WTF Julian Special

Hallo Readers,

This week, Julian Assange was sentenced to 50 weeks’ imprisonment in the UK for jumping bail. In 2012, he walked out of a London Magistrates’ Court having been granted bail on an extradition hearing to Sweden, where he was to have faced allegations of rape and sexual assault. Assange and his adoring supporters argued that the women had been put up to making these complaints in order to lure him back to Sweden so that he could be extradited on to the US, there to be charged with all manner of things as a result of publishing secret documents on his website, Wikileaks. Despite the fact that Sweden’s extradition treaty with the US prohibits extradition on the basis of  “a political offence” or “an offence connected with a political offence.” Having got bail on the basis of gullible sureties forking out a fortune, he promptly sought refuge in the Ecuadorian Embassy, and remained holed up there, flushing his friends’ bail money down the drain in the process, getting on his hosts’ nerves, and acting as if he were the lovechild of Nelson Mandela and the Man in the Iron Mask. Eventually, his hosts grew so tired of him that they opened the front door and begged members of the constabulary to come in and take the bugger away. And so it was that Assange found himself in the dock seven years after he first skedaddled, The taxpayers wasted £16 million over seven years in posting coppers to keep an eye on the front door to prevent Assange doing a runner, money that could have been usefully deployed elsewhere.

Throughout this sorry episode, Assange has always behaved as if he were the victim. What infuriated many people, WTF included, was the total contempt he and his supporters showed for the women making the complaints, including the one who alleges that she awoke to find him having sex with her without a condom when she had previously made it clear that she would not have sex without his wearing one. In Sweden, those facts, if proved, constitute a rape; and on any view, a woman cannot give consent to sex if she is asleep. The other complainant thought that he was practising safe sex, when he was not. The second woman’s complaint is now time barred, but a rape charge can still be brought until 2020. However, the two women have been denigrated and sneered at as “honey pots” who have been put up to it to destroy Wikileaks. They were identified and hounded. Because Heaven forfend that a woman should dare to complain of rape or sexual molestation against a Hero of the Left.

Now that Assange is out of the Embassy and languishing in a real prison, the US now want his extradition on a deliberately light charge of computer fraud, doubtless to avoid objections that he might face the death penalty on a more serious charge, which might scupper the chances of getting him over there. Sweden also wishes to renew extradition on the rape allegations. As to this, WTF is quite clear. The original Swedish charges were dropped only when prosecutors there felt that it was pointless to pursue them as long as Assange was still in the Embassy; if revived, its request should be given precedence and acted upon. If he is guilty of rape, let the Swedes prove it. On the other hand, the UK courts should refuse the US request. The present US Attorney General is not to be trusted, and no sane person would believe a word that President Trump says, (except perhaps when he said “I love Wikileaks” about 200 times during the 2016 Election Campaign, although he now claims he to know nothing about it.) The irony is that had Assange gone back to Sweden in the first place, he would have had a better chance of avoiding that trans-Atlantic trip. Which serves him right.

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We begin our survey of the week’s fashion flops with singer Adam Lambert, wearing Libertine Plus.

Adam is wearing a collection of chinoiserie fabrics resembling the interior of an Asian flophouse, and he has also seriously overdone it on the eyeshadow.

Next to the Tribeca Film Festival and actress Nana Ghana wearing Aliona Konova.

Nana looks as if she has been gift-wrapped. The fishnet tights are OK but not with red fluffy pantouffles.

Also at Tribeca was young actor Charlie Plummer, wearing Loewe.

WTF is at something of a loss to describe what is occurring here, and is unsure whether that is a shirt hanging down to Charlie’s knees or is part of the suit, but the whole thing is very schizophrenic-merchant-banker-goes-cottaging, and not in a  good way. 

This is blogger Margie Plus wearing ASOS.

Look, this is not a fat thing. This is a looking-like-shit thing. There needs to be more shirt – a whole lot more. Like a metre more. Margie also needs to learn about suntan lotion, factor 50, and slather it on because she is more flushed than a public toilet.

This is actress Chloe Sevigny wearing Chanel at a Chanel party thrown by Chanel.

WTF has no knowledge of Chloe’s financial circumstances, and she can only speculate that either she is saving money by buying clothes in the kiddies’ section ,and hoping no one notices, or that Chanel is seriously taking the piss. Or both. This is a Minge Moment waiting to happen, unalleviated by the presence of a small white frill around the hem as found adorning lamb chops in fancy restaurants. We now call in at the NFL Draft, where we encounter player Devin Bush Jr. wearing who can even say what?

This adult harness thing has got to stop. Soon. If not sooner. If adults want to get trussed up in their bedrooms, that is fine. But Devin is not in his bedroom, he is on the public stage, and looking like he is going on to the bondage parlour.

And two more guests, Vince Wilfork (left) and De Angelo Williams (right).

Vince is dressed  like a Keralan fisherman with a sense of humour, whilst De Angelo resembles an extra from Strictly Ballroom.

To the Billboard Awards 2019 in Las Vegas and singer Taylor Swift wearing Raisa & Vanessa.

The colour is pretty but it’s so ruffly, as if an Andrex puppy has run amok with a roll of toilet paper.

Next up, young actress Kiernan Shipka, wearing Dior.

You cannot see any VNA (Visible Nipple Activity). But the fact that you think you can is bad enough, not to mention downright unnerving. There is also VBA (Visible Bellybutton Activity). And the dress is also hideous.

And finally, welcome to makeup artist Patrick Starr, wearing I don’t even know what.

If a Ferrero Rocher went to a fancy dress party as Patrick Starr, this is what it would look like.

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This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado Jan from Melbourne, who is extremely indignant at the appalling behaviour of tourists taking photos of artworks on their phone in museums and galleries. Things have got worse than ever, as Jan points out that people now hold their phones aloft to take some sort of snap, thereby blocking the view of someone like Jan, who (a) is a short-arse and (b) is boringly old fashioned enough to want to look at the fucking picture. Why can’t these people buy a bloody postcard and stop clogging up access to magnificent works of art? It’s Got To Go.

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OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending your splendid comments as well as your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x

 

This entry was posted in Bill Barr, Billboard Music Awards, Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Chanel, David Davis, Donald Trump, Fashion Awards, Fashion Disasters, George Soros, Julian Assange, Nicole Richie, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to WTF Julian Special

  1. Lottie says:

    Charlie Plummer has the face & hairdo of Steve Marriott around 1968, and the legs & feet of Andy Pandy from a few years prior.

    Assange should be sent to Sweden and properly tried, and if found guilty should be locked up for a very long time in a Swedish jail with a nice burly cellmate called whatever the Swedish equivalent is for Big Bubba. Can’t stand the man. The Yanks should have to wait in line; Sweden’s action came first and they get precedence. President Tango will just have to suck it up.

  2. Andrew Purcell says:

    *Vince does not look like a Keralan fisherman. One of my sisters married a man from a Keralan fishing village and he would never be seen in such an outfit.
    *I’m going to fuss with your choice of It’s Got To Go. Art belongs to all of us. Even the selfie generation (of any age). Museums are places where we can see art that we as a society have decided has special merit. For some people just being in the same room as a painting by Van Gogh or a statue by Michelangelo is enough.

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