wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

WTF is going off on a six-week sabbatical, so you will have to fend for yourselves for the foreseeable future. She will of course be bringing you a US election special on 8 November 2024, three days after the vote, and with any luck we should know the result by then.

In the meanwhile, should you be stark staring mad, bored to death or someone with more money than sense, or all of the above, you could delve into two recent political memoirs, those penned by, or on behalf of, Melanoma Trump and Boris Johnson. Both of them boil down to the fact that nothing was their fault, not even at all, and that they were ill served by everyone around them, and are in every way perfect. Melanoma defends her refusal to put out a tweet decrying violence on 6 January 2021 by saying that she had no idea what was going on outside the White House, and was far too busy organising a photo shoot for a restored rug (WTF is not making this up) and that nobody told her anything. Of course, if she had asked her husband, which would have involved talking to him, which we know she does not do if she can help it, he would have told her, as he maintained this week, that it had been a ‘day of love’.  In which case, WTF dreads to think what a day of protest would have looked like. Johnson, similarly bathed in the retrospective golden glow, continues to maintain that he did nothing wrong whatsoever and was on course to win the next election, that he had delivered a triumphant Brexit and that he was the greatest Prime Minister since Winston Churchill. Both these chancers, Melanoma and Johnson, will make a shed-load of money from continuing the deception which is their modus operandi…. 

Greed is nothing new, and neither Melanoma nor Johnson made any secret of their desire to line their pockets. Indeed, when Melanoma sued the Daily Mail back in 2021 for insinuating that she had been a paid escort before her marriage to Trump, part of her claim was that the libel would prevent her from money-making opportunities in her position as First Lady. Such was the outcry at this venality that she withdrew that part of the claim and blamed her lawyers for pleading it without her consent. When in opposition, the Labour Party took a high moral tone at the financial excesses of Johnson and Co, suggesting that when and if they ascended to power, they would behave in an altogether more appropriate manner. Except that we now find out that they were awash in theatre tickets and concert tickets and £2,400 spectacles (how the hell do Starmer’s spectacles cost that much when they look like they come off the bargain shelf at Boot’s?) and MeandEm outfits and fancy suits? And although it does not come close to the open corruption displayed by some of the previous members of Tory Front and Back Benches, the PPE scandals, the £100 a roll wallpaper and the very dodgy knighthoods and peerages bestowed on Heaven knows whom, it is still distinctly uncomfortable and very disappointing. Fuck it, the whole thing has been hugely disappointing to date, with a strong and very un-aromatic whiff of amateur hour. Let us hope that by the time WTF returns in December, the Government will have started to get its act together. Here’s hoping.

Keep well,Readers, and pray hard for a Harris victory. See you on Friday 8 November. 

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We start our review of the week’s woeful wear with actor Brandon Wilson wearing who can even say what the hell this is at the London Film Festival premiere of  Nickel Boys. Scroll down in a leisurely fashion…..

Oh Lordy, it was all going so well until the lower calves. The length of the trewsies and the black sock-and-brogues combo are tragic. If a Thai fisherman went to a fancy dress party as Bigfoot at a wedding,  this is what he would look like.

Still at the London Film Festival, here is proper film star Cate Blanchett wearing Rochas.

What is the point of a bracelet sleeve without a bracelet? It is like Rosencrantz without Guildenstern. What is the point of who-needs-matchy-matchy when you put a clashing blue shirt with a mattress-ticking 60’s suit and then add matchy-matchy blue pumps? The whole thing is giving Peggy from Mad Men vibes, and not in a good way.

And finally from London, here is actor James Norton, hair dyed black like Liz Taylor, at the  premiere of Joy, wearing Emporia Armani.

Yurgle. He looks like a jar of mustard in mourning.

We are now in New York at the Victoria’s Secrets party where celebrities turned up wearing less then the lingerie models on the catwalk….. like singer Cardi B.

Well, this is ghastly. There is full vaginal ventilation complete with a pubes peephole, wrapped up in a dead flamingo.

And this is South African singer Tyler, wearing not much at all.

This is not a dress. This is just remnants of fabric randomly attached to Tyla’s torso and putting horrified onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment.

And here is another attendee, Women’s Basketball player Kysre Gondrezick.

And finally, here is legendary singer Cher wearing The Attico……

Now this is officially a shame. Not only has there been half a century’s worth of interference with the workings of nature, but The Attico has clad Cher in Ali Baba chaps and a rockstar-style string vest.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Ayesha from Stepney, who flies regularly on budget airlines between here and somewhere else. She was in a right state when she communicated with WTF this week. Ayesha says ‘Obese passengers on budget airlines should be banned from consuming Pringles, Twix, Tasty Toasty melts and coffees with extra milk and sugar. Instead, they should be required to pack (and to display during security inspections), a small container of sliced carrot and celery.’ It is not just the sight and sound of these people munching and slurping, it is also the smell of what they are eating.

She is right. It’s Got to Go.  

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your tip top comments coming through and your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again on Friday 8 November 2024. Be good x