/Channel 4 News building in Central London and heckling Jon Snow (no, not that one, the newscaster). But nothing was more striking than the sight of Donald Trump,  The Former Guy, at a super-spreader rally in Alabama getting the bird from some of the crowd for admitting that he had been jabbed against Covid and advising them to do the same.

To put this in context, Alabama, the Land That Time Forgot, is ranked 50th out of the 50 US states for vaccinations – only 47% of  its citizens have been inoculated. It is also ranked the 5th lowest state in terms of education, and my Goodness, it shows. Even its Governor, Kay Ivey, a woman who makes Margaret Thatcher look like Rebecca Long-Bailey, has lost patience with her electorate as infection rates climb steadily, remarking, “Folks are supposed to have common sense”. Not in Alabama they aren’t. When she greeted TFG on the tarmac as he flew in for the rally, did she bend his ear and ask him to have a word? If she did, then she is bound to be off this year’s Christmas card list because even TFG, a man whose word is usually heard as reverentially as that of the Almighty Himself, was roundly booed for even suggesting vaccines might be OK.

TFG has been long been walking a tightrope about this. 30% of his supporters do not actually believe he has even been jabbed at all. He was in fact vaccinated back in January but be chose to say nothing about it. Since then, he has been virtually silent on the topic, unlike all the other living Presidents. At the same time, TFG has promoted his own role in hurrying through the vaccines, even though many of his followers regard them as more ungodly than a foursome with Dr Fauci, Bill Gates and every Jew-hater’s favourite nightmare, George Soros. And on Saturday night, we saw why TFG had chosen silence. While he has previously said nothing, his handmaidens on Fox News and OANN and Newsmax,  radio hosts who, in another age, would have been taken away in a straitjacket and the likes of Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (ditto), have all rubbished the vaccines so that now even TFG cannot persuade his own devoted followers to take them. And this is a man whom they believed when he claimed that the election was nobbled and that American patriots had kissed and cuddled police officers at the Capitol on January 6. He has unleashed this madness and now even he cannot control it. As WTF’s late Russian granny used to say, it takes one fool to throw a stone in the water and ten wise people to get it out again.


We start our review of the week’s sartorial silliness with Madonna, celebrating her 63rd birthday in Italy with her current beau, dancer Ahlamalik Williams.

Commentators have sniped at the age difference between Mads and Ahlamalik (27), but frankly, WTF is not bothered at all – good luck to them. She is however unimpressed by her outfit which manages to combine equal parts of mumsiness, old-style Southern Belle and silliness, particularly the socks. Overall, the impression is very Driving Miss Daisy……  


Next up we have lovely actor Sarah Paulson wearing Miu Miu.

 The good news – the shoes are lovely, although impossible to walk in, and Winnie the dog is a real cutie.  Winnie’s look of bewilderment on looking at Sarah dressed like a saucy French Maid is noted and endorsed. That dog is a critic. WTF is going to offer her a guest slot ……


More black and white with actor Lily Collins wearing Ronald van Der Kemp at a Cartier party in Los Angeles.

Love the hair and makeup, very Katherine Hepburn, but the outfit is to long at the back and too short at the front with shoulders where the hanger seems to have been left in in the jacket. If a penguin went to a fancy dress party as a hat check girl, this is what it would look like.

Love Island 2020 twins Eve Gale and Jess Gale out and about in London.

There has been a distinct interference with the workings of nature, and they both have that now-obligatory trout pout, faces shinier than a ten pin bowling ball, tits like balloons and skin the colour of stewed tea. They are also going out to dinner in London dressed as if they were still lounging round the pool at the Majorcan villa and flashing their arse cheeks, which WTF has decided to spare you …. instead here are the girls before they met Botox. Look and weep.


Next up, here is TOWIE person Gemma Collins and former (and perhaps reinstated fiancé) Rami Hawash. 

Rami’s jeans are not so much distressed as destroyed and Gemma looks like a perambulating kaleidoscope in sandals. Oh and the teeny-weeny bag is Valentino and costs £1550.

Now we have model Shanina Shaikh wearing Christopher Esber.

Well, I say “wearing” but there is not much to wear. There is a giant tit window and a minge mullion, and seems to the lovechild of an old sheet and a discarded Ku Klux Klan robe.

Newcomers to these pages, England and Manchester Citeh footballer Jack Grealish and Love Island 2018 person Ellie Brown. They are in a nightclub in Manchester.

They are not together, they both claim (Jack has a girlfriend) and they just bumped into each other by the loos, as you do. Ellie’s bustier makes her look even bustier, but WTF is more interested in Jack’s ridiculous attire made more ridiculous by the hems tucked into his socks like a geography teacher cycling to school.  Footballers have a lot of time on their hands and Jack seems to have spent his scribbling on his trouser legs which look like illustrated carrots.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from appalled WTF aficionado WTF in Islington who came across this picture tweeted by Simon from Wharfedale in Yorkshire. Ready? You won’t be……

Look, let us not mince words. It may be that the person who wrote this did not have English as a first language, or that he/she was taking the piss.  But does the supermarket involved not have a someone in charge who is even vaguely literate? If you were considering making chilli con carne or shepherd’s pie, and you saw this, you would hotfoot it to the vegan section before you could say moose knuckle. There is no question. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your top comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x.


















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