WTF Snouts in the Trough Special

Hallo Readers,

Last week we were treated to the unedifying spectacle of Owen Paterson MP, who, unable to scrape by on an MP’s salary of £81,932 a year plus all the expenses you can think of, trousered another £100,000 a year from two companies in Northern Ireland and was found to have lobbied on behalf of one or other of them no less than a dozen times. The majority of Tory MPs were whipped into voting to get him off the hook, instead setting up a Mickey Mouse tribunal with an inbuilt Tory majority, and were roundly shat upon by their constituents as a result, only to discover the Government had changed its mind after breakfast the following morning. The Prime Minister has declined to apologise for any of this while displaying the cowardice for which he is famous, and was absent from the debate on the debacle on Monday. In the political equivalent of washing his hair, he instead roamed  maskless around the corridors of Hexham Hospital, 300 miles from London, on a visit with no purpose other than dodge the Parliamentary flak. Hapless agriculture secretary George Eustace, sent out to defend his beleaguered boss, claimed it was all a storm in a Westminster teacup, like Comical Ali, the man who denied that Baghdad had fallen even as US tanks rolled into view behind him.

There is more. As Gertrude remarked in Hamlet, when sorrows come, they come not single spies but whole battalions. Enter Brian Blessed sound-a-likey, former Attorney-General Sir Geoffrey Cox MP. Sir Geoffrey, a barrister of some repute, has combined his MP’s duties with a very lucrative legal career. Worse still, while everyone was locked indoors as the pandemic raged, Sir Geoffrey was beavering  away in the Caribbean tax haven that is Tortola in the British Virgin Islands, representing allegedly dodgy personages accused of corruption. Not only did he earn nearly £1m in 2020/2021, but he was also voting remotely from his luxury suite overlooking the turquoise blue waters. It is not unreasonable to suppose that his constituents were unlikely to have received much of his time and attention during this period, but Sir Geoffrey denies any wrongdoing, despite being out of the country for weeks on end and spending 40+ hours a week on his legal practice.

Meanwhile in a yet further example of the contempt in which this Government holds the electorate, Johnson and Co are determined to appoint Paul Dacre, former editor of the Daily Mail,  to head broadcasting regulator Ofcom. Dacre hates the BBC with a passion. Giving him the job would be like putting Oswald Mosley in charge of Yorkshire County Cricket Club. Dacre was duly interviewed and adjudged to be ‘unappointable’  but was this Government deterred? It was not. Just as it sought to change the rules for maintaining Parliamentary standards, leading to the colossal cockup last week, it has rewritten the job description to accommodate Dacre’s feral personality and trenchant political views. It is to be hoped that this effort will also flounder but it is clear that when this lot come up against a brick wall, they do not go round it, but try to demolish it. And they will continue in this vein as long as they think they can get away with it.


We start our survey of the week’s sartorial sluice with actor Kristen Stewart, seen here with singer Joan Jett. Joan looks fine. Kristen is sort of wearing DSquared.

This falls into the category of  ‘that is not even clothes’. Not even at all. And the hair is atrocious. It is as if a puppy is snoozing on her head.

To the Country Music Awards in Nashville with singer Carrie Underwood wearing Jean-Louis Sabaji. 

Good Lord. Has a raptor flown into a pile of Christmas tree decorations?

Next we happen upon actor Precious Lee at some fashion bash in Qatar, wearing Halpern.

Whoever put Precious into these Victorian drapes was not her friend. She looks like the set of a dramatisation of Barchester Towers.

He’s back! Yes, its actor Jared Leto out and about in London wearing – of course – Gucci.

This is on any view a perfectly ridiculous garment,  a Gucci tea cosy over a Gucci rugby shirt. 

However, WTF confesses to some fondness for the toning wooly hat.

We now visit the Los Angeles Center of Modern Art where actor Elle Fanning is wearing Gucci at an Art & Film bash hosted by, er, Gucci.

WTF is so tired of sheer nonsense, particularly when it comes with genitalia curtains and an Oscar Wilde flower, but she reserves particular disdain for  the black tit pads which resemble a burglar peering out from behind a black net curtain.

Here is singer Ciara wearing Baba Jayne x Kollun Carter at an event in LA honouring her mate Missy Elliott.

Where to start? First, this is a bit in-yer-face as a supporting act to her friend, and she may find herself off Missy’s Christmas Card list. Second, why is she dressed as Venus the Mutant Ninja Turtle? Third, what is occurring around the ankle department? And fourth, how does she pee?

We are now at an amFAR gala in Los Angeles with Moschino designer Jeremy Scott, a long term WTF offender, and singer Anitta, both wearing Jeremy Scott.

Jeremy is 46. Anitta is 28. They are both too old for this Beatrix Potter whimsical shit.

And finally, we are at the CFDA Awards 2021 in New York with rapper Kid Cudi, wearing ERM.

Yurgle. Are those pantaloons?  With lace trainers? If Kid Cudi went to the Costume Designer Fashion Awards as Ms Haversham, this is what he would look like. Oh, hang on….

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne Ridley in Jedburgh. She may live in Scotland now but, as a Geordie, she was utterly appalled by the gruesome sight of Prime Minister Boris  Johnson, complete with visible nipples and stupid hair,  spreading his viral load around Hexham Hospital while not wearing a mask. 

So he tucks his tie in but his mouth and nose are uncovered? What a total moron. Yvonne sums it up very neatly and WTF need only repeat her words verbatim. ‘No mask, no awareness- the emotional intelligence of a brick …’ Agreed.  It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Send in your suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your very top comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x.


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1 Response to WTF Snouts in the Trough Special

  1. JoyceW says:

    Returning to the UK and having to take a test by Day 2 of my arrival
    … the policy of requiring a test AFTER arrival is incomprehensible until you join the dots and see the channelling of funds to UK companies… this policy seems to be based on funnelling money to those companies fortunate enough to receive a government contract with or without an open tender!

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