Hallo Readers,
Some bad things have been done in the name of tourism. (Remember tourism?) Every year save f0r 2020, sunny seaside spots in Spain, Cyprus and Greece are overrun with visitors who get horribly drunk, copulate on car bonnets and are rowdy, disrespectful and unmanageable. Stag and hen parties terrorise peaceful citizens in picturesque cities, running amok and having punch-ups on planes. Football fans routinely smash up cafes, pubs and bars and indulge in oik-to-oik combat with rival home supporters. But WTF is struggling to recall any touristic incident in which thousands of feral deplorables storm a nation’s Parliament, smashing in doors and windows to effect entry, attack policemen with flags, attempt to gouge out officers’ eyes, call loudly for the hanging of the country’s Vice-President (having handily erected a set of gallows in front of the building), piss in the corridors and leave billets-doux for prominent politicians indicating that for them, the end is nigh. Oh, and cause, directly or indirectly, the death of four policemen. WTF is also struggling to see how such actions qualify as tourism, as opposed to bloody insurrection, sedition and domestic terrorism.
But apparently, WTF is wrong. As wrong as wrong can be. One of the GOP’s finest, Rep. Andrew Clyde of Georgia, said on Wednesday that the events of January 6 in Washington were merely ‘acts of vandalism’ and that it was a ‘boldfaced lie‘ to call what happened that day an ‘insurrection’. He told a Congressional Committee enquiring into where the armed forces were on that day, ‘Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol and walked through Statuary Hall showed people in an orderly fashion staying between the stanchions and ropes, taking videos, pictures… You know, if you didn’t know the TV footage was a video from 6 January, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.’
No, actually, Rep. Clyde, you would not think that unless you were either a complete moron or someone who has broken his oath of office and whose only interest has been distilled into telling lies on behalf of the Former Guy.
Not that Rep. Clyde is alone in his beliefs. Rep. Paul Gosar of Arizona told the same hearing ‘Outright propaganda and lies are being used to unleash the national security state against law-abiding U.S. citizens, especially Trump voters’ and Rep. Ralph Norman of South Carolina dismissed the absurd notion that the men and women wreaking havoc that day were Trump supporters, despite the fact that they wore MAGA hats, chanted his name, carried flags with his face on it and were described by the man himself as ‘great patriots’ and told ‘we love you – you’re very special’.
And so yesterday was another terrible day for truth. Not only did the House Republicans remove out their third in command because she refused to peddle the Big Lie that the US election had been stolen; but some of them then used their roles on a House Committee enquiring into the insurrection to gaslight the nation by denying that it was an insurrection and to deny what everyone saw and heard on that day. Apparently, this was not attempted murder and mayhem, and a coup to keep a man in office who lost by seven million votes; this was a self-guided tour of the Capitol with optional extras of lynching, assault, battery, criminal damage and theft. And the worst thing of all – people all across the US believe that it is true.
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We start the survey of the the week’s clothing clunkers with singer Miley Cyrus on Saturday Night Live, wearing Schiaparelli.
Deary me. Madonna was giving us conical bras decades ago, but Schiaparelli has gone further still. Doubtless, after the shirt has fallen foul of a coffee stain or yellowed or whatever, you can cut it up and use it as nippled placemats. Disturbing.
Next up, we have singer Rosalía wearing Oresund Iris. Brace yourselves.
There is obviously some sort of post-Covid thrift going on. First we have a shirt with built-in nippled placemats, and now we have a straitjacket doubling as a corset. And since this excrescence costs £588, you would be in need of one for being mad enough to pay that much.
And now we have megastar Beyoncé posing on Instagram wearing KNWLS.
KNWLS stands for Charlotte Knowles, a young English designer, and not Beyoncé Knowles. WTF has seen some daft outfits in her time, and this one is right up there, reminiscent of those photographs of celebritees stark naked with their body painted…..
Now we are off to the Brit Awards on London where appallingness was in great abundance. First up is singer Harry Styles wearing Gucci (of course he is).
WTF has some admiration for the jacket, but not when worn with those ghastly bellbottom trousers and the stupid handbag. The whole thing is very 1970’s front room, and that is not a compliment.
Singer Dua Lipa, wearing Vivienne Westwood.
Sigh. WTF loves Dame Viv’s creations and she loves this one as far as it goes. The problem is that it does not go far enough, i.e. it is an imminent Minge Moment, she is flashing her suspenders and she looks likes something out of a Toulouse-Lautrec drawing.
Actor and singer Billy Porter, wearing threeASFOUR.
Do you think he owns a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt? It is getting boring now. Those boots are made for walking …..to the trashcan. The handbag is only suitable for a two year old girl. Billy is not Audrey Hepburn and threeASFOUR is certainly not Hubert Givenchy.
Singer Olly Alexander from Years and Years wearing Gucci.
Olly did a fabulous duet with Elton John, singing It’s a Sin with great panache. But even so, it was not enough to keep him out of this blog because this nonsense is not to be borne, from the blue shirt thingy to the S&M harness to the dead birdies on his arms and the overall impression of an uber-gay Puck in an avant-garde production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
More fluffiness, this time on singer Celeste, wearing Ashley Williams.
If a baby raven went to a fancy dress party as a ballerina, this is what it would look like.
And finally, singer and musician MNEK (né Uzoechi Osisioma Emenike) wearing Robert Wun.
And before you ask, WTF would have disliked the outfit had it been worn by Celeste or Dua Lipa. How did he walk in those trewsies without going arse over tit? What the hell has he got on? And why is he wearing a pleated valance WITH A MATCHING HANDBAG?
This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Ben from Bromley, who brought this foul thing to WTF’s attention. Once again, brace yourselves….
This shocker comes from a company called Dark-isawesome.com and costs a massive $49. Ben came across it on Facebook and contacted WTF to ask (hopefully tongue-in-cheek) whether she thought it would be a good present for his wife. WTF counselled against. Its’s horrendous. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Let us meet again next Friday. And keep those splendid suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.
Nice that there are now conical bras for the flat chested. What is going on with MNEKs legs? Are they very short? Is he crouching? Very strange.