WTF, the daughter of a Russian mother (albeit born in Romania, now Moldova, with a Ukrainian father), was brought up to like Chekhov. The Cherry Orchard features a character called Epihodov who is distinctly accident prone and nicknamed Two and Twenty Misfortunes. They’re always staging The Cherry Orchard or The Seagull rather than WTF ‘s favourites Uncle Vanya or The Three Sisters, but the next time someone plans to stage The Cherry Orchard, and decides to make it ‘relevant’, they could do a lot worse than to set it in the 21st century UK with Rishi Sunak as Epihodov. Although to be fair, any one of his hapless cabinet colleagues could play the role. Things have been going badly wrong of late for Sunak’s government, but this last few weeks have stunk worse than the stinkiest skunk with hygiene issues. First we had Nadine Dorries resigning with immediate effect, and then hanging around like a bad smell for seven weeks befire actually going. Then we had the revelation, only days before the Nation’s kiddies were due to resume their education on Monday that many school buildings from the 1960s and 1970s were on the verge of collapse so that some angelic seven year old could be taken out at any time by collapsing concrete while reciting her 10 times table. Things got even more dire when it turned out it had been Sunak himself, when Secretary of the Treasury, who had vetoed expenditure to put all dodgy school buildings right, and then more dire than that when Scouse Secretary of State for Education, Gillian Keegan, doing the media rounds to explain the cockup, forgot to remove her mic before suggesting that people should in fact be ‘fucking thanking her for acting when others had been sitting on their arse’. You can take the girl out of Liverpool but you cannot take Liverpool out of the girl… she actually thinks she is entitled to be thanked
The Government was still reeling from that disaster when alleged terrorist and high security prisoner, Daniel Khalife, escaped from Wandsworth Prison while on kitchen duty, allegedly by clinging onto the underside of a bin lorry. And it is of course worth pointing out that Wandsworth is not a high security prison and has a shocking record of cockups various and that working in a kitchen where people go in and out, and where there are knives and other such lying around, may not be the most appropriate venue for someone suspected of threatening the well-being of the United Kingdom. Sunak defended these lapses by pointing out that the last Labour Government had 10 times more prison escapees, although what this has to do with the price of fish is unclear.
What fresh horrors await this week? It hardly bears thinking about. The warm and sunny weather in these last days of summer may bring a smile to the long-suffering citizens of these Isles, but it cannot mask the fact that this Government is washed up, incompetent and as much use as tits on a fish. What a complete shower. Epihodov was known as Two and Twenty and Misfortunes. Sunak must be praying that he can keep the numbers that low.
We start our review of the week’s atrocious attire with comedian Tom Allen at the National TV Awards in London. Scroll down slowly….
No. Just No. Bare knees plus socks is never a good look, not even on border officials in tropical climes unless you are a baby and that is because babies are always mega cute. Like this one…..
Also there was singer Sam Ryder wearing a most remarkable ensemble…..
Sigh. He looks like a cheap duvet cover.
And finally from the NTAs we have Love Island‘s Maura Higgins wearing Khanum’s.
A great deal of groin and a pair of tits that have seen some interference with the workings of nature.
Sorry but those tits are the most unreal tits WTF has seen for quite a while. WTF has spent some time this summer doing painting and decorating and has found that the process of cutting in, i.e. where two colours meet in a corner, very hard to get a clean line. Maura’s surgeon clearly had the same problem. Those tits looks like some badly cut melons.
Kanye has been banned for life from Venice boats after supposedly getting a blow job from Bianca while cruising around the Rialto, flashing his bare bum to stunned onlookers. That is a holiday snap they never anticipated…. this time it is not Bianca who is the worst dressed but Kanye who has put the contents of his sock drawer down his tights like Errol Flynn as Robin Hood.
To Venice for the Film Festival where we find singer Rita Ora wearing Stéphane Rolland.
This is a very ridiculous garment with a alien white thing that looks like the lovechild of a flapper and a yacht in full sail.
Plus of course the near-compulsory arse cheeks….
Still in Venice, we are at the Miu Miu Party were we encounter actor Emma Corrin.
What is occurring? A cardie and tights under knitted knickers and some sort of white incontinence pants. Toddler wear. (Emma is 28).
And finally just when you thought actor Julia Fox could sink no lower, she can. And then some. And then some more….. CAREFUL NOW!!!
OK, at least she is not longer bothering to pretend she is covered up. This is a c**t coin. Just get your vulva out, love, and be done with it.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh, who was disgusted to see this play pillow on sale for £9 99.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x