Hallo Readers, 

Last week, the malignant virus that is ‘journalist’ Katie Hopkins, tweeted a vicious, Islamophobic, attack on London Mayor Sadiq Khan. No surprise there, of course. Hopkins hates Muslims, claims white people and Christian values are under threat, and would trample over her own granny to earn a spot on Fox News, especially as no media outlet will touch her with a disinfected bargepole over here. The capital city had endured another terrible weekend in which two people were stabbed and another one was shot. The Angel of Death wrote ‘This is Khan’s Londonistan’. As it happens, this ghastly spate of stabbings and murder appears to have no connection at all with Islam – the comment was therefore both spiteful and inapposite. But the Angel of Death is unconcerned with petty details like fact, not when there is a Crusade to undertake. And who retweeted this bilious drivel? None other than Donald J Trump. Never mind that what happens in London is none of his damn business. Never mind that US cities, including Trump’s home town of New York, have a much higher murder rate. Never mind that he is a shill for the National Rifle Association, which champions the right to bear arms, translated into the inalienable right to shoot dead perfect strangers, preferably kiddies, and to stockpile weapons, even though you have every sort of psychiatric problem and should not be able to buy a pea-shooter, let alone an AK47. Trump tweeted that Khan was ‘A national disgrace who is destroying the City of London’. (Note to Trump – the City of London is not the same as London. But then Trump does not know the difference between England and Britain, or Britain and the United Kingdom, or indeed between his ever-burgeoning arse and his elbow).

The tweet provoked outrage. Outrage at Trump retweeting the Angel of Death, and outrage at Trump having yet another go at a Muslim citizen of another country. Just to ensure that everyone was clear that this was an Islamophobic tweet, Hopkins tweeted her thanks to the President for his retweet, referring to London’s ‘Muslim Mayor’. Back home, the Prime Minister and the Foreign Secretary failed to condemn Trump’s interference or his racism, although politely distancing themselves from the actual language and the input of the horrible Hopkins. Only the Muslim Home Secretary, Sajid Javid, condemned Trump, as he had done on a previous occasion of an Islamophobia tweet, which probably explains why his invitation to the State Banquet on Trump’s visit was lost in the post. Meanwhile, many over here piled in, supporting Trump’s attack and condemning Khan as the worst Mayor ever.

But here’s the thing, Readers. Knife crime have soared since 2014 (two years before Khan was elected) and that is not unique to London – it is countrywide. Since 2010, the knife crime rates in the North East have risen by 33%; in Yorkshire and the Humber, by 77%; and in Wales, by 50%. But it is only Khan that gets the flack. Why do you suppose that is? London now has fewer police officers than it did in 2003 – 20,000 officers down since 2010. Forty youth clubs have closed. The Government has demanded savings in the police budget of £1bn nationally, including £334m in the Metropolitan Police which also has to find another £104m because of pension changes. Police stations have closed. God forbid that you should ever see actual officers on the street. But Theresa May (remember that she was Home Secretary for six years from 2010 to 2016) says there is ‘no direct correlation between certain crimes and police numbers’. Right. It is of course much easier to throw shit at a brown, Muslim, Labour, Mayor. Trump and the Angel of Death are pure scum, of whom nothing is to be expected except more lies, racism and filth. But everyone else should take a long hard look at themselves.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion fiascos with racing driver Lewis Hamilton at the Paris Men’s Fashion Week, wearing Valentino.

What is he wearing now? The words ‘fashion victim’ have insufficient nuance to sum up Lewis’ ridiculous sartorial choices. This time, his top makes him look like the late, lamented, Victoria Wood in Dinner Ladies, the jeans were bought in anticipation of his having a late growth spurt, and the trainers look plain manky.

Now to Los Angeles and the TrevorLive! charity gala, where we find model and actress Cara Delevigne, wearing Balmain.

This is just very silly. From the front, it looks like a sleeveless gilet sewn into an old net curtain, paired with saucy boots. The back, however, is worse.

From the back, it looks like Bridget Jones panties and an old net curtain. It is as if Cara were off to a Halloween party and couldn’t be arsed to make any effort with her costume.

Next up, we have Kate Moss’ little sister, model Lottie Moss, wearing Aadnevik at the Victoria and Albert Summer Party. Why she was there at all, WTF cannot say.

This is not a dress. Not even at all. It is an elongated bustier worn over a pair of panties, and it is foul. Lottie used her Instagram account to air her concern about her weight (seriously?), and obviously thought that wearing this would boost her confidence. She should stop worrying about her girth and start worrying about her taste. Or her stylist. Or both.

And now we go to the MTV Movie and TV Awards in Santa Monica, where an abundance of horror awaited us. We kick off with actor Nico Tortorella, wearing his school uniform and fancy loafers.

WTF takes the view that once a man is past bar mitzvah age, shorts suits should not occupy space in his wardrobe. Particularly when worn with gingham loafers and lashings of blue guy shadow. And he has been drawing on his legs with a magic marker.

Here is singer Spice, who won an award for some reality rubbish called Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, wearing something frightful.

Only smurfs should have blue hair, and no-one, not even a smurf, should wear a tit-baring bodysuit resembling a trail of neon yellow alyssum.

This is another reality star, Lala Kent, who is in something called Vanderpump Rules. She is wearing affair.fff.

Lala has less VNA (Visible Nipple Activity) on display than Spice, but instead is giving us a major Minge Moment. Meanwhile, WTF is trying to work out whether Lala is wearing her shoes under the lace or over it.

Finally, we have entertainer and (winning) TV Host Nick Cannon, formerly Mr Mariah Carey, wearing Louis Vuitton. This is about as stupid an ensemble as WTF ever did see in her life. Brace yourselves.

What is going on? Why is Louis Vuitton making logo’ed bullet proof vests and gas masks with matching deck shoes? What are those truncated cargo thingies? And why is he wearing them all with a Mayoral chain? Someone at LV has been overdosing on Nicholas Cage as Big Daddy.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF of London, who is aghast at the terrible barstools the five Tory Leadership contenders were made to sit on during the BBC ‘debate’ on Tuesday. As splendid Guardian columnist John Crace noted, “they looked like an ageing boy band. Take Twat”. There was a lot of man spreading as they perched gingerly on their stools like a bunch of old bores at the Garrick  Club Bar. They looked uncomfortable, the whole thing was uncomfortable, and on the basis that one had any faith left in democracy before the debate, it certainly would have gone walkies afterwards. Dismal. Depressing. It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please send in your comments, and don’t forget your utterly splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good. x