It is WTF’s tenth birthday and it has been one hell of a ride. Over the past decade, the clothes have got sillier and the world has got worse. Since 2012, we have gone through Brexit and Trump and Boris Johnson, Covid and Ukraine. Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq have all fallen into chaos. Innocent citizens have been murderously attacked on London and Westminster Bridges. And now comes another assault on liberty in the unsavoury shape of a leaked draft judgment from the US Supreme Court preparing to overturn Roe v Wade, the case which almost fifty years ago established the right for women to terminate their pregnancies safely in a clinic and avoid the fates of those women who in the past were forced to resort to backstreet abortions and who either died or came damn close.
Given the makeup of the court, with its majority of right wing, religious fanatics, it was hardly surprising that it seized upon the chance to hold that Roe was not only not settled law but was bad law. It is one of the ironies of politics that Donald Trump, who has fathered five children by three different wives, a licentious, irresponsible, self-righteous ball of orange blubber, should have come to power on the back of the Christian vote and the promise that if they were to support him, he would ensure the end of Roe. Anyone with one functioning brain cell could see that his three appointees, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barratt, were selected to kill off Roe. Sadly for American womanhood, Senator Susan Collins from Maine and Senator Lisa Murkowski from Alaska, both supporters of the right to choose, were off school with a note from their mothers on the day they were due to learn about common sense and judgement of character. And so it was that both of them accepted the assurances from candidates that they would not disturb Roe. But then it was Senator Collins who, after much handwringing, voted to acquit Trump on the first impeachment on the grounds that he had ‘learned his lesson’. (To be fair, she and Murkowski did vote to impeach second time round). Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Or as Lady Bracknell might have said, to accept assurances from one fanatical Christian right wing Donald Trump judicial nominee is a misfortune; twice looks like carelessness. Senators Collins and Murkowski are now expressing astonishment that they might not have been told the truth. In other news, bears shit in the woods.
In a month or two, when the final judgment is handed down, the Supreme Court will turn America into Gilead, where twenty or more Republican states, in a horrifying version of life imitating art, will force women to bear children they do not want, in many cases even if they are pregnant as a result of rape or incest, unless they are able to find the money to travel to a Democrat state or are willing to risk the backstreet abortionists. What is next for the chop? Do you think this lot will just stop here? Do you think that they will long tolerate gay marriage and gay adoption? Senators Murkowski and Collins, take a bow and then go and stand in the corner with your dunce’s hats…
On this birthday, it is more than fitting that we have a mega-bumper-deluxe-super-special selection of sartorial shite from the 2022 Met Gala in New York, where the theme – not often adhered to – was the Gilded Age. We startwith celebritee Kourtney Kardashian and new husband musician Travis Barker arriving at an afterparty. She is wearing Thom Browne.
Having bra kkups is all well and good but the point of a bra kkup is that it is supposed to encase all, or at least a large proportion, of the contents. We can therefore say with some certainty that these kkups are way too small for Kourtney’s squished embonpoint, while the skirt is a Minge Moment waiting to happen. As for Travis, he l0oks like he is ready to shake his maracas in a Benidorm nightclub and he appears to be wearing a lamb chop frill as a teeshirt.
Model and new wifey Nicole Peltz Beckham, wearing Valentino.
Valentino has gone all in on the Lady Penelope pink this season, which is fine, but this dress is objectionable because a) there seems to be a total absence of underwear and b) there is a gaping tit gateway. And those shoes are like kinky horses’ hooves.
Very rich divorcée Wendi Deng Murdoch, wearing Giambattista Valli.
In the past few weeks WTF has brought you parrotcide and muppetcide. This seems to be flamingocide.
Model and actor Evan Mock, wearing Head of State.,
If a butter pat went to a fancy dress party as a medieval pageboy, this is what it would look like.
Actor Louisa Jacobson, wearing Schiaparelli.
WTF loved Louisa (younger daughter of Meryl Streep) in The Gilded Age but she does not love her in this. Whether that is an actual Minge Moment or a virtual one under the waist ruff, it is deeply unnerving and one is looking at a mound of something that should not definitely not be on show. WTF is also worried that Louisa is about to poke someone’s eyes out with all that cornicing on her chest and arms and she looks like a frothy rocket that has just been launched.
Actor Gemma Chan, wearing Louis Vuitton.
This presumably is based on the notion of the structured skirt from The Gilded Age but in this case, Gemma seems to be standing in a large hatbox embroidered with velvet knobbly bits. And she is wearing the sort of bed jacket your nan wore when she retired to bed to ease her bunions and save on the heating bills….
Film producer Franklin Leonard, wearing who can say what this is?
Rather than stand in a hatbox, like Gemma, Franklin is sitting on one…. and gentlemen of that era did not have phones in their pockets. At least, one hopes that it is a phone…..
Celebritee La La Anthony, wearing LaQuan Smith.
She has a jewelled frisbee on her head and is exhibiting a good deal of spilth around the hip area like a burst plum…
Rapper Future (né Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn), wearing Boss.
If only he were Past. The Artful Dodger has lost his trousers. And WTF hates a tattooed leg almost above all things…..
Model Cara Delevigne wearing Dior and her own tits.
You’ve heard of Putting on the Ritz? This is Putting on the Tits.
Actor Tommy Dorfman (she/her), wearing Christopher Kane.
No. NO. Tommy seems to be melting in a sea of peekaboo plastic slime…..
And now two horrors from Burberry. First, rapper Bad Bunny.
More Burberry horror with rapper Nicki Minaj.
If a Hell’s Angel with giant knockers crashed into a pen of black poultry, this is what he/she/they would look like.
Model Kendall Jenner wearing Miu Miu underwear at an after party.
This falls squarely into the category of That’s Not Even Clothes. I mean, why bother? That said, Kendall looks positively overdressed in comparison to fellow model Bella Hadid, wearing Dilara Findikoglu.
Bella had better be careful or she will strangle herself with her own tit harness.
And finally, Swedish self-styled ‘Creative Director’ (nope, me neither) and fashionista Fredrik Robertsson, wearing Iris van Herpen.
Do not adjust your eyeballs…this is not Jared Leto but he is certainly a Jared Leto lookalikey with more than a touch of the late lamented Kenny Everett, going through a metamorphosis from human to bird. Or perhaps from bird to human. It is not easy to tell…. either way, he is showing a great deal of pasty chest like an undercooked Victoria sponge.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. There is no room for It’s Got To Go this week, but do not neglect your excellent suggestions for the coming weeks. And your trenchant comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x