WTF has always had a penchant for clever, arrogant, witty and charismatic men who look like they know stuff. Even when she suspects that they are not actually very nice, she will usually suppress the thought where there are enough flashes of brilliance and a few bons mots. And so it was last spring, when Covid was first upon us, and the then President of the US was making a pig’s ear of his country’s response (if indeed denying that there was a problem and plugging some iffy medicine can be deemed a response). The daily appearances of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo charmed the world and charmed WTF even more. His combination of sense, competence, eloquence, empathy and understanding, combined with witty aperçus and an obvious contempt for President Orange meant that his briefings became required viewing for residents of New York State and across the globe. At a time when there was no vaccine, or even the expectation of one, Cuomo’s reassurance that things would eventually be OK, however terrible they were at the time, was the perfect antidote to our fears.
And then….as 2020 continued and the horror of New York doctors in plastic bin bags coping with thousands of dying citizens abated, it became clear that Cuomo’s management of the crisis had been less adept that had appeared at the time; not least because of his policy of transferring old and sick people from hospitals to nursing homes where they spread the virus and many died. For a while, that was covered up while Cuomo won an Emmy for his daily TV chats and made some $5 m from his book boasting how well he has handed it all. When details of the cover-up crept out, they were squashed with cynical ruthlessness by the Governor and his staff.
Then another scandal started to emerge, namely that Cuomo was a serial sex pest. Even after a report by the Attorney-General, a woman he himself had appointed, found that he had molested eleven women, Cuomo persisted in his denials, sending his Rottweiler lady lawyer onto TV shows to pour obloquy on his accusers – exactly the same tactics practiced by the man he claimed to deprecate, now the former President. But the women did not back down and this week, Cuomo resigned. Did we get a fulsome and grovelling apology, coupled with an admission that his conduct has been sleazy and disgusting? No, we did not. Instead this 63-year old man, father, lawyer and politician insisted that he had never intentionally assaulted anyone, but that ‘the boundaries had moved’ and he had not realised it. Really? The acceptable boundaries of behaviour from a man, a father, a lawyer and a politician never included groping women’s breasts or squeezing their buttocks or running a finger down their spine or demanding of a 25 year old assistant whether she found men of his age attractive. One is left to conclude that either Cuomo really did not know that, in which case he was unfit for office, or that he did know it but he thought that the rules did not apply to him, in which case he was unfit for office. The moral of the story is that wit, charm and intelligence are all well and good but they may well – and often do – cover up something a lot less appetising and a lot more problematic.
We start our review of the week’s outrageous outfits with talent judge and former singer Alesha Dixon, seen here with her husband Azuka Ononye at Ant McWotsit’s wedding. Alesha is wearing Kalmanovich.
Here is a WTF Golden Rule. Do not go to someone else’s wedding dressed like a showgirl, unless of course you are a showgirl appearing in the post-prandial Cabaret. This is too tight, too short, too showy and makes her look like a very brightly coloured cockatoo.
Next up we have actor Winston Duke (from the Marvel movies) wearing Dolce & Gabbana.
He seems to have been shopping at the D&G skip. The shirt has nothing to do with the suit or the shoes and the monogrammed polo neck is just plain wanky. The whole effect is of one of those terribly twee china minstrels that your granny had on her mantelpiece.
Here she is! It’s Lady Gaga in New York, wearing Christopher John Rogers.
If a decanter went to a fancy dress party as a picnic tablecloth, this is what it would look like. And those are the world’s ugliest boots…..
And here is another regular, sort of actress Phoebe Price, at a garage in LA.
Is she going to the gym or to the S&M club? And as the petrol hose is not in the aperture, what is she planning to do with it? Frankly, it does not bear thinking about. Even the lap-dancing doxies in last night’s Love Island were better dressed. Yurgle.
Meet How to get Away With Murder actor Conrad Ricamora wearing a most extraordinary ensemble at the premiere of Night House in New York.
So here we have a cornucopia of everything WTF cannot abide. A one armed-jacket on a two-armed person. Nothing under the jacket save for chains various. And brogues without socks. Was he attacked by a savage doggie?
We haven’t seen rapper Iggy Azalea in a while. Here she is, wearing Thierry Mugler. Careful now.
Good Lord! A perambulating circus tent…..
And finally, here is Instagram star Stephanie Gurzanski wearing who even knows what this is?
This is the lovechild of a leather sofa and Disney’s Angus the pony and is putting horrified onlookers in fear of an imminent Minge Moment.
This week’s It’s Got to Go concerns someone who is in fact about to go. WTF speaks of Britney Spears’ dad Jamie Spears, who has been his daughter’s conservator since 2008 when she had a funny turn. Britney is now nearly 40, has two children and had this novel idea that she is entitled to run her own life and to handle the money she makes.
It is not as if Britney does not know what day it is. She regularly gives sell-out concerts, and Dad gets the money to look after it for her. Recently, Britney applied to wind up the conservatorship and last night her dad says he stepping down. Good riddance. He’s Got To Go.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Send in your suggestions coming in for It’s Got To Go, not to mention your very top comments. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x.