It does appear that there really are two sorts of people in this country. Not the haves and the have-nots, but Them and Us. Them are the ones who get away with everything, regardless of how heinous their conduct is. Take for example the Prime Minister who appears to have been able to attend parties, not that they were parties, and yet escaped the fines doled out to those who did attend parties, not that there were parties, even though they were mostly the same parties. It seems that there were lines across the room, like the border in the Irish Sea, so that you can be on one side of the line and not be at a party, not that is it is a party, or on the other side of the line and have to pay £50 for being at a party which was a party after all. I mean, how does that even happen? Either it’s a party where nobody should have been or it’s a party where everyone should have been. But somehow these were both and neither, depending on whether you had the initials MP after your name.
And then there is the little matter of those people who cannot afford simultaneously to put the oven on to feed their family and to feed their family, and those people who berate the people who cannot afford simultaneously to put the oven on to feed their family and to feed their family. George Eustace, Secretary of State for Agriculture, tells people who cannot afford to feed themselves properly to buy supermarket own brands rather than brand brands, as if the people living on a fixed budget had not thought of that particular saving themselves. And Rachel MacLean, the Safeguarding Minister, who came up with a particularly brilliant ruse to earn more money. Get a better job! Do more hours! You have to be a real genius to think of that one. WTF fully expects Ms McLean to be shaking hands with the King of Sweden when he dishes out next year’s Nobel Prize for Economics. And Tory MP Lee Anderson, a card-carrying idiot, who thinks that the problem is that families do not know how to knock up a plate of nutritious deliciousness for 30 pence. Oh and do not forget old Etonian, hedge-fund-owning Jacob Rees-Mogg, aptly described by Keir Starmer this week as an overgrown prefect, who dismissed the concept of a windfall tax on oil companies “as waving a magic wand”.
These people just don’t get it. And more worrying is the fact that they don’t get that they don’t get it. Even more worrying than that is the idea but they think that they do get it. We are one of the wealthiest countries in the world but a growing number of people are faced with the appalling prospect of not being able to pay their bills, even though one or both of the household are in work. And whilst the Government tells us they are concerned, they don’t appear to be either willing or able to do a thing about it. Shame on them. And shame on us for tolerating it.
We devote this week’s review of the week’s fashion fiascos to the Billboard Awards in Las Vegas, starting with country singer Lainey Wilson wearing Cat O’Nine.
Could this be any more unflattering? Those trousers look like legs of lamb wrapped in foil and ready for the oven and the Ukrainian-coloured corsage has nothing to do with anything else, not even at all. She also appears to have no feet.
Next up we have celebritee and mega-makeup-billionairess Kylie Jenner wearing Balmain.
It is an illusion dress although it is more of a delusion dress. Her tits look awfully lop-sided, as if the cameraman were pissed or she were listing like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Or both.
And now a gruesome twosome in the form of actor Megan Fox wearing David Koma…..
…followed by her fiancé, singer Machine Gun Kelly wearing Dolce & Gabbana.
What is it with these two? She is as trashy as hell, all tits and bits, while he has come dressed as a spiny echidna. As a way of warding off groupies and journalists, it has some merits, but is it even legal? He is a walking offensive weapon.
Rapper Doja Kat, wearing Schiaparelli.
More spikes. Dangerous place, the Billboard Awards. It is amazing that anyone got out of the room with both their eyes intact. WTF deplores nipple pasties almost above all things, and the footwear is downright creepy…..
Rapper Megan Thee Stallion, wearing Mugler.
This is basically a bikini and Minge Moment skirt, complete with groin gap and a tabby’s tail with a mind of its own.
Singer Mary J Blige, wearing Minge Maestro Julien Macdonald.
Oh Mary! No. Just no. Please stop. If you have cleavage and torso on display, spare us the slit skirt with a This-Way-To-My-Minge arrow.
Rapper Burna Boy wearing Gerrit Jacob.
This is unpleasant, like the album cover from King Crimson In the Court of the Crimson King and the exposed zip is a whole It’s Got to Go all on its own.
And finally, here is actress Dove Cameron wearing Ashlyn.
Dove has now made it into the fashion flotsam twice in a fortnight. Last week was bad but this is worse, because it looks as if she has been eviscerated, and those weird lines are like the marks they draw on your body when you are about to have plastic surgery. Yurgle.
This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF mega-aficionado Leslie from Lisson Green, supported, one suspects, by 99.99999% of the public, who is aghast at the Rebekah Vardy libel claim against Colleen Rooney. People cannot afford to put the hot water on and these two vacuous bimbos are chucking money about like a drunk with no arms. Leslie says “Well, entertaining as it was in the beginning (handbags at dawn etc…) the Vardy v Rooney shit show has surely run its course? This is not an issue for the High Gourt, it’s surely a waste of court time, (considerable) money, and an insult to our judicial system. The Jeremy Kyle Show. That’s the place for this, sandwiched in between Loose Women and Come Dine With Me”. He is so right. It’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Last week your messages made happy so please keep them coming, as well as your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x