wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

This is the last post of 2025. WTF wishes you a Happy Christmas. But will it be? The President of the US is a mad, narcissist, scumbag without a shred of human decency. The British Government would have to improve 1000% to be ineffectual and has let us down again and again. Racism is rampant. Ukraine is about to be sold down the river. Our trust in politicians is at record lows. We have becone cynical, disillsioned and discontented. Will 2026 be better? If so, how? And who will make it better?

And Happy Chanukah. But is it? The massacre of Jews on Bondi Beach celebrating the festival of lights was met with the predictable “but Gaza”.  “But Gaza”.  You hate what is happening in Gaza, and you know the death is wrong and cruel. But you cannot condemn the death of Jews on a bloody beach celebrating Chanukah? Sorry, but if you cannot condemn it, then fuck you. WTF had a Ukrainain grandfather and hates what is happening in Ukraine. Is she entitled to get in her car, drive to a Russian Orthodox Church, run through the security gates and then get out and stab people at will? No, she is not. Because she is not a pyschopath glorifying a death cult. Because she values human life. But whenever Jews are killed, even when in prayer and celebration, the “but Gaza” mob are out in force, bristling with self-satisfaction and flase equivalence. Sorry, I’m sick of it. Stop following me if you disagree. Humanity is not selective. Meanwhile, Readers, have a very Happy Christmas, a  Happy Chanukah and a Happy New Year, and let us meet again in 2026. When please God it will be better.

Let us move on to the main business of today. WTF refers of course to the fabled Christmas Turkey Poll where 18 celebrities are competing for the coveted title of the WTF Christmas Turkey 2o25. WTF can confidently assert that every one of these particular nominees is more than worthy of nomination with a  guaranteed and disturbing effect on your innards. Remember that they are arranged in first name alphabetical order, denoting no preference whatsoever on WTF’s part. So now it is over to you, dear Readers. All you have to do is to peruse this shocking collection of shite and decide which one of them, or more than one of them, is worthy of top place on the podium. Do not worry about that Single Transferable Vote nonsense. Just make your picks, as many as you like and tick the box by the name or names of your chosen ones.  Then come back and vote again as often as you like. Voting closes at midnight BST on Thursday 1 January and the results will be announced on Friday, 2 January. 

Ready? You won’t be…..

Here we go….

1. BELLA POARCH, American influencer.

The Sugar Plum Fairy goes goth. And droopy. Extra minus points for the hair, which made her look like an overgroomed pooch.

 

2. BIGXTHAPLUG, American rapper.

A bare chest, even one tattooed from neck to (total absence of) waist, does not constitute clothes. But one can only work with what one is given, and what one was given was an over-abundance of abdomen under ill-fitting black jeans and a jeans jacket. Clock the knuckleduster on his left hand, larger than a matchbox.

3. BOB ODENKIRK, American actor.

The fabulous Bob chose a two-tone suit resembling a half-and-half chocolate Easter egg; it puckered around the groin and creased everywhere else.

4. GUY BRANUM, American actor and comedian.

When a comedian wears something concerning, one hopes it is part of the act, but frankly, this was deeply bad. WTF concluded that it was a tribute to Kim Kardashian’s frightful floral dress at the Met Gala, made worse here by shorts showcasing stocky calves.

5. CARDI B, American rapper.

A massive pair of tits behind a beaded flyscreen. Yurgle.

6. DEMI LOVATO, American singer.

The purpose of the suspenders was unclear, given that there was nothing to suspend. Not only did Demi choose this outfit, SHE DESIGNED IT.

7. HARVEY GUILLÉN, American Broadway artiste.

What is going on with men and stomachs? He looked like a cross between a bullfighter and someone from the chorus in Aladdin.

 

8. HEIDI KLUM, German model and presenter. 

How could this competition be complete without the ubiquitous Heidi? On this occasion, she was at the Vêtements show at Paris Fashion Week, wearing panties and a net curtain, and looking, for all the world, like Goldie Hawn’s mother in a mouthgard.

9. ICE SPICE, American Rapper.

The dress, not that it was a dress, was too small but it was those things on her legs that baffled WTF. Were they cut-off jeans? Or were they a pair of truncated  elephant legs (see what WTF did there?) #baffled

10. JULIANE GAMBOA, Brazilian singer.

Juliane attended the Latin Grammys in an outfit cobbled together from the plastic netting you put around soft fruit to stop it bruising and a deconstructed raffia beach hut.

 

11. KASEY MUSGRAVES, American singer.

Sorry, WTF aficionados Dean and Pam from Fife, but Kasey still made the cut despite your protests, because this outfit was not clothes, but what you wear under clothes –  that is, if you were knocking about in 1894.

12. KIMBERLEY GUILFOYLE, US Ambassador to Greece and former Fox news presenter. And former fiancée of Donald Trump Jr. What a resumé.

This dress would have been unsuitable for any occasion, other than a party at Mar A Lago, a place where taste goes to die; but it was particularly unsuitable for the US Ambassador to the Hellenes, where Madame Ambassador flaunted her all with peek-a-boo bra and panties.  WTF predicts high scandal in the very near future.

13. LYAS MEDINI, French fashion influencer.

It is a Jean Paul Gaultier bodysuit, and not his own dingly-dangly – by the look of his pasty little face and feet, that would have been somewhat more pale. There is only one question – WHY WAS THIS EVEN HAPPENING??????

14. MELANIA TRUMP, Slovenian-born American First Lady.

Don Snoreleone and his wife, who seems to have adjusted her hours as First Lady to demi-semi-part-time, spent 24 hours at Windsor Castle. Melania arrived dressed in a prison warder’s suit and a ridiculous hat, clearly designed for the purpose of repelling anyone who tried to get within two feet of her or to attempt to see her face. As a result, she looked like a headless corpse with a hat popped on the stump of her neck.

15. NIKITA KARIZMA, British-Indian fashion designer. 

Is it meant to be Robocop in beach chic? WTF has no idea what is going on here. None whatsoever. 

16. RIHANNA, Barbadian singer and makeup entrepreneur.

She had a dead parrot on her head and was dressed in a pink furniture dust cover. Who knows why?

17. TEYANA TAYLOR, American actor.

Teyana has a banging body and has no intention of letting you forget it. Were her panties holding up the skirt or were they part of the skirt? And where was the top half?

18. ZAC EFRON, American actor.

Zac is the new face of Dior Men. For the advertising campaign, he was shown with a face dyed the shade favoured by President 47, and in this stripey thing like an Olympic ice dancer. Show us your triple salchow, love!

OK Readers, over to you. Vote early! Vote often! WTF will be back with the results in the next blog on 2 January 2026.  Be good x