wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

My apologies for the premature publications of this week’s blog. WTF is travelling abroad in several different timezones and got her dates mixed up. But then who can blame anyone for feelings of confusion at this particular time?

There is the old adage that when you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas. And politically speaking, Peter Mandelson is as flea-ridden a canine as you can find. The problem with the soon-to-be-former my Lord is that he never met a millionaire whom he did not like or an opportunity to scrounge that he viewed as unacceptable. Free holidays? Yes please. Loans, or were they gifts, with no questions asked? Yes please. Any sort of high life opportunity offered by every sort of lowlife? Yes please. There was no chance that Mandelson was going to pass up on the largesse offered by Jeffrey Epstein and he did not do so. Rather, he gobbled it down as fast as he could get it. Sadly, it never seems to have occurred to him that there might be any form of problem in doing so, but then Mandelson is not a man prone to self doubt.  Of course, this is not Mandelson’s  first rodeo; he has ridden the Bucking Bronco of disastrous choices for decades. Undeclared loans from a fellow MP to acquire an expensive property clearly beyond his means led to his first resignation from the cabinet. Improperly intervening in the passport applications for a couple of Indian billionaires led to his second resignation, after he had, unfathomably, been given a second chance by his mate Tony Blair. It was during these years that Mandelson seems to have received £75,000 from Epstein, although he loftily dismissed the allegation and said he could not remember it. How many of us would forget receiving £75,000 from a mate? For that matter, how many of us have a mate willing to hand over £75,000? To be frank, WTF would rather like to make such acquaintance. Even her really rich friends have never made her this offer. Be that howsoever it may be, it is now said that during his time as a cabinet minister, Mandelson passed price sensitive information to Epstein after the 2008 crash. Police are investigating. 

But even without the recent revelations in the Epstein files, anyone with an ounce of common sense would have hesitated before appointing Mandelson to any form of government job, and would have kept on hesitating. But not the dynamic duo of Keir Starmer and his enthusiastic Boy Robin, Morgan McSweeney. There is a character in Chekov whose nickname was “two and twenty misfortunes’. McSweeney went past two and twenty misfortunes in about the third week of his appointment. On any 50-50 call, McSweeney will go the wrong way as a matter of course. Starmer now says that Mandelson lied to him about the extent of his involvement with Epstein, both before and after Epstein’s first and second arrests for paedophile offences. WTF has no doubt that Mandelson was untruthful. The point is, however, that anyone with any form of brain stem activity should have realised that Mandelson’s word is never his bond. WTF is of the view that this is not the US, where any mate of the President from his golf club, from Fox News, or a multi-million-dollar donor, can be made an ambassador. Here in the UK, we have highly trained diplomats who know what they are doing and why they are doing it. And when dealing with an arsehole such as the current incumbent of the presidency of the United States, someone with proper diplomatic experience and an impeccable background is what you need.

So now we are left with the ridiculous situation where a fundamentally decent man, who has devoted most of his life to public service, is at risk of losing the premiership because of his stupidity in appointing someone who consorted with a paedophile; while the Rancid Kumquat is mentioned 38,000 times in the Epstein files which have been released, and you can bet your bottom dollar that there is a lot which has not been released or has been redacted to death, and yet he continues unabashed in his role. As do several members of his cabinet and other businessman and bigwigs various. Anyone with an ounce of common sense should stay well away from flea-ridden dogs, not pick them up, give them a cuddle and then install them in a posh Washington DC kennel. But, as we have seen time and time again since 2024, Starmer and McSweeney have very little, if any, common sense; and worse, no political nous, not even of any kind.

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 Let us turn to our survey of the week’s grisly garments, which all come from the 68th Grammys in Los Angeles. We start with singer Harry Styles wearing head-to-toe Dior. Dior!

The proportions of this are absurd, But what is really offensive are the shoes, which resemble something out of a Jack and Jill kiddies’ footwear brochure. Harry is 32.

 

Singer Lola Young wearing Vivienne Westwood.

This really is hideous, like a pair of pyjamas designed by someone on a bad acid trip. Dame Vivienne must be rolling in her grave. Lola is 25.

Singer Kesha, wearing Atelier Biser.

Kesha turned up dressed as a Silkie chicken. Probably chlorinated and full of e-numbers.

 

Singer and producer MNEK.

He is wearing a corset, like the Prince Regent.

 

Actor Jamie Foxx. No one has owned up to designing this suit. Good call.

Whoever was responsible for this nonsense obviously plays a lot of Minecraft.

Singer Billie Eilish, wearing Hodakova.

 

Could grown adults please stop dressing as kiddies? In these Epstein-dominated days, it is downright disturbing.  Billie is 24.

 

Model and presenter Heidi Klum wearing Maria Hoermanseder.

Eek!!!!!! Maria molded this monstrosity in leather from Heidi’s body. Heidi says that the colour is meant to mirror her flesh tone, except that it doesn’t. Not even at all. WTF does not know what is the more deplorable – the very emphasised pubic mound or the fake tan foot blotch.  But actually, both are dwarfed by the rear view. Careful now…

Quadruple eek. Faux arsecheeks. Yuk. WTF is indebted to Aficionado Dave from Brighton, who pointed out Heidi’s striking resemblance to a milk chocolate fountain.

 

Finally, singer Chappell Roan wearing Mugler.

It remains unclear whether these are her own tits or faux tits, but whatever type of tits they may be, they should not be on show. WTF hopes that they are indeed not Chappell’s own tits, as it must be painful as hell to use your nipples as curtain hooks.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington, who has had enough, and then a load more enough, of ridiculous plastic doll Katie Price, now on her umpteenth facelift and titlift and teeth whitening, and her new marriage to ‘businessman’ Lee Andrews, after a lengthy romance of, er…a week. There is some reason to believe that Lee may not be the whizzy businessman he claims to be – the Daily Mail alleged that ‘the fantasist who swept Katie Price off her feet while presenting himself as a self-made billionaire is, in reality, a male escort charging wealthy women in Dubai almost £1,000 an hour for ‘massage’ services’. Yurgle. It has also emerged that he was on remand in a Dubai slammer, accused of forging his ex-girlfriend’s signature on a mortgage

This is Katie’s fourth husband. The first, singer Peter André, lasted four years before he left her. Then there was Alex Reid, a cross-dressing cage fighter; that marriage lasted eleven months. Next up was stripper and plasterer (these were two separate jobs, by the way), Kieran Hayler, to whom she was married for eight years. They split up several times after he had extra-marital affairs, including with one of her closest friends. She was engaged for about a month to someone else in 2019. And now Lee. It seems that Katie has trouble finding Mr Right. Maybe she should stop trying. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in comments and your suggestions for It’s Got to Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x