wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers, 

Welcome to another addition of ‘ven der schmekl steht, der sechel geht’  the fine old Yiddish expression that roughly translates as ‘when your prick goes hard, common sense flies out of the window’. This week’s sorry victim is William Wragg,  36, MP for Hazel Grove, who until last Tuesday had the Tory whip. But sadly Wragg put the Willy into #Willygate by sending a photo of his private member to someone he’d just met on Grindr and who had targeted him and sent him an unsolicited message. The said person turned out not to be another gay man looking for a shag, but one of two dodgy bad actors who then blackmailed Wragg into handing over the contact details for other Tory MPs by threatening that the dick pic would end up on the front page of all the papers. Wragg succumbed to the blackmail but later came clean, if you will pardon the expression, ‘fessed up, ate a great deal of humble pie and resigned the Tory whip for having initially ratted on his colleagues rather than risking exposure, which he had. He was standing down at the next election in any event but even so, it is an ignominious ending to his political career. Not that his career was particularly distinguished. Elected in 2015, he supported the ghastly Andrea Loathsome to succeed David Cameron in 2016 and was one of those Herberts who laid into the National Trust for being affected by ‘cultural Marxism dogma’ and for being ‘woke’ when that organisation highlighted links between its properties, slavery, and colonialism. Ironically, Wragg is or was a member of the Conservative Common Sense Group, which is an oxymoron if ever WTF has heard one.

WTF has never quite understood the attraction of dick pics and she suspects that most women would agree with her but, not being a gay man, she is unable to comment on why this particular form of advertising the goods appeals to the target audience for which it is intended. Indeed, it would be unwise for her to speculate. However, it seems to her that when you are in the public eye, not to mention someone passing legislation affecting the lives of others, it is incumbent upon you to keep your nose clean and your dick under wraps, or, at the very least, not to send pictures of it, erect or otherwise, to persons unknown, even if invited to do so. Unless of course you do not mind having those pics splashed all over the media. Put bluntly, Wragg showed a complete lack of common sense in sending the pic and – to start with – no guts at all when faced with the consequences of what he had done. Granted, he is entitled to have sex with whomsoever he pleases as long as it is legal and consensual. But there must be easier ways meeting a partner, long-term or short-term as the case may be, than entrusting pictures of your schmekl to the Internet.

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We start our review of the week is fashion Follies with First Lady Melania Trump as a fund-raising gala in Florida for her husband, wearing Valentino. Don’t they look like a loving couple? 

As WTF’s late grandmother used to remark, she looks like she would drown him in a thimble full of water.  Meanwhile, this is not a dress it is a jumpsuit – $7,000 worth of ghastliness. It is  worse from the side…

WTF aficionado K. Thomas from the US’s Pacific Northwest, who therefore has skin in the game as this was and could again be the First Lady of her country, was aghast and rightly so. She writes ‘It looks like a high school Home Economics sewing project from the 70’s’. To which WTF would add that it looks like a high school Home Economics sewing project from the 70’s after someone had dropped a shitload of acid when sewing it while having a nightmare vision of the forest in My Little Pony. Not just that but it is ugly and why in the hell would anyone want to wear puce?

And while we are in ‘70s mode, here is actor Patricia Arquette wearing Pucci at the Pucci Show in Rome.

It is hideous, and then some, as if someone had thrown up over a Picasso….

Also in Rome was bitsflasher Julia Fox, wearing not enough.

That zip is downright provocative. If Big Bird from Sesame Street went to a fancy dress party as Julia Fox, this is what it would look like.

And still in Rome, here is actor Lupita Nyong’o wearing Dolce & Gabbana at their Gala.

Not even the lovely Lupita can make this work. For financially-conscious fashionistas who are also still in possession of their senses, you can save yourself thousands of dollars by buying a crop top and an ultra-tiny short tennis skirt and wear it over a pair of black tights and a nylon body, preferably one with a seam running down one side like a duelling scar.

Now we are in Los Angeles at the Williams Institute’s 2024 The Legacy Gala honouring Chuck Williams where we encounter actor and singer Billy Porter wearing École Primaire.

Actually, this is quite restrained for Billy. It starts off  well at the shoulders like a Suffragette coat but in a pretty colour but then it starts going all Marie-Antoinette before going through another nonsensical transformation and turning into ripped Mom jeans. It is like a trip through fashion history on a time machine. And WTF would like to get off.

We now travel to Austin Texas for the CMT Music Awards 2024 where we come across a newcomer to this blog, country singer Leah Turner wearing something frightful.

She has a mouldy cabbage lurking on her chest like a cyanotic tit monster and she is also festooned with fringing like the Surrey with the Fringe on the Top from Oklahoma!

And this is country singer Cody Belew wearing Christian Siriano.

If they ever do a gay version of The Barber of Seville, here is Figaro’s costume.

And finally, for the last time before they are banned for a while from this blog for a conspiracy to indulge in repetitive bits-flashing, here are Kanye West and his wife Bianca Censori out for dinner at Gigi’s in Hollywood. Mind how you go….

Gigi is wearing a balcony bra, a pair of tights and her handbag as a Minge Mask and is tottering on stupid wedge sandals into top eatery Gigi’s for a spot of supper. There, a Seafood Tower for two costs $180 (12 oysters, shrimp cocktail, scallops, tuna tartare and regiis ova ossetra caviar) and a side order of broccolini with almonds and black garlic is a mere $14. Surely diners forking out that sort of money (see what WTF did there?) are entitled not to have to look at Bianca’s buttocks or to see her horrible husband staring down her cleavage? 

Or maybe they took Bianca as an ambulatory illustration of what Gigi’s burgers look like. It gives a whole new meaning to the word buns…. 

This week’s It’s Got To Go is more of a case of He Had to Go and comes from WTF aficionados anywhere with any sense of decency. OJ Simpson died of cancer this week and my goodness, did the press go to town. Yes, he was acquitted of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman. But he was found liable in a civil court for Goldman’s unlawful death and for injuring Brown and Goldman  and ordered to pay their families a total of $33 million. Most of which has not been paid. He was then sentenced to prison for armed robbery. He was clearly a scumbag, and it would have been far more fitting for the media simply to have noted his passing and to move on. WTF will not mourn him and he does not deserve to be mourned. He had to go. Good riddance.

 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x