Hallo Readers,

Last week, WTF held forth in her imitable way about the vile Mayoral campaign conducted by Tory candidate Zac Goldsmith which vilified and smeared the Labour candidate, Sadiq Khan. It was said that Khan supported terrorism and would endanger London’s security.  In Parliament, Call Me Dave took advantage of Parliamentary Privilege to libel imam Suliman Gani, with whom Khan had shared platforms in the past. Dave told the House of Commons that Gani was a supporter of ISIS. There was no evidence to support that statement and Khan had spoken out publicly for years against some of Gani’s less liberal views. Michael Fallon, Secretary of State for Defence, described Khan as “a Labour lackey who spoke alongside extremists”. The people of London held up two fingers at Zac and Call Me Dave and Fallon and voted Khan in with a large majority.

On the following morning, Fallon shuffled onto the Today programme where he was asked repeatedly whether he welcomed Khan’s election and whether London was less safe now that it had its first Muslim Mayor. Fallon repeatedly dodged the question and eventually mumbled something to the effect that London would be safe because Khan was working alongside a Conservative Government. When taxed about his party’s campaign, he replied, “in the rough and tumble of politics, you get stuff said, questions asked…I think it is right that candidates for some of the most important offices in Britain do get scrutinised about their past associations.”

To which WTF asks, why? Why is it OK to smear your opponents and treat others as collateral damage and then dismiss it as the “rough and tumble of politics?”. What happened to decency and integrity and reasoned political argument? Dismissing smears as “the rough and tumble of politics” is like describing sexual harassment as “the rough and tumble of courtship”  or a pub brawl as “the rough and tumble of an evening out”. “Rough and tumble of politics”,  my backside. The more accurate term for it is falsehood. And the mere fact that Fallon even attempted to justify it is disgraceful. But then it was Fallon who described Ed Miliband during the last election as the man who “stabbed his brother in the back”.

However, Fallon made a fatal mistake. He forgot that Parliamentary Privilege does not apply to statements made outside the House and Gani instructed m’Learned Friends to get busy with a libel claim, which they did. That same day it was threatened, Fallon was forced into a grovelling apology and no doubt will be forking out the folding to Mr Gani whilst m’learned friends gambol around Lincoln’s Inn Fields shouting Hallelujah and uncorking the Krug. I trust that the long-suffering taxpayers are not footing Fallon’s bill (and, presumably Gani’s, whose costs will have to be paid as part of any settlement).  Let this be a lesson for Fallon. The “rough and tumble of politics” ends up in the rough and tumble of litigation. And the loss of public respect.


We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam at the Kentucky Derby with skaters Tara Lipinski wearing Mark Zunino and Johnny Weir wearing a Kerin Rose Gold hat.

Tara has a garden on her head. Johnny is dressed as a particularly camp medical orderly and is sporting what looks like a birthday cake with a My Little Pony pink mane. Apparently he was wearing it for charity. WTF would pay a large sum of money to make him go away…

Also present was actor and fashionista Carson Kressly, seen here with Dancing with the Stars‘  Kym Johnson.

Kym is wearing a crown but otherwise looks fine. Carson however…. what’s to like? First, it is psychedelic. Second, it is a shorts suit, originally brought to us by Thom Browne, for whom a horsewhipping is insufficient punishment. Third, it is worn with a pink shirt and matching tie. Finally, he is doing that David Furnish, open-mouthed “I’ve-just-got-laid” pose that drives WTF mental. To be fair, most things drive WTF mental.  That said, the suit would enrage a saint.

Next, we visit the Imagine Ball, where we encounter singer and environmentalist Natasha Bedingfield wearing who knows what…

Natasha is dressed as a pantomime boy in a cloak made from Quality Street wrappers.

It is terribly, terribly, terrible, made worse by nude fishnet tights. WTF tried to imagine Natasha wearing something, anything, approximating a decent outfit and then gave up because it would be an occurrence rarer than rocking horse shit.

To the Logies, the Australian TV Awards,where we find singer and celebrity sister, Dannii Minogue, wearing Aelkemi.

From the neck up, Dannii looks lovely. From the neck down, she looks like an exploded turkey.

To Cannes for the Film Festival. We shall spend a lot of time in the next fortnight looking at the Red Carpet Nonsense but here is a little taster with actress Araya R Hargate wearing Ralph & Russo.

The ultimate loo-roll cover. Pass the Andrex…

Here is diva Mariah Carey flashing her bits and pissed as a fart when out and about on the town.

If Mariah wants to get pissed, let her get pissed. But there is a vast expanse of tit. And, when you see the rear view, a vast expanse of rear.

At what point did it become mandatory to flash your arse? WTF is unsure whether that big black thing on the right buttock is a huge wart or a teeny tattoo, but she does know that she does not want to see it. Or the buttock on which it is situated. Or the matching buttock. Or at all.

And finally, a very terrible sight. Feast your eyes upon la crème de la crème of British Womanhood, (Reality TV Version). Here are (*shudders*) Olivia Walsh, Jemma Lucy and Charlotte Dawson, the latter being the winner of the WTF Christmas Turkey 2015.

Behold a trio of talentless, titsy, tackiness, all of them the colour of burnt umber. One struggles to find an original part between the three of them. Jemma is the worst by reason of (i) those appalling bouncing breasts and (ii) the fact that she has drawing all over her.  Depressing, isn’t it?

This week’s It’s Got To Go concerns Portico, the service provider providing receptionist services to PwC, the accountancy giant. Nicola Thorp, 27, arrived at a PwC office as a temp to find herself reprimanded for not wearing high heels. She was told to go out and buy a pair of shoes with heels between 5cm and 10cm high. She was also told that she had to wear make up and was supplied with a colour chart of “acceptable shades”. Nicola refused and was sent home. Following an outcry, Portico has “reviewed” its policy and flatties are now fine. And quite right too. You can bet that the dress code was devised by men. Let them try standing in 10cm heels all day and see how they like it…….

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. The comments flowed in last week, so keep them coming and make WTF smile. Your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go are also highly treasured. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x

6 responses to “WTF Rough and Tumble Special”

  1. Whilst predisposed to like Amal Clooney, she had a wardrobe malfunction last night in Cannes to rival that of Waity Katey, to borrow WTF’s lingo,a few fairly serious minge moments,very distracting which is not good while one is trying to concentrate on George…

    As always this week had me howling with laughter.

  2. *What is it about a horse race that inspires people to dress like this. My paternal grandfather had a penchant for a day at the racetrack and he just considered it an opportunity to drink beer (to be fair, he considered nearly everything as an opportunity to drink beer).
    *Tara Lipinski is still a celebrity? You’re kidding. And I thought that the gelding standing next to her looked to be wearing My Little Pony’s tail.
    *Amaya R. Hargate looks to be wearing a gown made of the same bubble wrap material that is used to stuff into cardboard boxes to protect the contents during shipping.
    *My guess was partially right. While the exposed arse isn’t Madonna’s again, it is a buttock being flashed in a manner worthy of the proud Kardashian tradition.
    *At first I thought Jemma Lucy had a UPC barcode tattooed to her leg. Oh the jokes I could make about that. But not in a public forum.
    *It’s Got To Go. Seriously? It is 2016. In the U.S. the only jobs that require women to wear five inch heels to work involve strippers and pole dancers. Any major company would have ditched a similar dress code requirement decades ago after losing the first couple of multi-million dollar lawsuits.
    *You have to realize that nothing you write about the “rough and tumble” of British politics can possibly match the 2016 presidential campaign here in the United States. The Republican Party has nominated a cartoon character come to life right off the animator’s drawing board, and while the probable Democratic Party nominee Hillary Clinton is a remarkable woman, she has an extraordinarily tin ear as far as her audiences go. Last week she was campaigning in West Virginia promising to close down coal mines for the good of the environment. Everyone living in West Virginia either works in the coal industry or is related to someone who works in the coal industry or has a job that needs the coal industry to exist.

    1. Lord Dodo

      Andrew – for your delectation as we are not FB friends (otherwise you might have seen it) – and indeed as WTF_eek sticks close to Twitter, neither has she seen it (although she is in reality one of my absolute BF’s). This was what your presidential likely-to-be candidate said of our newly elected London Mayor last week:

      ‪#‎DonaldJTrump‬ : Of Sadiq Khan’s election as London Mayor he just said: “I think it’s a very good thing, and I hope he does a very good job because frankly that would be very, very good. Because I think if he does a great job, it will really — you lead by example, always lead by example. If he does a good job and frankly if he does a great job, that would be a terrific thing.”

      And this is the man that might possibly become the next US President? God help us all.

      1. Rebecca. Thank you. Don’t know if I should be impressed or merely amused that Donald Trump even knows that London has a mayor.
        To be fair, until Londoners elected a Muslim mayor, most Americans neither knew the name of the Mayor of London nor felt embarrassed that they didn’t. The only reason I know of Boris Johnson and his political principles (and how’s that for an oxymoron) is his occasional mention in this publication (“dangling like a highwayman on a gibbet” after a publicity stunt gone bad is a classic).

      2. Lord Dodo

        I suspect he only knew because he was asked his ‘opinion’ and had to give an answer. Perhaps that it his excuse for his utterly crass comments…

  • Andrew, you beat me to it. That thing Amaya Hargate does look just like a load of pink bubble wrap.

    Love that red one shouldered peplum top and dkirt combo thingy. Needs better shoes though.

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