Rishi Sunak has completed his second week as PM. It is confusing trying to keep up, and perhaps he should be referred to in terms of his predecessors to put everything in context, like Elkanah in the story of Hannah and Peninah in Samuel 1 that we Jews read on Rosh Hashanah. (It’s a good yarn about his wives childless Hannah and Peninah who has children and taunts Hannah about it). It begins ‘There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite’. So Sunak should be Rishi the successor of Liz, the successor of Boris, the successor of Theresa, the Successor of David, a Chipping Nortonite. Anyway, Rishi is shaping up to be every bit as bad as his predecessors. In Prime Minister’s Questions this week, he answered every question from Keir Starmer with ‘Jeremy Corbyn’. As in ‘If the asylum system is broken who broke it?’ ‘Jeremy Corbyn’. ‘Why hasn’t the Prime Minister sacked Cruella de Braverman yet?’ ‘Jeremy Corbyn’. ‘What did the Prime Minister have for breakfast this morning?’ ‘Jeremy Corbyn’. You get the picture. Meanwhile hapless Ministers are forced to undergo the auto da fe that is the round of political media interviews in the morning, and to explain, not that they can, why something the Prime Minister said last week is inoperative this week. This is the ministerial equivalent of eating a kangaroo’s testicle on ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’. If you want to win the prize, get munching.
Which brings us to former Health Secretary, Matt Hancock. Having presided over the disastrous shambles that was the Johnson government’s handling of the covid crisis in 2020-2021, Hancock was captured on CCTV at work snogging his ‘adviser’ Gina Coladangelo at a time when he was advising the rest of us to stay within our family group and keep our viruses to ourselves. Hancock resigned, ditched Mrs Hancock and the little Hancocks and set up home with Coladangelo, waiting for the call to return to ministerial office. There he was loitering on the steps of Conservative Central Office when the new Leader arrived in triumph, pressing forward with other wannabes and sycophants to touch the hem of his garment. Sadly for Hancock, the Premier in waiting ignored him. His political prospects having hit the buffers, Hancock announced this week that he was off to join the cast of I’m a Celeb in Australia for some £350,000, about four times his MP’s salary. Seeing that he is unlikely to be of much use to his constituents whilst he is hob-nobbing with Boy George and titsy soap stars various, he has had the whip suspended. If proof were required of Hancock’s idiocy this is it. Anyone who hates him, which is just about everyone, will be jamming the phone lines to vote for him to do the ghastly Bushtucker trials, nibbling the aforementioned kangaroo bits, dipping his head into buckets of creepy crawlies and probably sticking some spiny creature up his arse in a bid to earn rations for his campmates. But is that worse than Environment Minister Mark Spencer MP having to explain to a sceptical public how Sunak’s decision to go to COP27 after all tallied with Therese Coffey’s comments last week that it was ‘just a gathering of people in Egypt?’ Or Robert Jenrick, the Immigration Minister, squirming to distance himself from the comments of his boss Cruella who had described the arrival of migrants as an ‘invasion’? Maybe eating raw kangaroo cock is not so bad. And much better paid.
We start our review of the week’s comedy clothing with actor Lupita N’yongo wearing at the premiere of Wakanda Forever wearing Balmain.
This is a tit bandage and a skirt that is, in essence, a shark’s teeth minge moment. Last week, WTF aficionado Quixote made an excellent point about actor. Muriel Hernandez, whose minge was about to make an imminent appearance. ‘I keep having this issue: the mingetastic-type clothes. How do they work? I mean what happens if, say, you want to move? …Inquiring minds want to know’. And it is a good question. Once you move off the X marking the spot to have your photo taken, how do you keep your minge from being on show to the world? It is indeed a puzzle.
Next up, we have actor and influencer Addison Rae wearing who even knows what this is? Scroll down slowly…….
This would have to improve just to be ugly, and it comes with some very disturbing minge detailing. Addison also seems to have been rolling in mud. Perhaps her outfit is some sort of homage to Sylvester Stallone as Rambo…..
Time for some real Z listers. WTF refers to singer and influencer Michelle McKenna and her partner, actor Daniel Johnson, at the London premiere of The Last Heist. She is wearing Pretty Little Thing.
Michelle is flashing her panties, which is just boring, but the chief disapprobation is reserved for Daniel’s trousers. Are they actually supposed to look like that? Have his calves swollen up? He looks like a Victorian soldier in plimsolls.
Next up, we have singer Rihanna making an appearance for the second week running, wearing something or other at the launch of her Savage x Fenty fashion line.
This is as uncomfortable as it is unflattering and comes with an unfathomable leather minge waterfall. If Riri is (unreasonably) worried about the baby weight, why not wear something else? Preferably with an actual skirt?
Now we meet actor Lee Page looking ridiculous.
From the waist up, he looks like David Beckham. From the waist down, he looks like David Beckham having been savaged by a large mastiff and lucky to retain possession of his goolies. The expression of the woman in the sunglasses says it all.
To the Wall Street Journal Innovator Awards where we encounter model Kate Moss wearing YSL.
If an olive went to a fancy dress party as a lingerie model, this is what it would look like. Meanwhile, something very odd is occurring around Kate’s belly button, but what could it be?
Who says the Germans do not have a sense of humour? They do. It is just very very, sick. Why is the worm giving the fisherman a blow job with its tail? What the actual fuck?
This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Ayesha from Stepney, who is sick to the back teeth of cheeky chappies Ant and Dec. And WTF is in full agreement.
Not content with inflicting pain on their ‘celebrities’ in the Jungle, where they smugly preside over kangaroo fellating activities by others, they also are responsible for a Santander campaign to prevent scamming which is about as funny as a barbed wire enema. WTF will only be happy when these two little shites are forced to nibble on a kangaroo’s testicle live on TV – while it is still attached to the kangaroo. They’ve Got to Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those top- suggestions for It’s Got To Go coming in and your excellent comments. Let us meet again next Friday for the last blog until 23 December as WTF is taking time off and travelling abroad. Be good x
First class, again, comments and selection of horrors hits the right note, thanks for sharing, it’s my weekly eye-stretch.