WTF Rake Special

Hallo Readers,

It is a misapprehension amongst people of very small brain that because it is very cold in certain places at the moment, there is no such thing as climate change. Step forward Donald J. Trump, who noted that the US East Coast was experiencing the coldest Thanksgiving since, like, forever. (Donald himself was at his luxury golf resort in sunny Florida on the taxpayers’ dime, revelling in his preferred decor of gilded splendour like Louis XIV’s biggest and best wet dream. When asked what he was most grateful for this thanksgiving, he replied – for himself). ‘Whatever happened to global warming?’ he crowed. To which most people replied, ‘Whatever happened to the time when the US President had either a brain or advisers with a brain – or both?’ Trump gave us more insight into his unique blend of ignorance and fantasy when he visited the site of the devastating Camp Fire in Northern California, which has killed 86 people with hundreds more missing.  (The Kardashians apparently hired their own fire service to protect their home. Most people might find that a little expensive). According to Trump, the fires had nothing to do with the drought that has afflicted the state, leaving everything so dry that the place was a natural hazard. No, it was because the forests were not properly maintained (side note – the forests in California fall under Federal management. i.e. him. And he’s cut the budget). He had been speaking to the President of Finland the previous week, who had told him that Finland had no problem with fires because they “raked the forest floors”. Never mind that there is a slight difference between the climate of Finland and California. The former is in the Arctic Circle, where winter temperatures can fall to minus 30C and where summer temperatures rarely rise about 18C. Never mind that the President of Finland denies ever telling Trump this. Never mind that the current drought is the worst in 1200 years. Just get out your rake. Rake America Great Again. 

Global warming is only one aspect of climate change, but the Trumps, the Nigel Lawsons, the climate change deniers, seize upon every cold spell to assert that the whole thing is a left wing conspiracy designed to destroy capitalism (you can bet they see George Soros as its architect). And that is why they don’t want to believe it, why they studiously ignore the opinion of every reputable scientist, the fact that the Polar Icecap is melting, the succession of hurricanes and cyclones that have lashed the Caribbean and Southern states of America. Because it interferes with the God of Free Trade. Because it means introducing steps which cost money and cut profits, which also alienate the big businesses that give you money. It means aligning yourself with perceived liberals and how can you admit that a liberal is right about anything? So instead you deny, you mock and you talk bollocks about raking and chilly blasts whilst we face dangers far more lethal that the perceived threats from immigrants and Kim Jong Un…… 


We start our review of the week’s fashion follies with actress Gretchen Mol wearing Batsheva.

Gretchen is really pretty but here she just looks shiny and weird, like a cross between Alice in Wonderland and the bride of Chucky.

Next up, we meet American entertainer Billy Porter wearing Rinat Brodach.



Look, WTF likes a laugh as much as the next person but this is just ridiculous. The hat is good, but not the matchy-matchy maternity top and the gossamer pink coat, as slippery as a used condom.

 To the Latin Grammys in California and singer Rosalia wearing YolanCris.

The Sugar Plum Fairy goes clubbing….

Also present at the Awards was singer Pedro Capó  wearing a most remarkable suit.

Pedro’s work is unknown to WTF but that is one hell of a suit, in essence a backgammon board with too short trousers worn with brogues and no socks – which, as regular Readers will know, WTF hates almost above all things.

To Shanghai and actress Amber Heard at some event or other, wearing Celine.

That is not so much as a tit window as a tit atrium. And WTF does not even want to think about what happens when she sits down……

Meet actor Marcus Scribner at the 100th episode party of Black-ish, wearing who can even say what?

Apparently this was worn as a homage to Prince, run up by Marcus’ mum from a pair of old curtains. Didn’t poor Prince suffer enough without having this heinous horror perpetrated in his name?

And here is actor Laurence Fisburne at the same event, wearing something scandalously bad.

Laurence was mesmerisingly sexy in his prime, but he seems to have let himself go. I mean, what is going on here? The trousers are out of some Sharjah souk and are paired, quite inexplicably, with a tallit (the Jewish prayer shawl). Is Laurence trying to bridge the gap between Judaism and Islam? Or was WTF aficionado Philippa Charles right when she asked “are those trousers on L Fishburne or did he have to do some crafty work with a tablecloth after an unfortunate spillage/splittage???

To the Soul Train awards in Santa Monica and singer Justine Skye.

For the busy working woman. this is the perfect compromise – a couture pantsuit with built in dusters so that you just brush up against things and get your housework done as you walk. Genius!

Finally, fashionista and singer Erykah Badu wearing Rick Owens.

No, you are not seeing things. The coat is constructed from scaffolding nicked from a building site and WTF confesses to confusion about what is occurring around the nether regions where the shiny black corset, like a cockroach’s carapace, ends in a minge triangle. And then there seem to be boots and random drapes and all sorts. Meanwhile the face jewellery is the lovechild of an old fashioned telephone headset and a ball gag as seen on Marcellus in Pulp Fiction.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF who has had enough of Cheryl‘s attempts to convince us that she can sing. Because she can’t. Not even at all. This week, she popped up on X Factor, the show on which she used to be a judge, yowling like a scalded cat, licking her hand, and generally making a show of herself, causing viewers to hide behind their own sofas with their hands over their ears.

Cheryl gave an interview in The Guardian (why??????) and said that should her latest comeback be met with negativity, she would walk away. Cheryl, those boots are made for walking. You’ve Got to Go. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. It has been a bit of a shit-show this week, but bear with me, normal service will be resumed next Friday. In the meantime, send in your comments and your suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x

This entry was posted in Celebrity, Celebrity Fashion Disasters, Climate Change, Donald Trump, Fashion, Fashion Disasters, Kim Jong Un, Uncategorized, Worst Dressed Celebrities and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to WTF Rake Special

  1. Lottie says:

    Amber Heard has clearly put her dress on back to front, but I think describing her as an actress is a bit much. It is like calling me a chef just because I can make toast. Or like calling Cheryl Tweedy-Cole-multiple-unpronounceable-surnames a singer.

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