wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Last week, WTF held forth in her imitable way about the vile Mayoral campaign conducted by Tory candidate Zac Goldsmith which vilified and smeared the Labour candidate, Sadiq Khan. It was said that Khan supported terrorism and would endanger London’s security.  In Parliament, Call Me Dave took advantage of Parliamentary Privilege to libel imam Suliman Gani, with whom Khan had shared platforms in the past. Dave told the House of Commons that Gani was a supporter of ISIS. There was no evidence to support that statement and Khan had spoken out publicly for years against some of Gani’s less liberal views. Michael Fallon, Secretary of State for Defence, described Khan as “a Labour lackey who spoke alongside extremists”. The people of London held up two fingers at Zac and Call Me Dave and Fallon and voted Khan in with a large majority.

On the following morning, Fallon shuffled onto the Today programme where he was asked repeatedly whether he welcomed Khan’s election and whether London was less safe now that it had its first Muslim Mayor. Fallon repeatedly dodged the question and eventually mumbled something to the effect that London would be safe because Khan was working alongside a Conservative Government. When taxed about his party’s campaign, he replied, “in the rough and tumble of politics, you get stuff said, questions asked…I think it is right that candidates for some of the most important offices in Britain do get scrutinised about their past associations.”

To which WTF asks, why? Why is it OK to smear your opponents and treat others as collateral damage and then dismiss it as the “rough and tumble of politics?”. What happened to decency and integrity and reasoned political argument? Dismissing smears as “the rough and tumble of politics” is like describing sexual harassment as “the rough and tumble of courtship”  or a pub brawl as “the rough and tumble of an evening out”. “Rough and tumble of politics”,  my backside. The more accurate term for it is falsehood. And the mere fact that Fallon even attempted to justify it is disgraceful. But then it was Fallon who described Ed Miliband during the last election as the man who “stabbed his brother in the back”.

However, Fallon made a fatal mistake. He forgot that Parliamentary Privilege does not apply to statements made outside the House and Gani instructed m’Learned Friends to get busy with a libel claim, which they did. That same day it was threatened, Fallon was forced into a grovelling apology and no doubt will be forking out the folding to Mr Gani whilst m’learned friends gambol around Lincoln’s Inn Fields shouting Hallelujah and uncorking the Krug. I trust that the long-suffering taxpayers are not footing Fallon’s bill (and, presumably Gani’s, whose costs will have to be paid as part of any settlement).  Let this be a lesson for Fallon. The “rough and tumble of politics” ends up in the rough and tumble of litigation. And the loss of public respect.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion flotsam at the Kentucky Derby with skaters Tara Lipinski wearing Mark Zunino and Johnny Weir wearing a Kerin Rose Gold hat.

Tara has a garden on her head. Johnny is dressed as a particularly camp medical orderly and is sporting what looks like a birthday cake with a My Little Pony pink mane. Apparently he was wearing it for charity. WTF would pay a large sum of money to make him go away…

Also present was actor and fashionista Carson Kressly, seen here with Dancing with the Stars‘  Kym Johnson.

Kym is wearing a crown but otherwise looks fine. Carson however…. what’s to like? First, it is psychedelic. Second, it is a shorts suit, originally brought to us by Thom Browne, for whom a horsewhipping is insufficient punishment. Third, it is worn with a pink shirt and matching tie. Finally, he is doing that David Furnish, open-mouthed “I’ve-just-got-laid” pose that drives WTF mental. To be fair, most things drive WTF mental.  That said, the suit would enrage a saint.

Next, we visit the Imagine Ball, where we encounter singer and environmentalist Natasha Bedingfield wearing who knows what…

Natasha is dressed as a pantomime boy in a cloak made from Quality Street wrappers.

It is terribly, terribly, terrible, made worse by nude fishnet tights. WTF tried to imagine Natasha wearing something, anything, approximating a decent outfit and then gave up because it would be an occurrence rarer than rocking horse shit.

To the Logies, the Australian TV Awards,where we find singer and celebrity sister, Dannii Minogue, wearing Aelkemi.

From the neck up, Dannii looks lovely. From the neck down, she looks like an exploded turkey.

To Cannes for the Film Festival. We shall spend a lot of time in the next fortnight looking at the Red Carpet Nonsense but here is a little taster with actress Araya R Hargate wearing Ralph & Russo.

The ultimate loo-roll cover. Pass the Andrex…

Here is diva Mariah Carey flashing her bits and pissed as a fart when out and about on the town.

If Mariah wants to get pissed, let her get pissed. But there is a vast expanse of tit. And, when you see the rear view, a vast expanse of rear.

At what point did it become mandatory to flash your arse? WTF is unsure whether that big black thing on the right buttock is a huge wart or a teeny tattoo, but she does know that she does not want to see it. Or the buttock on which it is situated. Or the matching buttock. Or at all.

And finally, a very terrible sight. Feast your eyes upon la crème de la crème of British Womanhood, (Reality TV Version). Here are (*shudders*) Olivia Walsh, Jemma Lucy and Charlotte Dawson, the latter being the winner of the WTF Christmas Turkey 2015.

Behold a trio of talentless, titsy, tackiness, all of them the colour of burnt umber. One struggles to find an original part between the three of them. Jemma is the worst by reason of (i) those appalling bouncing breasts and (ii) the fact that she has drawing all over her.  Depressing, isn’t it?

This week’s It’s Got To Go concerns Portico, the service provider providing receptionist services to PwC, the accountancy giant. Nicola Thorp, 27, arrived at a PwC office as a temp to find herself reprimanded for not wearing high heels. She was told to go out and buy a pair of shoes with heels between 5cm and 10cm high. She was also told that she had to wear make up and was supplied with a colour chart of “acceptable shades”. Nicola refused and was sent home. Following an outcry, Portico has “reviewed” its policy and flatties are now fine. And quite right too. You can bet that the dress code was devised by men. Let them try standing in 10cm heels all day and see how they like it…….

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. The comments flowed in last week, so keep them coming and make WTF smile. Your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go are also highly treasured. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x