The old adage that the apple does not fall far from the tree was never more true than in the case sexist oaf Luis Rubiales, the man who thought it was perfectly fine to celebrate Spain’s winning the Women’s World Cup by grabbing his own royal box whilst in the actual Royal Box only feet away from Spain’s Queen Letizia and her 16 year old daughter, Princess Sofia. Fortunately, our own Princess Charlotte was not present as her father, who holds the parallel position to Rubiales as President of the English Football Association, could not be arsed to make the flight to Sydney. Rubiales then famously compounded matters by taking a player’s head in both hands and kissing her smack on the lips. It should be remembered that Rubiales was at work at the time and the player in question, Jenni Hermoso, is one of his employees. When she later said that she had not consented to the kiss and did not like it, he rocked up at a meeting of the Spanish Football Association and, rather than tendering his resignation as had been expected, attacked ‘false feminism’, called Hermoso a liar and said that he would fight unto the death to retain his position. Whereupon the audience, 99% men, proffered a rapturous standing ovation, the sort of reception given to Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un. The Spanish FA even threatened to sue Hermoso. However since that high watermark for male chauvinism, support for Rubiales has been ebbing away, FIFA has suspended him (the situation has got to be bad when FIFA ends up looking good) and many of those who had applauded him only days before now jumped on the bandwagon and said he had to go.
At which point, Rubiales’s mother, Angeles Behar, aged 72, decided to support her son by locking herself in her local church in Motril and going on hunger strike, telling a news conference that this would continue ‘indefinitely, day and night’ and that ‘the inhuman and bloody hunt that they are doing with my son is something he does not deserve’. All this while dressed in a yellow lace ensemble. WTF asked herself whether WTF mère would have stepped away from the foodstuffs in order to support her beloved daughter who had made a colossal fool of herself in front of hundreds of millions of people, and then doubled down whilst calling the victim of a clear sexual assault a liar, and concluded that this was unlikely, given maman’s love of toast thickly spread with butter, not to mention a steaming bowl of chicken soup with knaidlach. Clearly, Ms Behar has spent her life indulging her son and pandering to his every whim, which explains why he behaves like such a pig. Perhaps she believes that it is alright for the president of an organisation to snog his employees in public and that Hermoso, or indeed any woman, should have felt honoured to have been treated to Luis’s luscious lips. Sadly, after only two days of passing up on the paella, Ms Behar had a funny turn and was taken to hospital. Local priest Father Antonio told Reuters that she had not been feeling well because of the heat and everything else, had become extremely anxious, that her feet were swollen and that she was very tired. Happily, she was discharged the next day and is now back home and, one hopes, eating and drinking again as normal. With any luck, Rubiales’s tenure will soon be over and he and his mother can have dinner together whilst fondly reminiscing about the good old days when you could put your hands all over a woman with impunity.
We begin our review of the week’s abysmal attire with actor and singer Frankie Bridge out and about in London’s Shaftesbury Avenue wearing a denim skirt and a corset by Giuseppe di Morabito. And a dead rose around her neck.
There is new nonsense afoot -‘ stars’ appearing in West End Theatres have a little fashion show every night as they leave the stage door (Lily Allen is doing the same thing, but so far she looks good, if a little overdressed). Frankie’s absurd top (which costs £570) looks like what Batman would wear if he went to a fancy dress party as Ado Annie from Oklahoma!
Next up, we have model Hailey Bieber wearing Marc Jacobs while promoting her new lip gloss for her range Rhode.
There is short. And there is flashing your knickers. These are actually swaddling clothes as seen on the Infant Jesus in Bethlehem.
And this is Hailey’s hubby, Justin Bieber, out and about in Beverley Hills looking like a right knob.
There is probably a really good reason why Justin is wearing a baseball cap over a hoodie. A good reason other, that is, than being a right knob. But WTF has no idea what that reason is. None whatsoever. He looks like Jemima Puddle-Duck in yellow crocs.
To Mexico for the Nickelodeon Awards and Chilean TikTok celebritee Ignacia Antonia wearing a most remarkable ensemble.
A silk loincloth and tit cover over a lacy bodystocking with matching socks and follow-me-home-and-fuck-me shoes. Hideous.
And here is another influencer, Polish born Claudia Fijal attending the Babes in Toyland event in Las Vegas.
WTF does not know the gentleman with Claudia, but wishes to observe that he is a walking example of why you should keep your hands of your pockets when your trousers are too small. And she thinks that he is not wearing socks with his diamanté Louboutin loafers, but tattooed feet. As for Claudia, those tits are the runaway winner of this year’s Grant and Phil Mitchell award.
Here is singer Rita Ora arriving at the Venice Film Festival.
FFS! This is Venice in high summer not Vladivostok in deep winter. And what are those things on her feet? Even Daphne Guinness would up turn her perfectly retroussé nose at them. Rita looks like a polar bear precariously balanced on a couple of gift boxes.
And finally here is our old friend Megan Thee Stallion wearing not much. No change there….
A pair of massive knockers and a perfectly plucked pudendum. Luckily, she is wearing panties, for which relief much thanks. But just looking at her is giving WTF a headache, like a peepshow through gauze.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who was aghast to see the promotion of oleaginous mega-creep Grant Shapps to Secretary of State for Defence after the last incumbent, Ben Wallace, legged it. This is now the FIFTH Cabinet position Shapps has held in about five weeks. WTF is all for versatility, but this is ridiculous. No sooner has he unpacked his pencil case and arranged the photo of his wife and kiddies than he is off to a new office to unpack the pencil case and the photo all over again.
Shapps probably knows as much about Defence as WTF knows about nuclear fission. Last week, WTF’s rant said that Nadine Dorries should go with immediate effect, as per the advertised programme, and she resigned the next day. WTF is hoping for a similar success with the horrible little Shapps. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x