WTF’s heroes are not so much falling from Grace as plummeting. Last week it was New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. This week it is US President Joe Biden. He told us that he would always be straight with us and would admit when he made a mistake. Yet he made a catastrophic error and is failing to own it. Getting out of Afghanistan was always going to be a mess. But this is worse than a mess. Anyone could have seen that announcing the US was off by September 11, but with no formal agreement in place between the US Government, the Afghan Government and the Taliban, would open the door to chaos. The US also ignored memos from diplomats on the grounds in Kabul advising them against the planned withdrawal, and it did not even bother to talk to its Allies about its plans. We were however assured that the Afghan army, supposedly trained by the US and UK to a high standard, was more than capable of defeating the Taliban but that promise was based on the assumptions that the Afghan Army was the size they said it was and that it was up for a fight, whereas neither was true. The Afghan Government, or at least a large part of it, was too busy shovelling money into its pockets to find time to pay the military for over a year, so it is unsurprising that its soldiers had no stomach for combat. Last weekend, Afghan capitals fell one by one like dominos under the merest puff of air, and before we knew it, Taliban fighters were posing proudly in the Presidential office. Meanwhile, the Afghan President skipped town in a helicopter, allegedly accompanied by suitcases of cash, and is now safely ensconced in the UAE.
Because things collapsed so rapidly, foreign nationals are still stuck in Afghanistan, as are many Afghans who were interpreters and teachers and others who helped to free women from the medieval quagmire into which they had been sunk after 2001, and to which they will doubtless rapidly return. If you’re going to go, then go. But make sure there is some sort of agreed exit strategy. Look after those who risked their lives for your ill-defined political purposes. Arrange for people to get out before you go. At least ensure that the road to the airport is clear because there is no point promising to take people out if they can’t get to the planes. Have a plan. Some plan. Any plan. But at least have a bloody plan that is more comprehensive than ‘we’re going now, bye bye’.
Meanwhile, Boris Johnson and Dominic Raab thought it was more important for them to go on holiday than to hang around Whitehall and do something. They failed to rise to the occasion and they failed again in the House of Commons on Wednesday, offering no cogent explanation for their inaction. Instead, they radiated arrogance, irritation and self-satisfaction, with Johnson simultaneously telling us that that this had been foreseen and that it had not. But who was remotely surprised that either of them is incompetent? Biden, on the other hand, is another matter. WTF naively had hoped that his decency, empathy and experience would have helped him to handle this with some forethought. It didn’t happen. Instead he blamed the Afghan Army, ran away from reporters at his Press Conference and has been less than frank. For shame.
We start our survey of the week’s sartorial slurry with singer and actor Jennifer Hudson wearing Valentino.
Next up, we have actor Jai Courtney wearing Paul Smith.
The colour is pretty, but either (i) Jai has lived on a diet of cake since he bought the suit, or (ii) he accidentally put it on a hot wash in the machine or (iii) it was always two sizes too small. Every seam is holding on for dear life…. he has also teamed the delicate suit with what appear to be hobnail boots.
Here is celebritee Draya Michele in LA, wearing who can even say what?
Those are very terrible trousers, apparently recycled from some kiddie’s bedroom curtains together with the original fringing, and worn with a scarf serving as a bra showing oodles of under-boob.
She’s back! I speak of newly-minted billionaire Rihanna wearing a load of old tat.
Ever since RiRi has started hanging out with A$AP Rocky, she has been favouring ridiculous jeans. Are they jeans? Or are they joggers? As for the thing around her chest, it is not so much a handkerchief as a titkerchief. Perhaps now she is so rich, she feels the need to dress down like a Victorian beggar….
Our old pal is back, TV presenter and former model Heidi Klum wearing Dolce & Gabbana on the set of America’s Got Talent.
NBC’s viewers must have jammed the switchboard for hours complaining of retinal damage. Are D&G having a laugh? She looks like one of those patchwork teddies, only without the pot belly.
And now we have singer Dua Lip wearing Marshall Columbia.
Dua’s wardrobe has been attacked from a swarm of particularly hungry moths flying in formation like the Red Arrows. Not to mention giving us all a parallel Minge Moment.
And finally, we say hello again to singer Orville Peck wearing Beyonce’s new collection, Ivy Park.
Orville fans will know that he never shows his face, but there is a mask and there is this thing, the lovechild of the Lone Ranger and some backwoodsman from the Ozarks.
This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh and if this is not the most revolting thing you ever saw in your life, then you have led a seriously disturbed life and need some sort of assistance.
WARNING – THIS IS REALLY HORRIBLE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Well, you were warned. Yvonne wants to know what sort of person would want to drink out of this cup, and apart from members of the Coprophiliacs’ Club, WTF does not know the answer either. But she does know that It’s Got to Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Send in your suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your very top comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x.
Heidi Klum has modelled herself on Patsy Stone. Maybe she hasn’t realsed that Patsy’s look is supposed to be a joke. Hollow Laughter!
You privately warned me about this week’s ‘It’s Got to Go’ being the worst ever. You were right. Yurgle x 1000. Just revolting.
I thought it was Ivana Trump.
Sorry, my comment about Ivana Trump was supposed to be a reply to Romi but it seems to have made a bid for independence. (This comment is going to look right daft if it sorts itself out later)
The UK has never covered itself with glory in its treatment of Afghan (or Iraqi, or any other nationality) interpreters but they have sunk to an all time low here. The bit I don’t get is that they’ve offered to take in 25,000 Afghan refugees. Except not right away, obvs, it’s spread over 5 years. So what are the Afghanis supposed to do for five years? They’re refugeees now, they need help now, not in 2026.
My first reaction to the horrible refugee situation in Afghanistan was the same. But it’s said not to have been that simple.
1) Trump made an agreement *with the Taliban* to leave, cutting out the supposedly US-allied government. It’s not like the Afghanis were full of hope and faith in the US before that, but that was a large last straw. Also, Trump, while doing less than nothing to prepare for withdrawal, set the date for it only three months into the next administration. He was trying to set Biden up for a mess.
2) Recognizing that, Biden pushed the date back to Sept 1. There were weeks of talks in July (? also early August?) that had a somewhat orderly exit planned. What they didn’t plan on was the prez, Ashraf Ghani, loading a helicopter up with cash and heading out first, which sparked the panic and race to the airport. (There’s no way to include something like that in the plans. You’d have to arrest the guy, and that would spark the same panic.)
3) Given the dinosaur-sized coprolite handed to him, Biden has pushed the situation into more order than you’d expect.
It’s miles away from ideal, but at least they’re *trying* to get as many out as they can, together with other involved nations.