wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

When WTF first went to university and got her first cheque-book, she found it terribly exciting that you could scribble your name on an oblong piece of pink paper and get things. By the end of the first term, she had an overdraft. WTF Père sat down with her and explained how the arrangement is supposed to work, to whit, you were only supposed to spend the money that is in the account and that you did not need for something else. He paid off the overdraft and that was the last time he ever did it or had to do it. Since then, other than a lump sum from her family to put towards her first home, everything she has ever bought, she has paid for herself. Sadly, she was never in a position to benefit from the old Yiddish phrase, “yenems ist besser”, roughly translated as “someone else paying is better than you paying”.

Sir Keir Starmer, for all his emphasis on his working-class credentials and self-made mannery, seems to have opted for the “someone else paying is better than you paying” option. In this case, the seemingly bottomless coffers of Lord Alli, a clothing tycoon who has been lavish with his lolly. Not only did he pay for some of Starmer’s suits and spectacles, but he seems to have stumped up some £20,000 towards Lady Starmer’s wardrobe, including the tailoring costs for alterations. So when we all admired that lovely red dress from MeandEm in which she floated into Downing Street on July 5, little did we know that Lord Alli had forked out for it. We did not know because Starmer, or someone on behalf of Starmer,  forgot to declare it on the House of Commons Interests Register. Tories MPs are frothing with indignation, although they can fuck right off, given the massive schnorrer that was Boris Johnson during his time in Downing Street. But Labour MPs are also pointing out that it is not a good look for a Labour Prime Minister preaching austerity to cut fuel allowance for people on a very low budget while simultaneously getting a member of the nobility to pay for his togs and those of his fragrant wife. Not to mention the fact that Starmer earns about £160,000 a year plus a generous DPP pension and has two free houses to live in. And the little matter that just after the Election in July 2024, this self-same Lord Alli was given a security pass to come and go into Downing Street for reasons that were never very adequately explained.

WTF is willing to overlook the box that Arsenal has bestowed upon the Prime Minister, because it clearly would not be safe for him to sit in his normal seat, given the security implications. But accepting freebies from someone who then gets the freedom of No. 10 is a different matter altogether. It stinks. Politics is what you see and what you feel, not just what you know. There is a very good argument for a State allowance giving the PM and their spouse a clothing allowance. You need to look the part or some snarky bastard like WTF takes the piss out of you.  You are representing the country. But do not go private on this one because the appearance of impropriety will kill you and break the hearts of those people who had hoped you were better than your predecessors.

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We start our week’s survey of crummy clobber  at the Emmys, where we find Canadian actor Dan Levy (Schitt’s Creek) wearing Loewe.

As you know, criticism is alien to WTF’s nature, but try as she may, she cannot get past the fact that he is wearing a napkin which someone skilled in origami has crafted into a boat. Also, those trousers are a tad tight. The zip is perilously placed, putting worried  onlookers in immediate fear of  imminent penis peek. 

Next, another Canadian actor, Devery Jacobs, (Reservation Dogs) wearing Act No 1.

This is a very baffling outfit. WTF looked at it and looked at it before it came to her… Anyone who has seen the movie Casablanca – and if you haven’t, what the hell have you been doing with your life? – will recall that after Humphrey Bogart in his tux tells Sam to play his and Ingrid Bergman’s favourite song, (contrary to myth he never says “Play it again, Sam”, and neither does she), he puffs moodily on his cigarette and smoke fills the screen as we go into a flashback of their carefree days in Paris before the Nazis marched in.

This is a person called Chris Olsen, who apparently is an influencer with a zillion followers. The designer of this ensemble has not owned up – good call.

Man cleavage should never be a thing, not even ever, and especially when you have a pasty chest. As for the suit, it is reminiscent of the sort of thing that used to be worn by Edwardian bathing belles at Brighton.

After the Emmys ceremony, Disney threw a party attended by our old friend, singer Rita Ora and her husband, film producer Taika Waititi.

He looks like a cruise director and she changed from a perfectly pretty pink gown into the usual mingefest. The detailing around the crotch looks like an intricate vajazzle. 

And now to the Toronto International film festival. This is actor Sydney Sweeney wearing McQueen.

WTF aficionado Hannah from Herne Hill (yes, really) contacted WTF to bring this dress to her attention and said “she’s so young and beautiful. Why would she choose to make one tit big and making a break for her knees and the other flat and high?” Good question, Hannah. Why indeed? And the tits are white while the rest of her is tanned, making them resemble a couple of mismatched pale moons. 

And now, here is actor Sarah Paulson wearing Schiaparelli.

To her credit, Sarah is not afraid to experiment. Sadly, however, as a result of this experiment, she looks like one of the Wildings from Game of Thrones. It is cold beyond the Wall. But even they never went blue….

And finally, meet Scottish actor Ella Hunt wearing Danielle Frankel.

If a pink condom went to a fancy dress party as a diseased giant artichoke heart, this is what it would look like.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington, albeit temporarily relocated to the Athens coast, who continues to be aghast by Donald Trump’s makeup. That he is an evil, lying, racist piece of shit is no longer surprising, albeit heartbreaking. But if  he is to go about with his face the colour of a rancid kumquat, at least put the stuff he uses on properly! I mean look at this…

 What’s with the two tone? It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your tip top comments coming through and your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday, Be good x