WTF Emperor’s New Clothes Special

Hallo Readers

You would think that being a veteran and having fought in I-raq would be the quintessence of the flag-waving, Trump-loving, law-and-order-insisting MAGATs’ beliefs, not to mention donning the policeman’s uniform to hold the line against the unruly mob. But Readers, you would  be so wrong, as wrong as wrong can be. Not when the unruly mob is made up of the self-same, flag-waving, Trump-loving, law-and-order-insisting,MAGATs, so the values demonstrated by the policemen on duty on 6 January at the Capitol count for zero. And so it is that when four police officers gave their evidence to the House Committee on Tuesday this week enquiring into what happened on January 6 and why, and described how they were beaten with flagpoles and clubs, covered with pepper spray which burned into their skin, repeatedly tasered, with people trying to gouge out their eyes and crushing them into doorframes, the reaction of the MAGATs was not to throw up their hands in horror, giving thanks to the bravery of the men protecting the Centre of their Government. Instead, the MAGATS called them liars and ‘crisis actors’ and they were mocked on Fox News for their Oscar-worthy performances. One officer  who recounted how he was called ‘a fucking ni**er’, was challenged to produce the evidence, as if a crowd capable of the violence we all saw would somehow demur at using racial epithets and insults. Another officer, who had a heart attack following repeatedly being tasered, got a voice message on his phone calling him a liar, ‘a fucking pussy’ and ‘a faggot’. Because in post-Trump America, even what you see for yourself is not true if it in any way casts doubt  on the integrity of the former President and those who support him, no matter the price. Which is why most GOP congressmen and senators stayed silent when Trump described the crowd as ‘loving’ who were ‘hugging and kissing’ the policemen, the same crowd which erected a gallows outside the Capitol and roamed the building shouting ‘Hang Mike Pence’, just as they stayed silent at his repeated lie that the Presidential election was stolen from him, and are threatening to take disciplinary action against the two congressmen who are actually participating in a committee to find out exactly what happened on that day.

Meanwhile, last week,  Dawn Butler MP rose to her feet in the House of Commons and said what any sentient being with a braincell knew to be true – namely that Boris  Johnson was a liar. This is a breach of Parliamentary protocol and she was invited to withdraw it by the deputy Speaker.  Butler noted, as indeed was the case, that it is strange that the person who lies repeatedly in Parliament incurs no sanction, whereas the person pointing out that the liar is lying is sanctioned and expelled. And if that is not a perfect metaphor for our current political situation both here and across the Atlantic, WTF does not know what is. Do not believe that you see or hear, even when you see or hear it. Accept an explanation you know to be false or, if you challenge the falsity, be prepared  to be subjected to abuse and obloquy. Because the issue is not whether you know that the Emperor is not wearing new clothes but whether you have the guts to point out that he is not.

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We start our review of the week’s wanky wear with celebritee DJ Chantel Jeffries, wearing who knows what.

This is the lovechild of a zebra and a barber’s pole.  And something very unpleasant is happening around the minge area.

Next we have celebritee presenter Maya Jama, wearing Azzi & Osta.

WTF does not even know what this is supposed to be. It appears to be a khaki straitjacket with a generous helping of tits bubbling over the top like overcooked soufflés.

Next up we have model Hailey Baldwin Bieber wearing Alessandra Rich, accompanied by husband Justin Bieber. 

It is very rare to spot either Hayley or Justin in full outfits, so try and treasure this moment. This is the quintessential example of genitalia curtains and presumably Justin is holding on to her hips to prevent an imminent minge moment. 

Next up, we have singer Travis Scott wearing some very silly jeans.

It appears that Travis has slid his hips into a denim tent. Travis is currently squiring Kylie Jenner, and frankly he could get the entire Kardashian/Jenner clan into a single trouser leg

Here is rapper Megan Thee Stallion, wearing Natalia Fedner.

Megan  is wearing a bicycle chain as a dress. Go figure…..

This is influencer Tana Mongeau out and about.

If a camel went to a fancy dress party as a carrot in a baby-grow, this is what it would look like. There is serious camel-toe on show, and this falls squarely into the category of Call for the Canesten.

 

 

More ghastliness on celebritee Eve Gale, wearing not enough.

She’s wearing a cobweb. That is all.

And finally here is model Lottie Moss wearing I do not know what…..

WTF cannot see the point of Lottie Moss who, were she not Kate Moss’s half  sister,  would probably be a cashier at Aldi. What is the point of her? Anyway, here she is wearing lacy fisherman’s waders and a vest and looking entirely ridiculous. Get her off. The end……

 

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF who is sick of bloated male lard-buckets like Piers Morgan (actually you could stop the paragraph right there) who have spent the week slagging off gymnast Simone Biles for having the temerity to withdraw from Olympic competition because of concerns for her mental health.

Simone is experiencing what gymnasts called ‘the twists’, where you suddenly find yourself hanging in mid air without a clue how you got there or how you are going to get down again. But according to lard-buckets various. she should just get on it with it, even when getting on with it involves doing somersaults on tiny pieces of equipment with the risk of breaking your neck. This coming from people who probably get a stitch doing up their shoelaces. They can fuck right off. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Send in your suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Gonot to mention your very top comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x.

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5 Responses to WTF Emperor’s New Clothes Special

  1. Joyce says:

    Loved the commentary !! Morgan couldn’t even get up on the balance beam – let alone balance on it – his double chin weighing him down. A true snowflake who walked out of his TV show when challenged over his nastiness!

  2. vintagestarparis
    vintagestarparis says:

    Just to set the record straight – and this does not mean that I don’t agree with your assessment – Chantel Jeffries is wearing Jean Paul Gaultier’s updated print from his cult Cyberbaba collection. X

  3. quixote
    quixote says:

    About twists. I do yoga (poorly) so I sometimes find myself being told to stand on one leg. In the beginning, I was surprised at how I’d lost the capacity to know where various limbs were and which muscles to use to stay upright. Proprioception, they told me. You have to relearn it, they told me. Well, I’ve relearned some. I can stand on one leg most of the time. But, and this is the point, it’s way more difficult when I’m upset about something.

    I’d always assumed that Biles’ ability to fly through the air was some superpower that had nothing to do with me. But after the twisties were described, I thought “I’ve felt that! I know what they mean!”

    Everybody who’s ever tried to balance knows the feeling. Where most of us differ is that we won’t break our necks if we come down wrong.

    Thank everything that Biles had the strength of character to say, “I’m not breaking my neck for you.” Before I just admired her. Now I really think she’s the greatest.

  4. Lottie says:

    I saw that bit about the copper who was asked to provide evidence that he had been called a vile racist slur and had a little daydream for a while about how maybe they expect coppers in situations like that to ask the abuser for a receipt. “Thank you for your abuse sir, could I please ask for a receipt for what you just called me”.

    Thank you for making the Lardbucket IGTG this week. The man is a waste of skin and he really seems to have an issue with successful women, especially black women. I think Simone Biles was very brave to be open about why she had to pull out. I saw a message of support from a young gymnast who at the time of her own incident was 14. She had a stress fracture of the tibia and was still up on the beam, jumping and twisting as if nothing was wrong. Only something was wrong and she landed on the top of her head. On the hard wooden beam. She wasn’t given any medical attention at all,she was just shuffled off to do the floor programme. She could have broken her neck. For what? And aged just 14. And as for what the team doctor was up to – thank God for those judges who put him away for ever.

    As for the clothes this week – I see a pattern of not much clothes and too much people. And your one Eve Gale looks as though her shoes are too narrow for her feet and her toes are hanging over the side onto the pavement. Yuk.

    Who are these people and why are they famous?

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