wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers, 

So Super Tuesday came and went and a number of candidates went with it – Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Senator Amy Klobuchar and multi-billionaire (a real one) Mike Bloomberg. All of whom came out and supported Obama’s Vice-President Joe Biden, who bolted out of nowhere to win 10 out of 14 states. He had been Biden his time, having been declared dead after a very poor showing on the first couple of primaries. Bloomberg spent $1bn on his brief and ill-fated campaign but, Readers, do not worry about him – he still has about $60bn left, so there will be no need for any economies in his household budget and he can probably still afford a summer holiday, coronavirus permitting. Senator Elizabeth Warren (70), who is smarter than all of the remaining candidates put together, dropped out yesterday. Which leaves the Democratic fight to two male septuagenarians, Biden (77) and Senator Bernie Sanders (78), with the winner taking on Donald Trump (a mere stripling of 73) in November. 

None of these three is remotely the best option. Trump is unspeakable, as well as mind-bogglingly stupid. This week, appalled onlookers were treated to the sight of him enquiring of the world’s leading experts on viruses whether the existing ‘flu vaccine would work on the coronavirus. (Answer – of course not, you fucking idiot. IT IS A DIFFERENT VIRUS. But then he thinks that it is called corona flu…..). Trump is less concerned with the victims and more concerned with the effect on the Stock Market, his main USP in the forthcoming election. He also contradicted the World Health Organisation’s estimate that 3.4% of those contracting the virus will die, this based on his own ‘hunch’. Sanders (who is not even a Democrat, but an Independent who caucuses with the Democrats) has many good points, but also has three main drawbacks. First, he is manifestly too left wing for most Americans to vote for, which means he will not beat Trump. Second, his supporters have the same cultish devotion and boorishness as our own Corbinistas, and are furious at every Democrat who had the temerity to vote for someone other than their beloved Object. Third, he constantly attacks the Establishment and millionaires, although he is a Senator and a millionaire who owns three homes. As for Biden, he also has many good points but WTF worries that he has, as her late mother used to say, gone old. He can seem as sharp as a bumper bag of cotton wool. His sentences sometimes drift off into the hinterlands of comprehension, if they even get that far. His foot is often placed firmly inside his mouth. Much as one wants to love him, and there is much to love, it is difficult not to worry about a 77-year-old whose memory seems to be fading and who often lacks energy. But even a half-functioning Biden is better than a fully-functioning Trump, always assuming that he is actually fully functioning, about which WTF entertains great doubt. Hell, a box of coronavirus-soaked tissues is better than a fully-functioning Trump, because Trump peddles hated, division, derision, and racism, as well as a determination to enrich himself and his circle. Which is why it is imperative that Biden picks a viable, smart, running-mate, preferably one of those who should have had his job in the first place, because it may be that he will not last four years, or, if he does, he will have to rely on his VP more and more. Call for Senator Warren or Senator Kamala Harris or Senator Klobuchar because it is probably the only way the US will ever get a female President……..

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial slurry at an event dedicated to the late singer Lena Horne, with singer Solange Knowles wearing David Koma. 

This can reasonably be described as odd, as if she has recently undergone radical surgery.

We are at Milan Fashion Week and in the company of our long-term friend, actor Jared Leto.  He is wearing Gucci. Of course he is.

The last time that WTF saw a shirt like that, it was on the late, lamented, Jim Morrison.  It does not go with the trousers, complete with their blingy Gucci logo, or with the jacket with its blingy-but-gorgeous brooch, or with the stupid hat, and nothing goes with anything else. As per usual. Love the shoes though..

Meet artist and musician Casey Spooner also at Milan Fashion Week, wearing Prada.

If Glenn from Village People went to a fancy dress party as a motorcycle cop, this is what he would look like. And that fly zip is an invitation to trouble…..

We are now at Paris Fashion Week, with actress Shailene Woodley. wearing Stella McCartney.

Those are very bad jeans with built-in chaps. WTF?

And here is actress Ashley Benson, wearing Giambattista Valli.

Throughout the world, people are stockpiling toilet paper in anticipation of being quarantined at home with the aforementioned coronavirus. Now we know where most of it went- into Giambattista’s workshop and onto Ashley.

More bad denim, this time on model Bella Hadid wearing Balenciaga.

The kindest description of this is that it is a mess. And the hair! She looks like Neil in The Young Ones.

Now we have rapper Kanye West and his wife Kim Kardashian, celebritee, law student and prison campaigner, the Elizabeth Fry de nos jours. They are on their way to a church service conducted by Kanye. He is wearing his own fashion line, Yeezy, and Kim is wearing Balmain. 

Apparently, at Kanye Church Services, a gospel choir sings songs written by…Kanye. Er, right. Presumably Kanye can wear what he likes at his own church, but Kim’s outfit is an abomination. As Jesus almost remarked ‘Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel toe to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.’ Call for the Canesten! It is also the colour of poo and has gloves instead of, or attached to, the sleeves.  And who wears fuck-me sandals on a Sunday morning in March???

Finally, this is actor Tommy Dorfman wearing Martin Margiela.

Yurgle, The coat is totally tops, as is the jacket/waistcoat, but no one wants to see either penis peek or Springtime for Hitler boots worn with bare thighs. Or, for that matter, cyanotic lips. 

This week’s It’s Got To Go is from a number of different WTF aficionados, Yvonne from Jedburgh, Claire from Boston and Annie from the North Pennines, all of whom – separately – have got the hump with these vile latex trousers from graduate designer Harikrishnan at the London School of Design. Ready? You won’t be….

The trousers are inflated with a seven millimetre-wide inflation valve at the bottom. The designer got the idea from his dog (WTF is not making this up) and how exaggerated objects must look from such a low angle. “The thought of him seeing me as a giant figure or not seeing my head at all was intriguing, so I decided to reimagine the people around me through the game of distortion – detached from the stereotypical, pre-determined notions of the human perspective.” It looks as if someone has farted into their trousers. It’s dreadful, it’s pretentious, and without any question whatsoever, It’s Got To Go. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. You have not been sending in your comments, leaving WTF despairing in these tough times – none in two weeks apart from the MAGA moron making racist comments about Michelle Obama. And do keep sending in your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x