It is an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Barely an hour after a grand jury in New York handed down indictments against Donald Trump, the former President was already launching a fundraising appeal and even as WTF writes this, morons earning very little will be tapping at their keyboards, sending hard- earned dollars to a supposed billionaire for his legal defence. Grifters have got to grift and nobody grifts better than Trump. In the many claims that he makes about his presidency, he can now add an actual true fact, namely that he is the first former president and presidential candidate to be indicted. And more indictments are coming down the conveyor belt. You wait 230 years for criminal charges and, like 5th Avenue buses, they all arrive at once. This one is to do with Trump paying off porn star Stormy Daniels In order to prevent the public learning about an alleged sexual encounter in 2006, long before he had entered politics but only months after third wife Melania had given birth to their son Barron. Neither poking a porn star nor buying her silence is a criminal offence. However, getting your dodgy lawyer, Michael Cohen, to make the payment and reimbursing him over a number of months, disguising those repayments, including a thank-you fee, as business expenses is a criminal offence. Granted Trump has done a lot worse, like inciting an insurrection and trying to persuade the Secretary of State for Georgia to find him missing votes, but hey, the more charges, the merrier.
Trump has become increasingly unhinged, even by his own standards. He has described the New York DA, Alvin Bragg, as a racist (Bragg is black) and in the pay of George Soros (without whom no supposed left-wing conspiracy is complete). He has portrayed his legal woes as interference with the 2024 Presidential Election, linking Bragg directly to Joe Biden. The way Trump tells it, he is the victim of prosecutorial misconduct and political persecution, Job, Nelson Mandela, and Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption with a side order of Jesus Christ, pursued across the country for non-crimes ‘while murderers and rapists go free’. Not only is he innocent of all charges, as he and his supporters have it, but the whole purpose of going after him is to stop him becoming President again. It all fits in nicely with the dystopian vision of America that he has been painting in his public pronouncements and Nuremburg-style rallies, where the mad radical left Democrats seek to destroy the rule of law, the American way of life and citizens’ freedoms, including of course the inalienable right to shoot kiddies in schools with assault weapons. Last Saturday he said ‘they’re not coming after me, they’re coming after you and I’m just standing in their way’. And his supporters, and the craven members of the GOP, lap it up and regurgitate it. In their eyes, it is not possible that Trump, whose business organisation was fined millions of dollars for tax evasion, who has been forbidden by law from being a trustee of a charity following manifold irregularities with its funds, and who has lied about everything, including an initial denial that he even knew about the payment to Daniels, could possibly have done anything financially iffy; and even if he did, which he didn’t, it would be wrong to do anything about it because he is a candidate for office – even though that is probably why he is a candidate for office in the first place. For Trump, public service is about private enrichment and the only convictions he has are the ones he is trying to avoid in the courts of law. Readers, it will not end well…..
We start our review of the week’s fashion follies with singer Katy Perry about to go on TV in New York, wearing Alexander Wang.
Or Alexander Wank as WTF prefers to call him. The jacket was obviously borrowed from Dwayne The Rock Johnson and the hanging things are the lovechild of a fly curtain and some very unruly pubes.
This next one did not make it into last week’s blog on the Fashion Trust Awards because WTF missed it. But when you see Jeremy Pope wearing Boss, you will understand why it caught her attention this week……
You have heard of someone giving you the shirt off his back. Well, Boss did the reverse and took the shirt off Jeremy’s back. Ludicrous…
Here is Actor Elle Fanning wearing Loewe at a party for stylists thrown by The Hollywood Reporter and Jimmy Choo.
As Macbeth remarked ‘Is this a dagger that I see before me? The handle towards my hand?’ A few weeks ago, we had Emily Ratajkowski with a penis growing out of a palm leaf across her stomach and now we have Elle stabbed through the heart. WTF does not even want to think what Loewe will produce next time and what will be sticking out of where. Yurgle.
We are now at the iHeart Radio Awards attended by singer Madison Beer wearing Paco Rabanne.
If the Ice Queen went to a fancy dress party as a metal lampshade, this is what she would look like.
And now we have two women in their smalls for no discernible reason under a new feature called ‘What Happened to the Outfit?’. First, we are still at the iHeart Radio Awards, this time with Muni Long wearing her undies.
The panties are excessively mingy and she is wearing her name around her neck like unaccompanied kiddies at airports when waiting for the flight attendant to pick them up and take them to the plane.
And here is number two in this new feature, actor Milena Smit. Yes, she was here last week as well. You might think she got dressed by rummaging in the dark in her lingerie drawer, but actually this excrescence is by Miu Miu.
Muni looks positively overdressed in comparison. The smaller bandage is not a bra and the slightly larger bandage is not a skirt, simultaneously managing to show her panties OVER her waistband and her gusset under the hem. The spirit of Marky Mark lives on…..
Finally, this is actor Nicholas Christie at the Opening Night of the Broadway Revival of Sweeney Todd wearing a most extraordinary ensemble.
It is not just that the horrible suit made out of tinfoil, like loonies wear when sheltering from malign rays from telephone masts and what not. What really bothers WTF is the fact that it is particularly snug over the unmentionables and thighs and prompts the onlooker to wonder what the hell he has got under those trewsies.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Kathryn from Bromley, who is fed up with going to the supermarket, queuing interminably at the tills and then getting stuck behind someone who spends ten minutes looking for their purse only after everything has gone through the scanner. I mean what the hell were they doing for the past 20 minutes while they were waiting? And then they engage the cashier in balls-aching conversation about the weather for another 20 minutes. Kathryn is a working mum of two adorable kiddies and she has better things to do with her time. WTF is in full agreement. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your suggestions for It’s Got To Go and your top comments, which WTF likes more than anything. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x
Well said Kathryn, boils my p1$$!
Me too. Last week I stood behind a woman who was INTENT on making her Tesco app work so that she could get her points. It wasn’t playing, so I suggested after about 5 minutes (getting very frustrated as my time is precious!) that she use her card. ‘I don’t have one’ came the reply. I suggested she get one as a backup for failing tech moments in her life. *Redeeming feature – she offered me her points so I guess the wait was not quite so stinging… but p-l-e-a-s-e….
In other matters. The moustachioed man’s expression – the one standing behind Katy Perry – says it all. End of.
As someone who belongs to the Compleat Idiot school of fashion knowledge, and who gets her only education on the subject here, I’m starting to think I need help.
I’m getting the sense that the top of the fashion tree is full of appalling pillocks. Would you consider starting an occasional series on their polar opposites? The ones who arrived at such events dressed not just with wealth but also taste? Are there any?
(And God, yes. The coupon rummagers. I haven’t killed anyone yet. Just lucky I guess.)