WTF No Welcome in the Hillsides Special

Hallo Readers,

The Britain Trump completed the first full week of his hopefully short-lived tenure as Prime Minister and in truth, it did not go that well. In England, the East Midlands and the North West are under water, following torrential rain, as if heralding what was to come in the early hours of Friday morning,

 namely the people of Brecon and Radnorshire in Wales telling him where to stick his party, his candidate and his plan for a no-deal Brexit. In truth, it may have had quite a bit to do with fact that the former Tory MP, Chris Davies, had pleaded guilty of fiddling his Parliamentary expenses, prompting his constituents to get up a petition and recall him. This necessitated a by-election and the Conservatives selected……former Tory MP Chris Davies. Good call, chaps.  The voters did not accord a welcome in the hillsides to Davies, and little wonder. If you send back a steak in a restaurant because it is rancid, you do not serve the same steak second time round. As a result, they voted for the Liberal Democrat candidate Jane Dodds, who won by 1,425. She, had done a deal with both the Greens and Plaid Cymru, overturning Davies’ 8,000 majority. It also did not help Johnson that the Brexit Party split the Brexit vote. Be that as it may, his Parliamentary majority is down to 1, and this from an area that voted to leave in 2016. That was probably because they were promised a very favourable deal by….oh yes. Boris Johnson. And his majority could go down to zero shortly, because another Tory MP is thinking of defecting to the Liberal Democrats.

The new PM did a grand tour of the Union this week, albeit  that he, as Leader of the Conservative and Unionist Party, is about to preside over the demise of the Conservatives AND the Union, all in the name of a Brexit he does not really believe in. The EU had already told him where to shove his plan for a renegotiated Brexit. In Scotland, Ruth Davidson, leader of the Scottish Conservatives, told him to where to shove his plan for a no-deal Brexit, and he had to sneak out through Nicola Sturgeon’s back door, having been booed by unfriendly Scots at the front door. In Wales, the Welsh Government told him where to shove his plan for a no-deal Brexit. Johnson left one hundred well wishers standing about in the rain (it rains a lot in  Wales, that is why those valleys are so bloody green) and did not speak to them or the public, although he did cuddle a Welsh chicken, pissing off the press who were huddled into a shed like battery-hens, unlike the fine specimens on show. In Northern Ireland, he played political footsie with the Democratic Unionist Party, whose allegiance had been purchased by Theresa May for a billion quid, but was told where to shove his ‘no-backstop, no-EU negotiations’, demand by both the leader of Sinn Fein and by the Irish Taoiseach, Leo Varadkar. 

Johnson and the First Girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, have commandeered the bigger flat at 11 Downing Street, which has four bedrooms, leaving the nominal occupant of that building, Chancellor Sajid Javid, crammed into the smaller two bedroomed flat at 10 Downing Street – despite the fact that Johnson and Symonds have no children, whereas the Saj and his wife have four. Maybe Johnson needs the space for when his kids by his former wife come to stay, not to mention the love child, and any other ones he may have, but whose existence he refuses to confirm or deny.  Be that as it may, the happy young couple should not rush to pick out new wallpaper and drapery just yet- they may not be there very long.

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We start our review of the sartorial silliness of the last seven days with actor and talk-show host James Corden, out and about wearing Gucci.

Just recently, James has gone mega-poncey in Gucci. Readers may remember his appearance at the Tony Awards in a floral Gucci suit and now he is parading about in a £1,600 striped cardigan looking like a nautical deckchair. By the way, WTF would wager a tenner that James could have bought something similar in H&M for £16.

To the London premiere of Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon A Time in Hollywood  Once Upon A Time in Hollywood where we find actress Lena Dunham wearing Arlington 16.

It is of course always possible that Lena was wearing this for a bet. Because the other possibility is that someone actually told her that she looked good dressed as a Mae West tribute act.

And here we are at the US premiere of the same movie with actor Eli Roth.

Here are three unpleasant items of clothing, made all the more unpleasant by their being worn together. John Travolta would have turned down this outfit for Saturday Night Fever and he was not even a star then.

Here is singer and presenter Kristen Chenoweth wearing something absolutely vile.

Aqua Barbie is alive and well and sporting silver bootees.

Peaky Blinders starts a new series shortly and this is Charlene McKenna at the launch party, wearing Manley Studio.

These are another three revolting individual items of clothing, but the worst is the jacket with its pussy peephole and built-in valance. What possessed her to wear this? She could call upon the nearest exorcist – stat.

Here is actor Michael B. Jordan looking like a right prat.

What fresh hell is this? From the chest down, he looks great. From chest to neck he looks ridiculous. No one, and that is no one, can wear a boat neck sweater over a white shirt. 

And now another trio of terribleness, beginning with actress Jackie Cruz  at the premiere of the final series of Orange Is The new Black, wearing LouLou.

What on earth is going on here? She is like a cappuccino in panties.

Next to Comic-Con and actress Ajiona Alexus in Dany Mizrachi.

Ajiona, who is a young Janet Jackson lookalikey, is dressed as the lovechild of a funky chicken and a swimsuit model and the effect is not pretty. The netting on the bodice is the wrong shade for her skintone and looks like a tan-line.

And the last of the trio, octogenarian Joan Collins.   wearing something whose designer has rightly gone to ground. Scroll down slowly…..

The top is pretty, which is more than can be said for the mullet wig, but that is a full-on minge moment. The encrustations are not up to the job, making her appear to have had a particularly savage waxing. They clearly ran out of wax lower down as the feathers are distinctly patchy.

And finally – the moment you have been waiting for. The winner of the WTF Summer Stinker Poll 2019 is……drumroll! ‘Stylist’  Lyali Hakaraia.

Lyall Hakaraia

Lyali had a ferocious four-way fight with Perez Hilton, Lewis Hamilton and Gillian McKeith and edged victory by half a percentage point. Yikes! But you will agree that he is worthy winner.

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This week’s It’s Got To Go is again from WTF aficionado Leslie from Lisson Grove but wow, what a corker. This might be one of the most revolting things WTF has ever seen, and she has seen a few.  Trust me on this. Are you ready? You won’t be. Here are the Cantaloupe Panties. Easy now.

Leslie says ‘in all fairness Nick Jones really should have the kudos for this humdinger….. Scientists have devoted their lives to creating an internet which shares wisdom, intelligence, information, and generally makes the world a better informed place —— however, occasionally something like this peeps through. I doubt if this will pass your “Hayes” test but honestly, if (in my grindr days) I met someone wearing these babies, I’d head for the hills.’ Agreed. I feel ill. It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Put a smile on WTF’s face by keeping those comments rolling in, as well as your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. WTF is having a break and will be back on 31 August. Be good x

 

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This entry was posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Met Gala 2014, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to WTF No Welcome in the Hillsides Special

  1. Jan in Melb says:

    Wow, I’ve been following your blog since the outset and those Cantaloupe Panties are one of the nastiest things I’ve ever seen on your post. I would say that takes the cake but I think I have lost my appetite for cake or anything else for some considerable time now thanks to that !

    Also Andrew Purcell where are you ? I miss your comments

  2. Kirsty says:

    Holy sh***!! My poor eyes!!
    Firstly, the cappuccino in panties, then La Collins, bookended by the lace topped cantaloupe panties! It’s all so terribly terrible!!!!!
    Love your work x

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