Last Saturday, WTF was so outraged by everyone and everything that she practically exploded. She was put on the Twitter naughty step and was generally homicidal and downright furious. (Admittedly, this was not helped by Arsenal losing at home to Manchester United). At about 9 pm, her friend Dave emailed her to suggest she have a large drink and an early night (neither involving him). WTF replied that she was operating on the hypothesis that everyone was a c**t. Whilst that may have been somewhat broad (and of course, dear Readers, there are exceptions to that designation), the general principle still holds good. Good God, why are so many shits prospering and why are so many credulous fools allowing them to prosper?
Take Brexit. Early this morning we have scraped together some sort of deal to proceed onto the next stage of negotiations, preserving the present status of the Irish border and the rights of EU citizens here and there and we are still in for at least two more years. It will cost us (as yet untold) billions just to leave, despite what the idiot David Davis told us. A deal was almost reached on Monday but was scuppered when the malignant dinosaurs that are the Democratic Unionist Party, whose support Theresa May bought with a billion pounds of our money, objected to the proposals about the Border. Who knows what they will have been promised to get to today’s deal? The Irish Prime Minister, Leo Varadkar, was attacked for putting the interests of his country before ours, the abuse heaped upon him obviously exacerbated by his being gay and half-Indian. And during the week, Davis admitted to a Commons Select Committee that there were no impact assessments on the effect of our leaving, although he had said on a previous occasion that Theresa May was reading them. And then he giggled. He giggled! But where is the outrage from those who had previously believed him? There was a time when people resigned for lying. Now they just giggle, blame gay foreigners and carry on letting you pay their fat salaries.
And there is Trump. And Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, who drove a tax bill through the Senate on the middle of the night that no one had actually read, 500 pages affecting people’s lives for decades to come which Democrats were given one hour to peruse. Republicans, with one honourable exception, voted for tax cuts for billionaires, voted for tax-free private planes. This Bill was sold as a tax cut for the Middle Class but next year those cuts will be offset by hikes in everything else to pay for it and cuts in services to those needing them most, whilst the billionaires continue to benefit, putting the billion into Bill. Including Donald J Trump, who told us that the bill would cost him money although the abolition of estate duty will save his family more than a billion dollars and his taxes (if indeed he pays any) are cut by 15%. And all the time, his idiotic fans purr and coo with pleasure whilst being fleeced by a conman. He has poisoned peoples minds, a cancer on the body politic, turning his devotees against Robert Mueller, James Comey the FBI, the CIA, the courts, the media, anyone or anything shedding light on his fraudulence and his vile cultist followers spew poison about them on Twitter and Fox. This Tuesday, an alleged child molester, a rabid, religious maniac who thinks homosexuality is akin to bestiality, will be elected Senator for Alabama with the support of the President of the United States and the GOP because they need his vote. They need it to slash welfare and healthcare. They need it to build a Wall. They need it to elect more conservative, intolerant judges to outlaw abortions, to ban Muslims from coming in, to throw Dreamers out, to deny rights to women and gays. Above all, they need it to prevent this lying, incompetent, blustering, racist, crook from being impeached. This is the world we live in and these are the morons whose votes allow shits to prosper and honesty, integrity and the values we held dear to vanish down the drain.
So yes, WTF is furious because there is a lot to be furious about. And you know what Dave? A large drink and an early night is not going to make it better.
Let us at least smile at the sartorial survey of the last seven days, starting with actress Jennifer Connelly wearing Louis Vuitton.
It seems that granny’s old, discoloured bra blew off the washing line and landed squarely on Jennifer’s chest. What nonsense is this?
Next up, we have fashion blogger Jonysios at Beautycon, London.
His nausea-inducing, ruched trousers have had a serious fallout with his ankles and he is wearing brogues without socks. Meanwhile, the eyebrows! The preposterous pout! The fur! He looks like Joan Crawford as Mildred Pierce.
To the iHeart Radio festival and singer Demi Lovato, wearing Frolov.
It is not often that WTF wishes that someone had worn less but in this case, anything, a bare leg, a prosthetic leg, a table leg, would have been better than one half of these floppy beige slacks worn with a gold lamé, one-limbed toga. And where are her feet?
To the British Fashion Awards in London where a variety of rubbish was available for inspection, including this terrible Burberry trouser suit on model and actress Agyness Deyn.
WTF is astonished that (i) Burberry would design this (ii) someone would wear it. If you found this in the rummage basket at an Oxfam shop, you would shudder and put it back.
And there was singer Zendaya in a silly blonde wig, wearing Vivetta.
She has horses’ heads on her tits. Horses’ heads. Remember that scene in The Godfather? These horses’ heads are bloodless but are distinctly pervy.
There is also the small matter of the baggy illusion panels…..
Oh here he is again. WTF speaks of racing driver Lewis Hamilton, seen here with Donatella Versace. She looks great. Note that his hanging hankie matches her frock.
Lewis is giving us his Twatty McTwatty look with hiking boots and a necklace over a polo neck and the aforementioned hanging hankie in homage to Captain Sparrow. Why does he always have to look like such a knob? Teams of rocket scientists are currently working around the clock to resolve this conundrum.
Finally from this fiesta of fashion farragos, designer Matty Bovan, presumably wearing something of his own design.
This is Madame Butterfly in full kabuki meets Piglet with a side order of silly sleeves. Daft.
TV health pundit, Dr Gillian McKeith is back again.
Gillian has been giving in to her inner showgirl, as she did a few weeks back in similarly revolting fashion. Just because you can does not mean that you should. Go and buy a skirt. If you’re short of cash, WTF is sure that her Readers would willingly each contribute 20p for such a deserving cause.
Another serious stinker, this time on singer Janelle Monáe, wearing Thom Browne.
She has an extraordinarily beautiful face, looks fabulous in that hat and the shoes are great. Everything else is awesomely bad, particularly the crotch-casement, the stupid suspended trouser and the handbag like an upturned Louboutin pump.
This last one come from the London Film Festival in early October this year but WTF missed it. However, it is, without question, one of the worst outfits anyone has ever seen. Brace yourselves. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!
AND HERE IS ANOTHER WARNING TO GO WITH THE FIRST WARNING!!!!
This is so….labial. It is like examining an excited frog’s vagina in 4D. That is quite bad enough but then there are the sparkly clogs and the thick Ms Marple tights and the way the “skirt’ explodes from her waist like a set of overstarched tablecloths. This is a stupendous stinker.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF stalwart Leslie of Lisson Grove who is fed up with the constant assault on his earholes by non-stop Yuletide songs. Leslie writes, “No sooner does the calendar click over to December 1st and it’s like someone fired an ill-tuned starting gun on Christmas Carols. Now, I have no problem with Christmas Carols sung correctly and in an appropriate setting, but it seems that every grocery store is hell bent on reminding me to spend spend, spend like crazy by blasting out the worst of Christmas music ‘sung’ by artists various – Whitney, Britney, Mariah, Pariah etc, who, without the aid of an auto-tune machine, would be unable to carry a tune in a bucket up Regent Street. Supermarket are becoming a no-go area and D.I.Y stores assault our ears with lurid tales of how I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus”. He is right. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep those comments coming in as WTF just loves them to bits. And don’t neglect your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good.
On Brexit: The deal is that people born in NI can retain EU citizenship but everyone else is shafted? What happens on 29 March 2019 to the rest of us? Do we have to apply for separate visas to visit 27 EU countries? Why do we have a ‘devalued’ passport and the Northern Irish don’t? Do they get to keep the maroon coloured passports whilst we revert to the dark blue ones which indicate our impending 3rd world status?
The pained look on the faces of Jennifer Connelly and Agyness Deyn says it all….these so-called fashion houses have completely lost the plot! Would recipients of trust fund $$$ even think of paying out for such nonsense??
I hope you manage to cheer up a bit as we do so love you! ❤️
Just how old is Gillian McKeiffffff!!!! She’s 58, even at 18 you would struggle to pull that off, OMG there are just so many stinkers this week……. Gay boy, whose name I can not remember, and not am inclined to go back and look, should remember that the first rule of the ‘queens club’ it to try and look like Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce – it’s a rite of passage… and the origami dress looks like one of those fortune telling paper things we used to make as a kid – I can tell the fortune of who designed this – seek alternative employment – We loved this weeks – Leslie & Nick
Brilliant as usual. It’s going to be hard to choose a Christmas Turkey this year! I agree with Leslie about Christmas music, although round here it seemed to be much earlier. I really think there should be rule about Christmas starting on December 1st, at the earliest. One store where I live had Halloween,Guy Fawkes and Christmas all running at the same time, and another admitted to starting Christmas music straight after Guy Fawkes night!
Lewis Hamilton is a fashion icon, which is why Donatella chose him to walk her into her tribute. He is fearless, and fashion forward, and a sporting genius. Also, a genuine, sweet wonderful person, as say all who have met him. Blows raspberry!
Hallo Amy! How are you?
*The coming-ever-earlier-to-a-store-near-you Christmas season is a fact of life. Retail is a difficult way to make money. For most of the year you generate enough revenue to pay your bills. It’s not until the Christmas season begins that you hope to make a profit. While I will laugh when I see Christmas trees and Santa Claus displays right after Labor Day (the first Monday in September), I will also cut retailers a lot of slack.
*Matty Bovan looks like Alice Cooper posing for Gustav Klimt.
*I like Zendaya’s blonde wig.
*Agyness Deyn. I don’t have a clue, and neither does she.