Hallo Readers,
GB News is a TV news channel catering to people who are anti-woke, pro-Brexit and intellectually challenged, a poor man’s Fox News without the New York glitz. Jacob Rees-Mogg has a weekly show on it, for Heaven’s sake, as does 30p Lee Anderson, the deputy chair of the Tory party and Mr Brexit himself, Nigel Farage. Every night, it assails its viewers with a vision of how Britain could be were it only to beat a swift retreat from the European Convention For Human Rights and expel the lefties, the Brexiteers and anyone who strives for equality. In GB News land, migrants would be left to drown in their unseaworthy vessels, everyone would be free to insult and denigrate anybody brown, female or disabled (and preferably all three), women would not have the impertinence to demand equal pay and absolutely nobody would be cancelled for their views, unless of course those views were too left wing. Oh, and Meghan Markle would be publicly humiliated by being put in the stocks with rotten fruit flung at her in perpetuity. It would be like KenLand in the Barbie movie, but with real dicks.
But this week, to the surprise of many, the Channel cancelled not one, but two of its stars after they managed to plumb depths hitherto unexplored, even on that particular outlet. A female journalist called Ava Evans had appeared on TV earlier in the week, and in a discussion on male suicide and the need to appoint a minister for men, just as there is a minister for women, had said ‘you’ve got 7 million children waiting for prescriptions for mental health. It’s a crisis that’s endemic throughout the country, not specific to men, and I think a lot of ministers come and bandy this about to sort of make an enemy out of women’. Such talk was of course anathema to half-witted, rabidly right-wing, former actor-turned-failed-pottymouth-politician Laurence Fox, who popped up to air his repulsive views on the prime time show hosted by former Sun journalist Dan Wootton. Fox was of course entitled to express those views. But what he was not entitled to do was to embark upon an unhinged rant that began ‘Show me a single, self-respecting man that would like to climb into bed with that woman ever… ever.’… He went on to call her ‘a little woman’, claimed that society needed ‘powerful, strong, amazing women who make great points for themselves’ not ‘4.0 feminist’s’ like Evans, accused her of being brainwashed into believing that there was a gender pay gap (what????) and concluded ‘Who’d want to shag that?’. Because of course, nothing better demonstrates a man’s appreciation for strong, powerful, amazing women who make great points for themselves than dividing women into those who talk sense, i.e. agree with the preposterous Fox and therefore merit a shag, and those who hold opposite views and therefore do not deserve contact with his manly member. Meanwhile, Wootton giggled and simpered rather than telling Fox to go and wash his mouth out with soap and water, and, allegedly, ignored the instructions conveyed through his earpiece to shut the conversation down ASAP. Wootton subsequently tried to pretend that he had been shocked and embarrassed by Fox’s conduct, only to have the rug pulled from under him when Fox produced messages between the two showing Wootton sending laugh/ cry emojis to him after the show. Both have now been suspended from the Channel and face disciplinary proceedings on Friday morning (i.e. today). Maybe they will get the heave ho. Both are toxic and there are all manner of other accusations against Wootton concerning his past behaviour and an alleged history of sexual harassment and bullying male colleagues which GB News had so far managed to ignore. But just as Fox News shed the rebarbative Tucker Carlson, there are always many more of a similar hue ready and willing to take their place. And many viewers who will just gobble this shit up and agree with every word Fox said. PS – this is 2023. PPS – the gender pay gap is 9.7%.
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We are in Paris for Paris Fashion week and some very ridiculous garments await your appalled gaze. We start our review of the week’s abject apparel with actor Robert Pattison wearing Dior.
You do not have to be a super-sleuth to spot that Robert’s suit is too big for him. It would be too big for the entire cast of all the Twilight movies put together. Has he had a growth spurt?
We are at the Lancôme party at the Louvre, and posing by the Pyramid was actor Taraji P Henson wearing LaQuan Smith.
If a blueberry went to a fancy dress party as the Turin Shroud in a corset, this is what it would look like.
And if a fisherman went to a bondage party using his nets as a neck-and-arm restraint, this is what he would look like. As for the genitalia guard, WTF prefers not to speak of it.
And here is model and singer Jordyn Woods wandering round Paris wearing who even knows what this is?
WTF’s beloved teddy, who is as old as she is (i.e. older than Methuselah), recently displayed extreme signs of having gone old and was sent off to a teddy hospital for extensive surgery at a cost which could have secured the lease of Hamleys in perpetuity. Jordyn seems to have been rather more ruthless with her former, bedraggled teddy, and instead has turned him into a suit. Note to Jordyn – call in the moth exterminator.
We move to the Marni event where we have rapper Quavo wearing, er, Marni.
Talking of skinning animals, Quavo seems to have come dressed as a Dalmatian.
Also there was rapper Usher, again in Marni.
And Usher has come dressed as a giant ladybird…….. those trainers really are the pits.
Another looney tunes Marni outfit from singer Erykah Badu.
Erykah has nicked a bit of fabric from Quavo and made into headwear fit for the Mad Hatter. (For younger Readers – 10/6 equals 52.5 pence, although it was quite a lot in 1865 when Lewis Carroll wrote Alice in Wonderland). The rest of the outfit is quite jolly apart from the duck teeshirt, while the extensions have been extended further than extensions should be extended. And then some.
Finally, this is model Olga Obumova wearing Hodakova at the Hodakova runway.
She is wrapped in cellophane like a Covid cadaver. God help us.
This week’s It’s Got To Go again comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who is fed up with people attacking Joe Biden’s mental abilities but ignoring the insane uttering from MagaMoron and candidate Donald J Trump. And that is without considering the 91 criminal indictments, finding that he raped a woman in the 1970s and the fact that a judge has just found him to be a fraud and his business crooked.
Recently Trump accused Biden of not being ‘cognitively there’ and added that if Biden were elected, he ‘would start World War 2’. You know World War 2. The one that happened 80 years ago. That World War 2. He has also claimed that he beat Barack Obama in 2016 and was leading him in the polls for the 2024 presidential Election. You know Barack Obama. The one that served two terms from 2008 – 2016. That Barack Obama. I mean, Obama does not look much like Hillary Clinton or Joe Biden, does he? Any more than Trump looks like a normal human being. But that is because Trump is not a normal human being. Or even a human being. Kill me now. He’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x
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