WTF Carry On Special

Hallo Readers,

WTF is demob happy – she is off on holiday to France (rioters permitting) and then to Cornwall and so you are being given time off for good behaviour. She will be back on 11 August, although you lot will probably will be on your holidays then. Never mind. Let us get on with the rant…..

Is it too much to ask that the people making our laws, whose salary we pay, can actually observe those laws and behave in a decent way? Answer – yes. If recent reports and events are anything to go by, the House of Commons seems to be packed to the rafters with priapic, pissed Members who have not yet grasped that droit de seigneur is no longer an actual thing, and that grabbing people’s private bits and pieces, making highly sexualized remarks and inviting them to sit on their laps is not only impermissible but is also sexual assault, which is a crime, and sexual harassment, which is a civil wrong. And so, despite at least two reports by prominent legal persons into the goings-on in the House, bringing promises of change which never materialised, it still remains a 21st Century mashup of Carry on Groping meets Life On Mars. Alth0ugh even Gene Hunt would be appalled at this lot.

 This week it is Chris Pincher MP who is most likely heading for the exit after the Commons Standards Committee, or should that be the Lack of Standards Committee, found that he had assaulted two young men at the Carlton Club. The Carlton Club is a Private Members Club for Tories in the heart of Piccadilly. Only in Pincher’s case, he did not regard other people’s members as private. Drunk as a skunk, he touched one man on his arm and neck before groping his bottom before turning his attentions to a second man, touching his bottom and then his testicles. When the story broke last year, Pincher accepted that he had been drunk and had acted inappropriately. He announced that he would seek medical professional help, which presumably involved applying swathes of blotting paper to his liver. He resigned as the Government Chief Whip. Pincher’s proclivities came as a surprise to absolutely no one who knew him, including Boris Johnson, although the then Prime Minister, true to form, attempted to claim that he had known nothing about anything. No of course he had.  At which point, nearly all of Johnson’s ministers spat the dummy and ran away screaming, resulting in the brief and ghastly tenure of Liz Truss. Pincher’s defence, insofar as it could be called a defence at all, was that he had brought himself into disrepute, but not Parliament, the charge he was being forced to answer.  Needless to say this argument fell at the first hurdle and the Committee recommended an eight- week suspension which automatically triggers the right of his constituents to demand a by-election. If Pincher had any decency, which he obviously does not, he would resign, and then nobody would have to bother about him ever again, including the good people of Tamworth whom he is supposed to represent. But as we have discovered over and over again, this lot do not do shame. If MPs cannot set us an example of how to behave, what on earth is the point of them?


We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam with French actor Pom Klementieff publicising Mission Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part 1 down under in Australia.

If a bunch of tags wore socks and stilettos and went on a promotional tour, this is what it would look like. The Sydney Opera House is, as ever, spectacular.

To one of WTF’s favourite events of the year, the BET (Black Entertainment TV) Awards where we find rapper Ice Spice wearing Dolce & Gabbana. 

That is a LOT is visible groin and upper thigh, all highlighted by some ‘this way to my minge’ arrows. And there is a more serious complaint  – it (the dress, NOT Ice Spice) is really, really, dog ugly. 

And at the same event, here is actor Ari Fletcher wearing (??) The Attico.

Like an suspended, inverted Ace of Clubs with a tit bolero. Yurgle.

Next we go to Paris Fashion Week where we discover Belgian-Egyptian singer Tamino wearing Dior at the Dior show.

WTF is not against a man in a skirt – how could she be, given her love of all things Scottish? (except Frankie Boyle) – but she IS against half and half, particularly when it is as raggedy as this concoction with the shrunken trewsies  and the dull, clompy boots. All he needs is a top hat and a net. What is this recent outbreak of Child Catcher fashion?

More Dior with actor Araya A Hargate.

Was the intended effect to make her look like an old lady swathed in faded lace? Or in mouldy antimacassars? The attempted jauntiness of the beret does not detract from the fact that this is both ageing and unflattering.

Still in Paris, we have singer/songwriter Camila Cabello wearing Stephane Rolland.

Camila had nothing to wear and so tore the pelmet and curtains down from the windows of her hotel suite and ventured out of doors…….

More white, this time on rapper Cardi B in Belanciaga.

Why is Cardi B dressed up as a fluffy white bird? Answers please…..

And this is actor Maisie Williams wearing Iris van Herpen.

WTF read an article recently on how the poo emoji was now popping up on restaurant menus and now it appears to be popping up on dresses as well.



AND NOW …………





Sam was neck and neck with titsy twins Shannon and Shenade Clermont but just edged them out. Julia Fox was a very creditable third. 

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Stephen from Brighton (with WTF in most fervent agreement), who is perplexed and bewildered at the concept of anyone finding the Tour de France interesting at all, let alone on TV.

One can understand why les citoyens français might want to venture outside and watch the competitors cycle past their town. I mean, when the riots were on last weekend, it would have been sensible to get away from an urban conurbation for a while while simultaneously getting a lungful or two of air not rich in kerosene. But sitting there in front of the TV for hours on end watching a load of lycra-clad lads pedalling away when they all look the bloody same – why? WHY? It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again in two weeks time on Friday 11 August 2023. Be good x

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