So we’re out. It only happened a few hours ago and already the currency is crashing, Nigel Farage thinks he’s Churchill and David Cameron is holed up in his bunker, stunned and shortly to be unemployed. WTF will clearly return to this subject but the primary responsibility is Cameron’s who thought up the referendum ruse as a way of defeating UKIP in 2015. Well that worked well didn’t it? He and Osborne failed to argue the case for staying in and instead tried to terrify everyone with absurd claims of Armageddon. To the list of dishonour add Corbyn who – literally – went on holiday and then did next to nothing, did it reluctantly and would fail to persuade an incontinent man to take a piss. Look forward to a future of rampant xenophobia, Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, the dismantling of employment rights and the NHS and Scotland Scexiting the UK post bloody haste. This is a very bad day. WTF is about to get on a plane to France and is seriously considering whether she should bother to come back. Although given the new value of the Euro, she won’t last long over there…. There will be more on thus next week and in the months to come but they are calling the flight and it is time for BA to do its stuff.
Which is why Referendum week was also designated the week for that other major poll, to whit the WTF Summer Stinker. You can choose from 18 horrendous sartorial shockers from the first half of 2016. Frankly, they are all very bad and so your task is a difficult one. The contenders are in first name alphabetical order and you can choose as many of them you like (none of that Single Transferable Vote malarkey here). Make sure that you vote and tell everyone else you know from your mother to the milkman to vote as well. So don’t just sit there! Start selecting….
1. Anita Hawkins “Author, Model, Philanthropist, Mentor..” wearing who knows what.
Do not adjust your screen. Anita is a walking strobe wearing a circus tent.
2. Anna dello Russo, fashionista, wearing Dolce & Gabbana.
Well, this is emancipating. Not. Visible bra, see-through crinoline, booties and a coronet. Princess Preposterous.
3. Ansel Elgort, actor, wearing Thom Browne.
Ludicrous. What the hell happened to his trousers? Why is he wearing sheer socks? As WTF remarked at the time, he looks like an undertaker dressed as Blade Runner.
4. Bella Hadid, model, wearing Alexandre Vauthier.
Bella is beautiful but there was just no need for her to flash her minge on the Cannes Red Carpet. As for Alexandre Vauthier, he needs to learn the concept of a seam.
5. Blac Chyna, pointless celebrity and about to marry into the Kardashian family.
WTF is going to go out on a limb here and suggest that those tits are not real. She looks like an uncooked (and overstuffed) sausage.
6. David Bailey, photographer, wearing who knows what.
Yes, this is David Bailey, the world famous fashion photographer. Not an elderly tramp taking the air after a night in a cardboard box. And to make matters worse, he was on his way to the wedding of Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch. It is a wonder that they let him in.
7. Dencia, singer, wearing who knows what.
As WTF remarked at the time, this appears to be a sort of mobile toy tidy with crystal crotch. And someone has barfed on her boots.
8. Lizzie Cundy, pointless celebrity, wearing CC Couture by Claudia Croazzo.
As if it were not bad enough to be both ubiquitous and pointless, Lizzie compounded matters by wearing this hideous flash-fest to the Asian Awards, thus adding cultural insensitivity to her continuing crimes against fashion.
9. Gwyneth Paltrow, actress, wearing Emilia Wickstead.
Proof positive that you can be covered up from head to toe and still make the Summer Stinker shortlist. Basically, this is a giant baby grow that clings in all the wrong places.
10. Hailee Steinfeld, actress, wearing Rodarte.
The good news is that Hailee is wearing panties. The bad news is that Readers gave themselves a heart attack trying to work out whether she was wearing them or not.
11. James Goldstein, billionaire, wearing who knows what, save that it is designer.
He looks a prat. The adage “more money than sense” made flesh.
12. Kim Kardashian, pointless celebrity, wearing Spanx. Lots of Spanx.
WTF has said this before and she will say it again. You are supposed to wear Spanx under your clothes, not as clothes. And certainly not under a pile of very dead animal.
13. Madonna wearing Givenchy to the Met Gala.
Yes, it’s on show again. Madonna is unable to venture out of doors without flashing her bum. WTF’s only comfort is that the thong harness looks fiendishly uncomfortable.
14. Mutya Bueno, singer, wearing who knows what.
Whatever Mutya is wearing, there is not enough of it. And the tattoos are just plain bloody ugly.
15. and 16. Designer Pam Hogg (right) and model Sadie Pinn, (left) model, both presumably wearing Pam Hogg. You can vote for each of them separately.
Pam and Sadie look as if they are on their way to work – at a fetish club. WTF is not even sure whether Sadie’s outfit actually counts as an outfit at all but it serves as a reminder not to wax just before you go out because she looks like a plucked turkey with freezer burn.
17. Shawn Everett, sound producer, wearing who knows what.
Shawn won a Grammy for sound production but will he also win the coveted Summer Stinker for this preposterous getup? He looks as if engineered from the various parts of a hippie, an Amish, a psychedelic schoolgirl and a lumberjack.
18. Z LaLa, electro-singer, wearing a bell.
How do you sit down in this? How do you pee? How mad do you have to be to wear this outfit? Z LaLa specialises in novelty costumes for Music Awards Red Carpets but she seems to have excelled herself here….
OK Readers, now that you have made your selection or selections, off you go! Get voting! The blog will resume normal service again next Friday, where we will consider the results both of this Poll and that other Poll thing that took place this week – you know the Euro-thingy….. be good xTake Our Poll
Tough choices, as always.
I chose to ignore those choices who make a living by dressing provocatively. Considering them just feeds their egos. I opted for those who left their houses sincerely believing that they were trendy, fashionable, or ahead of the curve.
Starting with the old guys. You hit the metaphorical nail on the head with David Bailey and the cardboard box. It’s a pity you couldn’t use a real hammer and nails.
James Goldstein looks to be an homage to the Village People musical group. All of them. Simultaneously (and now the song “YMCA” is playing in my head and won’t go away, my day is ruined).
Anita Hawkins is wearing one of the black light posters I used to have in my bedroom in the late 1960s-early 70s. All I need now is a lava lamp and the long version of Iron Butterfly’s “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”, on vinyl, with the appropriate scratches, skips, and that one place where it repeats forever (and those of you who are too young to know what I’m talking about, go ask your grandparents).
The younger generation isn’t getting out unscathed. Ansel Elgort looks as if he left the house truly thinking he looked fabulous, only to have that “oh shit” moment of revelation as he stood in front of the photographers that maybe it looked like Mommy Dressed Me.
You are wrong to generalize the reaction to Haillee Steinfeld. I felt cheated. If you’re going to wear an outfit like that, what’s the point of wearing panties.
Top marks to WTF for such an up to date editorial – excellent.
I await your considered remarks on the act of hari kari by the Leave voters…..