wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Never mind the heroics of the English at Agincourt or of the Allies storming  the Normandy beaches. Nothing demonstrates a commitment to freedom and to upholding the true spirit of our Nation (or at least the English section of it) than breaking into a Greggs to liberate sausage rolls and doughnuts, or looting ShoeZone for an armful of pastel coloured Crocs or busting down the doors of Lush and emerging triumphant with armfuls of bath bombs and smelly soap. Readers may be puzzled as to what any of the above may have to do with getting our country back, protesting about Muslims and their perceived intent to murder everyone in sight or honouring the memory of the three little girls fatally stabbed while attending a Taylor Swift dance class. The answer of course is that it doesn’t, any more than throwing bricks at policemen, setting fire to vehicles, beating up members of the emergency services, spitting or claiming the capture of a traffic island with the same degree of pride as those who yomped into Port Stanley in 1982. All of which activities were carried out by our citizens over the past two weeks, allegedly further to their genuine concerns about  this precious stone set in the silver sea, this England.  Some of them may have harboured those concerns. Many were along for the ride with a side order of new shoes or toiletries thrown in. Some clearly were enjoying the violence. WTF witnessed a number of freedom fighters without a brain cell between them, including the woman who pushed a burning wheelie bin towards police lines but forgot to let go, leaving her sprawling on the pavement, legs and arms akimbo whilst her partner in crime legged it, and the plankton who aggravated a police dog and then let out a high C last emitted by the late Maria Callas when bitten on the bum by the said dog. But apparently we are supposed to treat them with respect as concerned citizens and to deplore the fact that justice has suddenly rolled into action at unprecedented speed as one by one they appear in the magistrates’ courts and the crown courts and are dispatched to spend time at His Majesty’s pleasure. As if criminal damage and affray and assault and riot should not be punished as criminal offences, even when committed by criminals. There was outrage that Keir Starmer pledged to defend minority communities under threat and described those committing the offences as right-wing thugs. He was criticised for being divisive. Divisive! The truth hurts, doesn’t it? This was violence carried out and orchestrated by right wing thugs, aided and abetted by thickoes and drunkards. And they all deserve exactly what is coming to them.

As does Nigel Farage, busily trying to pretend that he was only asking questions and passing on information from such rock solid sources as the influencer Andrew Tate; as does thuggery made flesh, Tommy Robinson, directing hostilities from his sunbed in Cyprus, spreading lies and disaffection while simultaneously complaining that his kiddies’ holiday has been ruined by intrusive press; and all the other half-wits and troublemakers who declared war on the government and then fucked off abroad leaving the hoi polloi to face the consequences. Putting the genie back in the bottle is never as easy as letting it out. Let us hope that swift government response, and the stirring example of the crowds who came out to protest at the violence, has dampened this stuff down. And the police action against those opposing the riots who have called for or perpetrated violence, is as robust and swift.

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We start in our review of the week’s woeful wear in Los Angeles with actor Donald Glover at an event to mark six Emmy nominations for his series Mr and Mrs Smith, wearing Fear of God.

Never mind wearing Fear of God, he is certainly putting it into WTF with his toddler trousers held up with a bootlace and his cat-poo-coloured top with its collar like a collapsed monk’s cowl.

Next up, we have singer Kesha wearing Namilia.

Before WTF saw Kesha in this ludicrous pelmet thing, she had been blissfully unaware of the label Namilia. Exploration of its website is a real eye-opener, including an array of barely-there Minge Moment skirts, one of them bearing the charming slogan Cunting Season. And if that doesn’t scream Class, WTF does not know what does.  As for Kesha, clipping a mock-Birkin bag onto your fishnet tights does not count as an outfit. Not even on stage.  If she is going to wear a bag, make it a shopping bag. Extra large,

Another singer in concert, this time Gwen Stefani . 

If a rag doll had gone to Germany as part of the Tartan Army supporting Scotland at the Euros, and had got into a scrap. this is what it would have looked like.

Now we have former Spice Girls artiste and now fashion designer Victoria Beckham wearing herself on the cover of Australian Vogue.

Loyal readers may recall actor Daisy Edgar-Jones wearing a similar dress by Victoria a few weeks ago at the New York premiere of the movie Twisters. Victoria’s version is even worse as it appears to have not one but two sets of Mickey Mouse Ears and not enough skirt.

This is actor Blake Lively, out and about promoting her new movie It Ends with Us in New York,wearing Stella McCartney. 

Yee haw!! If Yosemite Sam went buffalo hunting in a field of flowers, this is what he would look like.

And finally, here is actor Cate Blanchett at a fan event for her new movie Borderlands, wearing Hodakova.

Do not adjust your eyeballs, The top is made from a load of old spoons as Hodakova specialises in recycled fashion. Let us cutlery to the chase.  First, this gives new meaning to the word silverwear. Second, no doubt the intention was to cause quite a stir. What next? Dressing in knives to look sharp? Just silly.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from anyone (a) with eyeballs (b) who is law abiding with a respect for the court process, who should be appalled by Katie Price, 46, the perambulating pile of plastic formerly known as glamour model and multiply-married Jordan. To cut a long story short, Katie has gone bankrupt but rather than abide by the order to turn up at the High Court and explain what is going on to her creditors, instead she flew off to Turkey for her sixth facelift at a cost (to someone) of £10,000. Accompanied by a film crew, her boyfriend, 31, her son Harvey and who knows who else. The judge issued an arrest warrant, but Katie continued her business in Turkey and then paraded around the pool of her hotel heavily bruised and bandaged around her neck and ears and looking like someone who had just stepped out of the Olympic boxing ring with Imane Khelif. Not to mention a gigantic recently inflated pair of knockers. She only flew back last night, whereupon she was arrested for skipping court and carted off into custody for the night.

Seriously?? How does she even manage to stand up? Look, if Katie wants to butcher her body, that is a matter of her. But you do not skip court, particularly bankruptcy court, to spend money when other people are owed money.  She is not above the law.  She’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep your tip top comments coming through and your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday, Be good x