WTF Anything Could Happen Special

Hallo Readers, 

Do you remember when Boris Johnson spoke at various Tory Party Leadership Election Hustings and said that the chance of a no-deal Brexit was a million to one against? WTF does – it was on 26 June 2019. Then Johnson took office. By 14 August, a no-deal Brexit had become ‘more likely’.  Thank goodness he doesn’t run a casino – his business would have gone belly-up, just like that of his mentor Donald J Trump, who managed to lose money on not one, not two, but three, Atlantic City casinos in the 1990s and put each of those businesses into bankruptcy.

This week, the chances of a no-deal Brexit are looking extremely very likely and then some. Johnson and his side-kick, Dominic Cummings, came up with a plan to stop Parliament stopping  them – they announced that Parliament would be prorogued on 9 September, only days after it comes back from its summer holidays on 3 September. It will then reassemble on 14 October, leaving just over a fortnight for MPs to debate the Queen’s speech that no one gives a stuff about and to debate the new deal that Johnson says he can get from the EU, which he can’t, and probably doesn’t believe he can anyway. Even if he does get one, if it is no better than the Theresa May deals, who will vote for it? So out we go on 31 October with no deal. Which is what some, if not most, of his Cabinet wanted all along.

Of course there might be vote of no confidence. If the Government lose, there could be an election, and Jeremy Corbyn might win it, under a coalition of odds and sods various. So the person who in 2016, and for decades beforehand, probably wanted Brexit more than either May (who voted against it) or Johnson (who only decided to back Brexit on what seems to have been the toss of a coin and an eye on the main chance), might end up as Prime Minister to stop a Government that wanted Brexit. The people who wanted Brexit to reclaim our Parliamentary sovereignty are cheering loudly for the voice of Parliament to be silenced. And the ones who went on and on about how Europe wanted us more than we wanted them, and how we would be given a cracking deal, are now busy pretending that they always knew it would be this bad, and that they voted in the full knowledge that this would happen, even though they attacked every one who said it would be this bad as pedalling Project Fear.

So that is clear, right?. We might be leaving with a deal. We might be leaving without a deal. We might have Johnson ushering in the new dawn. We might have Jeremy Corbyn ushering in the new dawn. We might have some other bugger ushering in the new dawn, There might not be a dawn. Meanwhile, anyone worried about getting their flu vaccine this Autumn – whoops. That might be a problem because we do not have enough vaccine in stock, and the rest will be sitting on lorries outside Calais in a 100 km queue.  And if you are waiting for that promised US Trade Deal Trump was waffling on about at the G7- you might have to wait even longer than for your flu jab. These things take time to negotiate, and then the US Congress has to pass it – which it has said it will not unless there is provision for the Irish border issue is resolved. It may be a while before you can tuck in to your US chlorinated chicken, which might make you sick, in which case you can go to the newly privatised, Trump-owned NHS and have your stomach pumped. It will be worth the wait…..

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We survey the weekly fashion flotsam with the clothing on show at the MTV Video Music Awards in Newark, New Jersey, where sartorial horror abounded. We start with singer Camila Cabello wearing Balmain.

Balmain? Really? This thing is just a peekaboo bed sheet and WTF is always worried when there is more train than dress. Not that this is a dress.

Next up, we have model Bella Hadid, wearing Charlotte Knowles.

This is more a case of Charlotte No!!!!! – a boobtube and ruched slip with braces (or suspenders, as our American friends would call them). WTF has a number of objections to this apparel, not least that it is uglier than a very ugly dog. And WTF has also taken against Bella’s pout, which makes her look like a duck pretending to be Melania Trump.

Of course, former model Heidi Klum was there. She is always at these things, and always wearing something silly.  In this case, it is by Nedo.

It looks like a sparkly bin bag with Dynasty-style shoulders and a crotch curtain. Heidi should remove the dress and line the dustbin with it. And then put her stylist’s contract into the trash and get a new stylist.

Here is one of WTF’s favourites, rapper and Law and Order – Special Victims Unit actor Ice-T, and his fragrant wife, glamour model, cabaret artiste and Internet personality Coco Austin. She is wearing not a lot, whilst he is wearing Versace.

Regular Readers will know that WTF is a huge fan of SVU, where Ice-T plays Fin Tutuola, the grumpy cop with a heart of gold. He and the pneumatic Coco have been married for 17 years and they still seem happy. However WTF is not happy with Coco’s dress, because she might have as well have doodled on herself in her tiny thong and not bothered with anything else.

Meet singer Ava Max, wearing Kalmin.

If the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz went to a fancy dress party dressed as Superwoman in a truss, this is what he would look like.

Here is actress Drea de Matteo with her kiddies Alabama and Waylon. Drea is wearing a dress by The Paper Bag Princess.

Alabama is 11 years old and has no business dressing as Mummy’s mini-me, and Ice-T should revert to being Fin Tutuola and arrest Mummy forthwith for child cruelty.  And if that wont stick, to arrest her for wearing a stupid dress and flashing her knickers in public.

Back again! It’s singer Bebe Rexha wearing Christian Siriano.

Readers, we have now hit a really rough patch – what follows are assorted body parts on display under what are laughingly supposed to be clothes. Bebe here is flashing her bottom through what appears to be a silver cake doily.

And this is Prince Derek Doll. No, WTF doesn’t know who the hell he is either.

This is the sort of peekaboo, no-knickers, thing that one of the terrible Kardashian sisters would wear. Now men have started doing it too, which is to be deplored. And he seems to have some sort of giant bird on his shoulders. Kill me now.

This one is even worse. Bringing up the rear, quite literally, we have the star of Love and Hip Hop: Miami Bobby Lytes wearing That Trendy Guy. Careful now.

This is the male no-knickers look, worn under a yellow version of Bebe’s cake doily. And what follows is not good either. In fact it is very very bad.

He is flashing his buttocks in a sheer panel inserted into the cake doily, like a pervy cowboy in chaps taking parts as a contestant in a Wild West Bakeoff. You never saw John Wayne dressed like this. Yurgle.

 

The winner of the Worst of the Worst Poll was …….. Bobby Norris in his 2014 version of the cock-sock. Go and look at last week’s blog to see it in all his horror. You have seen enough male bits for one week in this one.. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next week. Keep those comments coming and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go.  Be good. x

 

This entry was posted in Alabama, Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Uncategorized, VMAs 2019, Worst Dressed Celebrities and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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