WTF’s dad used to tell a joke about a man driving around rural Ireland, hopelessly lost. Eventually, he sees a farmer leaning on his fence and stops the car. “Excuse me”, he says, “I’m trying to get to Dublin. Which is the way?” The farmer scratches his head and then replies “If I were you, I wouldn’t start from here”. And that is exactly the problem with Brexit. You wouldn’t start from here. Here is the political equivalent of being lost in the middle of fields in the middle of nowhere. Here is MPs who believe passionately in the EU, MPs who fought the last election in favour of staying in the EU, tramping through the lobby in favour of its abandonment. Here is the Leader of the Labour Party, purportedly pro-EU, imposing a three-line whip on his MPs to trigger Article 50 and the irrevocable process of leaving. And imposing another three-line whip so that no-one could even seek to amend the bill. Corbyn, the same man who defied the party whip 500 times. Yes, him. Here is Corbyn having handed the whole damn Brexit thing to Theresa May, and then tweeting
Which is not just locking the stable door after the horse has bolted but burning down the stables and putting your riding clothes on eBay. What is he planning to fight about? As Nicola Sturgeon rightly pointed out “How? You’ve just handed the Tories a blank cheque. You didn’t win a single concession but still voted for the Bill. Pathetic”. Quite. WTF accepts – reluctantly as hell, but she accepts – that Brexit will now happen. For some reason, a vote which was not binding, which was not expressed in the Referendum Act to be binding, has been accepted as mandatory. But to allow the bill to proceed without challenge, MPs traipsing through the lobbies like nodding doggies, is nothing short of an abrogation of their duties. Their duty is to question, is to challenge, is to scrutinise. And they are not to going to do it. This isn’t getting our country back because this is not the way our country operated. No wonder the repulsive David Davies planted a kiss on Diane Abbott after she caved in and voted as Corbyn told her. It wasn’t done out of affection, or gratitude, it was done out of triumphalism. And no wonder she told him to fuck off. He was damn lucky she didn’t smack him one. And then shop him to the cops for sexual assault. Has David been taking lessons in behaviour to women from Donald Trump?
Do we want MPs to do what they think is right or what they are told? And by whom should they be told? By their electorate? By their Party Leader? Do they just chuck their conscience out of the window? Should they vote to re-introduce hanging? The majority of the country would probably go for that too. If we want robots, put robots in to vote and let’s save ourselves the salary and expenses for 600-odd MPs. Actually, we might get more sense out of robots….
We start the survey of the week’s sartorial sluice with UKIP candidate Paul Nuttall, out campaigning in Stoke-on-Trent.
As explained last week, PC Plod is currently investigating the fact that Nuttall lived in Bootle but claimed to live in Stoke on his candidacy form, even though he had never even seen the place. If convicted, he could go inside. Frankly he would be better dressed in prison overalls than in this appalling ensemble, comprising a hideous check tweed cap and coat like a bookie’s runner and a UKIP tie and rosette combo, objectionable both politically and aesthetically. For that alone, never mind possible breaches of election law, he deserves incarceration.
To New York Fashion Week where nonsense abounded, mostly on the men. This is Beyonce’s stylist Ty Hunter at the Elle Party.
If Ty was responsible for putting Bey into that purple silk bra and blue panties for her pregnancy announcement picture, he should join Paul in a cell with no possibility of parole. This Come-To-The-Clown’s-Casbah outfit is further proof of the criminal offence of attacking the public’s eyeballs.
Also looking like a sack of shit was NFL footballer Stefon Diggs at the Robert Geller show.
He’s wearing a top composed from off-cuts and those jeans, although handily ventilated for a hot day, are a whole It’s Got To Go on their own. Something seems to have gone awry around the ankles…
And now a trio of rubbish in our Sheer Tedium section, starting with actress Kristen Stewart hosting Saturday Night Live whilst wearing Spanx. Yes, really…..
One would not have thought Kristen required the Spanx slip but the Spanx slip requires more than a net skirt over it. And what’s with the leather demarcation of the minge area?
Next up, singer Halsey wearing Sophie Theallet at the premiere of Fifty Shades Darker of Filth.
It is actually is a dress, not a playsuit and patterned tights, and it can safely be said that it is rather small around the tits. To the power of n. As for the choker, is it a prop from the movie?
Third and equally horrible is this John Galliano dress on singer Noah Cyrus, sister of Miley.
She is 17! Why is she dressed like that? To quote from one of WTF’s favourite films, Tin Men, there is definitely some sort of sickness that runs in that family. In this case, a genetic predisposition to flash your bits in public. Let us hope that medical science soon makes a breakthrough….
It is bad enough to have to put up with the drivel of Fifty Shades of Filth and its endless sequels without having all these terrible clothes foisted on us at the same time. Like rapper Tameka Cottle, aka Tiny, wearing who knows what.
Tiny is going through a sticky patch in her marriage but that is no excuse for going out and about dressed in an inkblot and a blue condom and more inkblots on her feet. Although the top inkblot appears to be covering inked boobies, which are even worse than the inkblot.
And finally we have Laura Govan, “star” of something called Basketball Wives LA (me neither) and ex of player Gilbert Arenas, by whom she has four children. This outfit, by Azzi & Osta, is as silly as anything you will ever see.
The back view is even worse.
This week’s It’s Got To Go is David Beckham. Leaked emails have shown that David might not be quite as nice as he seems. WTF is not bothered about his use of the c-word about those who denied him a knighthood. Looking at the collection of arse-lickers, political timeservers and businesspersons on the make, you can forgive David for his irritation that Philip Green has one and he doesn’t. More worrying is his exhorting others to cough up for charities whilst declining to put his hand in his own pocket, the demand that UNICEF reimburse him £6,685 for an airfare when he had got a ride on a private plane instead and his avoidance of paying tax to the country whose football team he once captained. He and his annoying wife and annoying children have all Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those top comments coming in, as they keep WTF cheery, as well as your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x