WTF is so old that she remembers a time when politicians told you the truth. Or if they did not tell you the truth, and then were found not to have told you the truth, they had to go. Sometimes, they had to resign. But that was then, and this is now. And now, politicians lie to you, you know they are lying to you, and you don’t care if they are lying to you or not, because you voted for them, and so whatever they say is OK, even if it turns out to be bollocks, which it is always does. They may be liars, but they are your liars. And that is all that matters.
This week was a good example of the new double act of Dumb and Dumber, those lovable blond bombshells, Boris and Trumpy. As Betty Hutton and Howard Keel nearly sang in Annie Get your Gun, had the movie been set in the twenty-first century ‘Any lie you can tell, I can tell better, I can tell any lie better than you’. So when Dumb told us for years that there would be no need for customs checks at the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, that was not a lie because the checks won’t be on the actual border, they will be down the road from the border, that is, if anyone can actually find the border, given that it winds about a bit, rather like Dumb himself. Never mind that the pound is plummeting after the Irish Government gave the plan the finger. Let’s Get Brexit Done! Let’s Brim with Confidence!
At least he still appears to be in possession of his marbles, which is more than you can say for Dumber, who becomes more unhinged with every day that passes. Having roundly denied that he demanded Ukraine to dig up the dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter, and accused the whistleblower who reported this as a ‘liar’, a ‘spy’, and someone guilty of ‘treason’ (even though his own record of the conversation showed him doing exactly that), he then stood on the South Lawn of the White House, eyes whirring more fiercely than the blades of his waiting helicopter, and demanded that Ukraine dig up the dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter. And then suggested that President Yi of China should do the same. But then truth and Trumpy have long since parted company. The lies get bigger and bolder and more and more bizarre, and it seems that the GOP simply do not give a toss.
There is at least one difference between Dumb and Dumber. Dumb knows he is lying, he just does not care. He never has. Dumber however is so far down the rabbit hole that he now believes that once it is out of his mouth, it has to be true, leaving it to his minions to explain away whatever he said, even though they can’t. And so we and our American cousins hurtle towards a future on the whim of two proven liars who don’t care what they say, or what they do, as long as they stay in power. Our only consolation this side of the Pond is that at least we didn’t actually elect Dumb……
We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam with German actress Zazie Beetz at the premiere of her new movie The Joker, wearing Christopher Kane.
Everywhere there is droopage, fussiness and threatened Minge Moments. It looks like a chainmail nightie. Even Joan of Arc didn’t wear a chainmail nightie and she was weird.
This is singer John Legend looking very, er, lavender.
Yikes! Those trousers can best be described as ‘snug’. Either John has the entire contents of his sock drawer down there, or he has volunteered to carry his babies’ nappies around in his crotch to save wife Chrissy Teigen the trouble of schlepping them in a tote bag. Whichever it is, the results are unfortunate. The jacket is no better.
The rest of our sartorial selection come from Paris and Milan Fashion Weeks, starting in Paris with young actress Chloë Grace Moretz ,wearing Louis Vuitton.
Vuitton is becoming ever more ridiculous, particularly the floral shirt under the dirndl breastplate, like a flowery Grey Worm from Game of Thrones about to yomp into Port Stanley in big boots.
And talking of ridiculous, here is Louis Vuitton muse, actress Jennifer Connelly.
There is a lot going on here, and none of it good. That turquoise faux-velvet thing looks like the bed-jacket worn by the Big Bad Wolf when pretending to be an old granny. Jennifer may be smiling but you can see the pain behind her eyes.
Now we meet actor and model Patrick Schwarzenegger son of Arnie, wearing something truly horrible by Fenty Savage.
This is proof, were proof required, which it was not, that it does not matter how handsome you are and whether your dad is a superstar and your mum is member of the Kennedy clan. No one, not even anyone at all, can look good in raspberry velour, particularly when the trousers are in a Mexican standoff with their ankles. He looks like an embarrassed raspberry ice lolly.
And in news to nobody, here is Rita Ora, wearing not much.
There is side-boob and there is boob-boob. Guess which one this is? Hate the tattoos. Hate the boots. Hate the flash of panties. Hate the whole thing. Bigly.
Now we have rapper A$AP Rocky, fresh from his sojourn in a Swedish jail for beating the shit out of some Afghan migrant, and wearing Gucci.
There was WTF ranting on about John Legend’s snug trousers and here is A$AP wearing trewsies big enough to smuggle out the whole of C wing of the Stockholm Department of Corrections. The dropped crotch is unnerving. If Rocky went to a fancy dress party dressed as Annie Hall, this is what he would look like.
And finally, here is rapper Cardi B wearing Richard Quinn. Do not adjust your eyeballs…..
WTF does not mind a touch of floral, but there is verdant and there is nuts. And this is nuts, sort of Extinction Rebellion meets Mrs Doubtfire.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yosra who sent in these ridiculous items courtesy of @benjancewicz.
Underpants for your hands? Why do your hands need underpants? They would be as much use as a chocolate teapot. What’s next? Bonnets for your knees? According to Amazon, which sells this dreck for £11 11, they have hundreds of uses. Like what? It doesn’t even bear thinking about. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Put a smile on WTF’s face by keeping those comments rolling in, as well as your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x