wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Boris Johnson has broken another promise. Keeping promises is not his forte – just ask the first and second Mrs Johnson and his string of discarded mistresses. Readers may recall the £350 million a week for the NHS never happened and the 14 new hospitals turned out to be neither new nor hospitals, but new wings in existing hospitals. Or his promise to his Uxbridge constituents that he would lie down in front of bulldozers rather than allow a third runway to be built at Heathrow airport, but when the vote for the third runway came up in the  House, Johnson, then foreign secretary, suddenly remembered an urgent appointment in Afghanistan and was airborne as his colleagues trooped through the lobbies. If Johnson does keep a promise, he only manages to do so by breaking a different promise – for example, he met his commitment to bring the UK out of the EU but only at the cost of breaking his promise that there would be no border between Northern Ireland and Great Britain. Similarly, this week he kept his promise to do something about social care but only by ignoring the promise not to raise taxes and imposing an across-the-board hike in National Insurance. As a result, people at the bottom of the scale as well as the top must pay another 10% of that tax in order to ensure that those at the top can pass their multi million pound homes on to their children. There were other potential sources of income but Johnson was not going to do anything to upset the big donors to the Conservative Party, particularly the construction giants. So there is no rise in corporation tax. There is no rise in inheritance tax. There is no attempt to make international mega companies pay any or some tax on their profits. There is no rise in taxes on unhealthy sugary and salty foods, the consumers of which clog up their own arteries and then clog up the hospitals. Only last month, when such a proposal was made by food czar Henry Dimbleby, Johnson dismissed it, saying “I’m not, I must say, attracted to the idea of extra taxes on hardworking people. Let me just signal that.” One month later, that reticence vanished into the ether and we now have an extra tax on hard working people starting in three years’ time.

In ordinary life, that degree of forgetfulness would have the speaker shipped off to a care home, paying £1500 a week while the people who look after him or her will not clear that in a month and will now be forced to pay higher National Insurance for the privilege. That is, the ones who will still work there and who will not remain post-Brexit in their countries of origin or who will not have gone off to work for the NHS because they do not need a vaccination there, or who have not been lured away to work for Amazon – oh the irony – which will pay them twice or three times their care home wages. Sadly they will soon find out that Mr Bezos’s beneficence comes at a high price.

People pay their tax and NI throughout their career. In return they should be cared for if they cannot afford to do it themselves. The idea that poorer people work their whole lives and still have to pay the same as rich people for future care is just plain wrong.

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We start our review of the week’s clothing chaos with rapper Lil Baby (né Dominique Armani Jones) wearing Bape x Coach.

WTF dislikes a shorts suit on men unless they are army officers or in law enforcement, and this shorts suit is especially distasteful to her as she hates snakeskin patterns almost above all things. Why would a grown man want go about dressed as Kaa from the Jungle Book? And how does he hold his neck up with all those chains around it? He must have an osteopath on permanent standby…..

Next up, we have actor and rapper Akwafina wearing Monse.

More Monsense. If a ghost went a fancy dress party as a bedraggled businessman, this is what it would look like. And the boots are downright ugly.

To the National Television Awards, which are always bad. WTF aficionado Mark was so outraged by boxer Nicola Adams and her partner model Ella Baig that he messaged WTF late at night to protest at their awfulness. Ella’s dress is by ROTATE Birger Chirtensen. 

We saw Lil Baby in his shorts suit. Now we see Nicola in hers and she does look like an Army officer. The Afrika Corps from WW2. Whoever thought of the orange socks and matching eyeshadow is not her friend. As for Ella, she has cut up Granny’s damask curtains and added leg of mutton sleeves and hideous platforms. 

Meet actor Annaleigh Ashford at the launch of Impeachment- American Crime Story, wearing Sebastian Gunawan.

This is a very silly dress, which takes away Annaleigh’s neck and makes her look like one of those ever-so-eco cloth Christmas trees.

To the GQ Men of the Year Awards in London with singer Ed Sheeran wearing Versace.

WTF has cited this movie before, but it bears repetition. In Tin Men,  a superb and under-rated movie about dodgy double glazing salesmen in the 1960s (GO AND WATCH IT), Tilly (Danny de Vito) is up before the Home Improvements Commission accused of selling his wares by deception. He replies “look…if you work in a clothing store, some guy tries on a suit and he looks like shit, but you tell him he looks wonderful… the guy’s standing there looking like a sack of shit, the salesman says what a great suit, and he buys it. That’s deception…” Bravo Tilly. Ed may be wearing a £3,000 Versace jacket but he looks like a sack of shit. Not to mention the crumpled shirt, wonky tie, terribly-fitting trousers and Boris Johnson hair. Yurgle.

We are now at the knockings of the Venice Film Festival where we encounter actor Cynthia Erivo, wearing Valentino.

You know those mad people who wrap themselves and their pets in tinfoil to avoid X-rays or whatever? Cynthia looks exactly like that. And her shoes are a health hazard…..

And here is actor Kristen Stewart wearing Chanel.

Chanel!!! Ye Gods. It was a toss-up between a tweed Chanel romper and this ghastly ensemble but this is worse because at least the romper looks expensive and awful, whereas this babydoll nonsense looks cheap and awful, the sort of thing you buy online from K-Mart. Meanwhile, the purpose of the black ribbon passeth all understanding…..

And finally, here is alleged singer Cheryl performing at the Mighty Hoopla Festival, wearing something foul.

WTF noticed a headline the other day announcing that Cheryl (formerly aka Tweedy, then aka Cole, then aka Fernandez-Versini) had returned to singing. This came as a surprise to WTF who did know that she ever started. Rutting foxes sound more harmonious. Anyway, here she is wearing something so horrific that it is included here even though stage outfits are usually out of bounds. There is a LOT of thigh and crotch plus hair that used to be attached to a pony’s arse, like Spiderwoman gone lap dancing.

STOP PRESS – WTF aficionado Ayesha from Stepney contacted WTF today to say ‘That bloody Cheryl! She looks like Liberace doing a Las Vegas season. In his late period’.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from the whole of Britain, whether WTF aficionados or not, and concerns that utter moron, the Education Secretary Gavin Williamson.

In what is admittedly a competitive field, Williamson is way ahead of the pack, having no redeeming features and giving full nuance to the words over-promoted. This week he consolidated his lead still further by managing to confuse Marcus Rashford the black footballer with Maro Itoje the black rugby player, claiming that he had met the former by Zoom instead of the latter. In fact, as both are campaigning for matters relating to Williamson’s own department, Rashford for free school meals and Itoje for free school computers, he should know them and be able to distinguish them, and he should be holding frequent discussions with them both. He is a complete tosser and He’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. We will not be meeting next Friday because Thursday is the Day of Atonement and WTF will be busy atoning, but she will be back with you on Friday 24 September. Please keep those excellent suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your top comments. Be good x.