wtffashionshark

Hallo Reader,

So it looks as if it is going to end happily for the poor postmasters convicted of theft and false accounting in respect of monies that never existed – except, that is, in the fevered malfunction that was the Horizon computer system installed by Fujitsu on behalf of Post Office Ltd. Less than a week after the Nation rose up as one to descry the abysmal treatment by the jobs-worth, profit-seeking Post Office of the deceived people operating their business for them, the Government has decided to pass a law declaring any postmaster convicted as part of this scandal would have their conviction quashed automatically without the need for an appeal. As it happens, WTF is one of those old-fashioned types who prefers justice to be meted out on an individual basis by judges informed of the true facts, but there we are. Of course, this does not solve the problems of those who were not prosecuted but who were bankrupted or denuded of thousands of pounds by the lie fed to them by the Post Office that it was not the computer creating the loss but their own ineptitude or dishonesty. That battle will drag on for a while yet.

Meanwhile, the Government  is casting around for someone to blame other than itself. Former CEO Paula Vennells is top of the kick-list but she was given the CBE by a Tory Prime Minister. Fujitsu’s conduct was also well dodgy, but its former UK CEO is the the husband of Cabinet Minister Gillian Keegan and is also a Tory donor. So other people from other parties must be found to share the blame and pathetic attempts are being made to frame Keir Starmer, although only three of the hundreds of criminal prosecutions were brought by the DPP when he was in charge  and they did not cross his desk – the Post Office brought its own prosecutions.  Attempts by the increasingly frantic Tory Press to Katch Keir on something heinous continue apace. A few weeks ago, he was fingered in The Daily Telegraph for choosing to act for murderers, rapists and other such when he was at the Bar years ago, Never mind that barristers operate on a cab rank principle and cannot pick and choose their clientele. That smear soon hit the buffers but this week The Sun trumpeted that Starmer  had ‘worked for free as a lawyer to save baby killers and axe murderers’.  Reading the story, it turned out that when at the Bar, he had acted pro bono for people across the Commonwealth facing the death penalty, to which Starmer was and remains ideologically opposed. The paper’s editorial admitted that it is also ideologically opposed to it, but maintained that it was different actually to jet off somewhere to save a scumbag. Why, if that is where the person facing the death penalty is located??? You cannot save them from hanging by sitting in London Bridge and printing shite. But shite is coming and in bucketfuls. It almost makes you pray for an early election…..

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We start our review of the week’s atrocious attire with actor, filmmaker and Tiktok influencer Eugene Lee Yang at the Governors Awards wearing who can even say what this is?

The only thing he is influencing WTF to do is to die laughing. He looks like a cross between a Stabilo Boss highlighter pen and a fucking idiot. The sleeves are ludicrous and WTF deplores the sight of his hairy little legs through the slits in the trewsies.

This is actor Emma Stone who won Best Female Actor for her role in Poor Things. She is wearing Fendi.

Emma looked gorgeous at the Golden Globes, but this is an excrescence. It is simultaneously labial and dowdy. The top is like a bed jacket and the skirt slit brings to mind a shimmering minge. And no, you’re not getting a picture.

We move to the Golden Globes Film and TV awards. Here is actor Jason Sudeikis, nominated for the TV show Ted Lasso, wearing something really horrible and silly Nike sneakers.

There are no full photos of Jason and so we have most of the top and some of the bottom, like those games where kiddies put people together with cards. WTF has never liked a brown suit and she particularly deplores this one. There is a reason why shit brown and heather are not usually worn together, and you are looking at it. As for the sneakers, they would just about pass muster on an eleven year old school.

This is actor Emily Blunt, nominated for her role in Oppenheimer. She was good in that, but not good in this creation by Alexander McQueen.

McQueen was going for ethereal but the result is rather more reminiscent of the Versailles Hall of Mirrors and there is every possibility of an imminent Minge Moment.

And now we have actor Barry Keoghan, last seen stark-bollock-naked at the end of Saltburn, a film that WTF found frankly revolting, not because of Barry’s dangly bits but because of various other scenes which she will refrain from describing in case Readers are still eating their breakfast. Barry is wearing Louis Vuitton.

He looks like a Bondage Bellhop. It is surprising that he made it through his hotel lobby without another movie star asking him to take the baggage up to their Suite. WTF also dislikes the fit of the trousers, or rather the lack of it.

Also nominated for Saltburn was actor Rosamund Pike wearing Dior and a Philip Treaty hat.

Rosamund is clearly the lovechild of Betsey Trotwood from David Copperfield and the apple that William Tell shot off the head of his son Walter.

This is singer Billie Eilish wearing Willie Chavarria.

So ugly is this getup that WTF was instantly reminded of Maria in  The Sound of Music  arriving to be the nanny to Captain von Trapp’s seven children in clothes given to her by the Abbey. The Captain is appalled and tells her to put on another dress before meeting her new charges. Maria tells him that she does not have anything else to wear and that when novices enter the Abbey, their clothes go to the poor. ‘What about this one?’ he asks. ‘The poor didn’t want this one”, she replies. Quite. Neither do we.

Here is a newcomer to these pages, actor Utkarsh Ambudkar wearing Atelier Cilian.

If the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz went to a fancy dress party as a mattress, this is what he would look like.

Finally, this is actor Karen Gillan wearing Iris von Herpen. Be careful when you scroll down….

The top is inspired by an elephant’s ears and the bottom is putting appalled onlookers in fear of another imminent Minge Moment. It is bad enough that she already has little tusks growing out of that area. 

This week’s It’s Got Got Go comes from WTF aficionado Dave from Enniskillen in Northern Ireland whose frequent trips to London are marked by the constant public service announcements on the London Underground. They just never shut up. It is like living in North Korea. As well as the constant updates about which lines are and are not running and which are and are not delayed, there is also loads of advice handed out to their ‘customers’. Hold Onto the Handrail. Don’t run as the surfaces may be slippery. Keep Hold of Your Luggage. Take water with you on hot days. And of course the dreaded ‘See It. Say It. Sorted’. It makes noise cancelling headphones positively mandatory. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x