wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

It is a week of sad anniversaries. Two years ago tomorrow, Russia invaded Ukraine without any justification. Everyone, WTF included, expected it to be over in days or weeks with Volodymyr Zelenskyy swinging from a gallows in the middle of Kiev. It did not happen and the heroic resistance continues. To start with, NATO and other countries fell over themselves to praise Zelenskyy and to send him weapons with which to defend his beleaguered nation. But two years on, support in some quarters is waning, not least in parts of the Republican Party, which continues to dance to Donald Trump’s atonal tune. Finance and weaponry for Ukraine have become inextricably tied up with negotiations about the budget (due by 1 March) and about the Southern border, and it does not suit Trump to solve problems at the border and so rob himself of the major campaigning issue. Plus, as we all know, Trump lives in Vladimir Putin’s pocket. And so it is that in the US and elsewhere, there are increasingly loud voices urging Ukraine to negotiate with Russia and to find a peaceful solution with growing criticism of Zelenskyy for his supposed intransigence. No one in their right mind, which clearly excludes Trump and his moronic minions, believes that making peace with Putin would be any sort of solution. Not only would he soon be back for more of Ukraine but he would also then stray yet further, whether that be Poland or Moldova or wherever else might take his fancy.

Which brings us to the other sad anniversary, one week since we learned of the death of Alexei Navalny who died in a Siberian prison camp. The previous day, Navalny had been pictured in seemingly good health, teasing the judge presiding over yet another fabricated trial. Then he was dead. Russian authorities announced he had died of natural causes while simultaneously refusing access to his family on the grounds that there were investigations to be carried out as to how he died. Apparently it is being said that he suffered sudden death syndrome, which tends to happen to people who are murdered,  and which certainly tends to happen to enemies of Putin who have had  the same unfortunate tendency to suffer early deaths, whether by poisoning, defenestration, “suicide” or plane crashes.  Putin is purportedly offended by the outrageous suggestion that he bore any responsibility for Navalny’s death but most of the world’s leaders had no difficulty in pointing the finger in his direction. One future and would-be world leader has been less forthcoming. To date, Donald Trump (who repeatedly has praised Putin’s strength and intelligence) has failed to make any association between Navalny’s demise and Putin and has expressed no sympathy for Navalny’s family. But then why would he? He is yet to criticise Russia for invading Ukraine and this week he showed far more concern for drawing preposterous parallels between himself and his legal woes, all self-inflicted and deserved, and those of a brave  enemy of despotism whose interest was clearly not in himself and his own safety but in saving his country. The fate of Alexei Navalny should certainly be borne in mind by those advocating a Ukrainian capitulation to Putin. And by those who still support Donald Trump.

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We start our review of the week’s sartorial silliness with actor and finalist in last season’s Strictly Come Dancing, Layton Williams wearing soft furnishings to the pre-BAFTA Gala.

There is nothing wrong with the suit and WTF would even be willing to forgive the absence of a top under the jacket, but nothing can excuse those tablecloth chaps. Yee-Haw.

And here is pointless posh person Lady Victoria Hervey wearing a very weird ensemble. Where does she find this stuff?

Lady V is the colour of stewed tea, a shade that even Donald Trump would think had gone a step too far, and she is also guilty of tan lines around the boobs. But the real horror is the outfit. You know when you go and tear off a piece of tinfoil from the roll and screw it up so that you have half the width and twice the length you wanted? That is likely to have happened here, ending in a preposterous trailing thing paired with pantomime boy shorts.

To the actual BAFTA ceremony where we find actor Alison Oliver wearing Loewe.

Alison was the sister in Saltburn and was in one particularly revolting scene with Barry Keoghan, the thought of which still makes WTF shudder, to the extent that she was triggered even by sight of the little splash of red on the corsage. Meanwhile the dress serves as a reminder that no one, not even Alison, can wear satin bias-cut dresses without being triple-Spanxed. As for those fringy things, WTF aficionado Imogen remarked that they look like pubic hairs, in which case they have been both vajazzled to within an inch of their life and sadly misplaced. And no, you are not getting a picture.

Model Naomi Campbell wearing Chanel. Chanel!!!

For some reason, Naomi has come dressed as Queen Victoria in her years of deep mourning for Prince Albert.

Actor Emily Blunt (nominated for Oppenheimer) wearing Louis Vuitton.

This is a Minge Antimacassar incorporating a beaver bauble over a crumpled mini-slip. Frightful.

Actor Colman Domingo wearing Boss.

If a Mississippi riverboat gambler had sex with Joan Collins in her Dynasty days, this is what their love  child would have looked like.

 

Actor Emma Corrin wearing Miu Miu.

Emma prefers to go by they/them rather than she/her. Well, they/them are wearing twin turbans tacked onto a piece of netting over her gym knickers and a pair of tights last seen on medieval minstrel Blondel when he went to rescue Richard the Lionheart. Good abs though….

Actor Rosamund Pike (nominated for Saltburn) wearing Jean Paul Gaultier at the After-Party.

Like mould spores on a condom. Gruesome.

And finally from the BAFTAs, this is composer Daniel Pemberton (nominated for Spiderman across the Spider-Verse) wearing ..er…something.

It is supposed to be covered in spiders’ webs. Geddit? Although, to WTF, it looks a lot more like a large bowl of fruit custard.

To the People’s Choice Awards in LA attended, amongst others, by singer Lenny Kravitz.

 If the lovechild of a riverboat gambler and Joan Collins had sex with Mr Universe (see above), this is what their lovechild would look like. Why is he wearing those ridiculous gauntlets under the rolled-up sleeves of his jacket? However, more good abs, especially for a man of 59.

And rounding off this mega-bonanza Selling Sunset TV person Amanza Smith wearing…well, scroll down slowly and see. This is an early bid for the WTF Summer Stinker 2024 and it is only February,

On her Instagram account, Amanza describes herself as “Mommy, decorator, Luxury real estate agent, mental health advocate, motivational speaker, Selling Sunset Netflix”. WTF needed some mental health advocacy on catching sight of Amanza with what appears to be a frozen Minge Waterfall emanating from a codpiece. 

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Ruth from Canonbury who has taken great exception to the gold sneakers sold by Donald Trump at $399 a pair. They are as gaudy and disgusting as he is, and that is saying something.

They are SO BAD. He is SO BAD. It’s Got to Go. And so does he.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week.  Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x