wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

President 47 has had another slap from the courts, this time on his ludicrous hokey-cokey tariffs. They have been up and they have been down and they have been paused and they have been revived and yesterday they were subject to a temporary kibosh by three judges on the Federal Trade Court on the grounds that he did not have the power to impose them without the consent of Congress. This ruling was of course immediately attacked by the Adminsitration as ‘a judicial coup,’ although  interpreting the Constitution is what judges are actually there for. Pending appeal, the tariffs have been reinstated. Where does this leave the UK’s vaunted trade deal with the US? We have apparently agreed to a 10% tariff.  If the US cannot lawfully levy tariffs, do we get a refund? Only we could end up paying for something we could have got for free.  Still we are only taking a bit of their hormone beef and perhaps some dodgy chicken. Vietnam has by-passed all its usual procedures for building permits and has rushed through permission for the Family business to build a massive golf course and hotel complex. All this to get lower tariffs, even though the tariffs should never have been levied at all. 

Meanwhile, scandal follows scandal follows scandal. You hardly know where to look first. Is it the shysters and fraudsters who have been found guilty and ordered to pay restitition, only for the President to pardon them, quashing not just their guilt but also their obligation to pay money back? In one case, a businessman stole millions meant to be paid in tax and national insurance and bought a yacht with it. His mum went to a fundraising dinner for the President last month (at $1m per person) and hey presto! Her son walks free! Is it the scam where you buy as much Trumpcoin as possible and win a dinner at his golf club in Virginia and a chance to hobnob with the President (actually not for long, because he legged it immediately after a perfunctory 15 minute speech. And the food was disgusting). Is it the plane donated by the Qataris, decked out in gold like an airborne knocking shop, which he gets to use as Air Force One and then gets to keep when he leaves office (if indeed he ever does), a take-home gift like you get at kiddies parties. Is it the duff libel actions against media organisations which get ‘settled’ with money into the Presidential pocket, although the claims are shite and the value of the settlements is way above what might otherwise be awarded (even in America). Or the $40m Amazon paid to the First Lady for a documentary about her life. It is glorified protection money. ‘Nice company you’ve got there, Mr Bezos. Shame if anything were to happen to it……’  Without a peep from Senators and Congressman. They are too busy planting their tongue into the Presidential rectum. This week, one Congressman proposed renaming the DC metro the ‘Trump Train’, another wants his face carved on Mount Rushmore and a third wants his birthday to be a public holiday. It is a cult. It is madness. It is fascism. And it is happening in plain sight.

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We start our review of the week’s woeful wear in Manchester with Manchester City and England footballer Phil Foden and his long-time partner Rebecca Cooke, mother of his three children (they are both only 24). They are going to teammate Kevin de Bruyne’s farewell party. Phil is wearing a Louis Vuitton ombré leather jacket (of course he is). Rebecca is wearing a catsuit, the origin of which is thankfully unknown, and a handbag you can buy on Amazon for £72.

Phil’s jacket screams ‘Footballer!!!!!’ and must have cost about £8,000. As for Rebecca’s outfit, it is rubbing hard against her ladyparts, which will require a generous application of Canisten, it has a large tit French Window and WTF hates a bellybutton peep-hole almost above all things. Meanwhile, who can forget the memes during last year’s Euros when Phil was brilliantly outed as a cat lookalike?

To Monte Carlo where we find journalist Lauren Sanchez with her fiancé Jeff Bezos attending the Monaco Grand Prix.

Why would you wear this to a Grand Prix? VAN (‘Visible Nipple Activity’), globular tits, a see-through skirt made from Queen Victoria’s mourning veil, and more collagen than a GOP fundraiser. Note that Jeff is wearing a plain blue polo shirt, albeit with a touch of VNA himself, super-snug chinos and sneakers. But then he is a multi- billionaire and she is anxious to keep him to the wedding in Venice next month. Frankly, they both deserve each other.

Next, we are in Cannes at the amFAR Gala where we encounter soi-disant “celebrated actor and singer-songwriter,” Michael Jackson’s daughter Paris Jackson. Hands up if you have ever seen her Ophelia. No? Thought not….. The designer has wisely decided to embrace anonynimity. Good call.

If a bunny went to a fancy dress party as Amber Heard playing a wicked witch, this is what it would look like. The colour is hideous on a very pink Paris, the flimsy fabric cannot hide her tattooes and there is a veritable vulvarama. Yurgle. 

Here we are at the American Music Awards (AMAs) in Las Vegas with singer Ciara wearing Bronx and Banco.

That bodice is patently not up to the job, vainly endeavouring to squeeze a quart into a pint pot. It was designed for someone with a lot less tittage. What seems to be a chainmail fence is precariously attached to her chest with an inadequate amount of tit tape, as the picture below amplifies, and the nether garments do not fit leading to concertinaring around her hips. Let us hope that Ciara resisted the termptation to dance at the afterparty, even if she could do so in those shoes, as it could have caused one or more calamities, namely either major tit outage or harming dancers a few feet away by whipping them to within an inch of their life with her chains.

Here is the host of the AMAs, actor and singer, Jennifer Lopez wearing Mônot. Scroll down slowly.

Jen is still doing that ‘showing-her-ex-what-he-is-missing’ thing, although it is highly doubtful that Ben Affleck is missing it. He left the marriage after less than two years, having bolted twenty years earlier only days before the nuptuals. As WTF’s brother was wont to say, you can’t heat up an omlette. Not only should she pull herself together, she should also pull up her trousers because she looks as if her cleavage is back to front as well as upside down.

This is singer Shaboozey wearing Etro.

Meet Mr Toad, wearing chaps.

Finally, we have singer Kehlani wearing something or other.

Eek. She resembles a lady mud wrestler. Why this would be anyone’s look of choice, WTF cannot say,

Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow her on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x