WTF Civility Special

 Hallo Readers,

Since the twin disasters of Brexit and Trump’s election, political discourse has sunk to depths previously accessible only to cavers, deep sea divers and submarines. Anything goes. Nothing is too rude or too unpleasant. Twitter has become a home for those who more properly belong in hospitals for the criminally insane. The President of the United States abuses his growing list of enemies with impunity, accusing them of everything from fraud to murder. The Conservative Foreign Secretary of the United Kingdom, in response to business disquiet over the Brexit negotiations, answers Fuck Business’. On both sides of the Atlantic, judges and the press are derided as ‘enemies of the people’, whilst people born inside and outside the countries they have lived in for decades are told to go home’. Last night, five people in a local newspaper office were shot dead in Annapolis, Maryland by a man apparently disgruntled after losing a defamation suit against it some years back. In this febrile atmosphere, when Breitbart correspondent, the poisonous Milo Yiannopoulous, said he was looking forward to vigilantes ‘gunning down journalists’, it is easy to envisage an occasion when the grudge would be political, not personal. Meanwhile, despite Yiannopoulos’ call and Trump’s repeated statements of contempt, not to mention his failure to do anything about gun control, his faithful little Fox News friend, Sean Hannity, lost no time blaming it all on Maxine Waters, the congresswoman who urged Democrats, wrongly in WTF’s view,  to ‘push back’ against Trump staff should they encounter them in public. Do not hold your breath awaiting his apology.

But here’s the thing, Readers. Democracy is a bastard because in upholding it, you are forced to put up with people you hate, views you despise, decisions you deplore and political outcomes you loathe. Your right of free speech is also others’ right of free speech. You find things they do and say offensive and they feel exactly the same about things you do and you say. What happens if you just stop tolerating them? You ban them from your restaurant because of their views. They stop you from staying over at their bed and breakfast because you are gay. Where does it end? White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked to leave the Red Hen restaurant in Virginia because the owner disapproved of her political views and moral values. Preposterously, Sanders has now been assigned round-the-clock security. However, she is entitled to go out to eat where she wants, just as anyone else is. You should not be ejected from a restaurant or a shop because you voted Remain or because you voted Leave or because you support or oppose the State of Israel or because you are for or against abortion. If you work as a police officer or a immigration official or a prison warden, your address should not be published online so that every madman with a grudge can beat down your door and terrorise you and yours. If you are a politician exercising your vote, or a judge ruling on a case, you are not an enemy of the people. If you are a journalist criticising the government, you are not,m as Trump suggested last weekend, ‘almost treasonous’. That is the cost of freedom. The people you hate have the same rights as you do. Live with it before we slide  further, inexorably, down the slippery slope. 


We turn to the week’s review of fashion feculence and singer Harry Styles wearing Gucci.

WTF is not wild about Harry, particularly when he is poncing around in a bell- bottomed suit knocked up in the 1970’s by his granny from the remnants of some Laura Ashley Scottish thistle fabric. Worse still, what is going on with Harry’s crotch? Has his jockstrap slipped? Yurgle….

Next, we visit the BAM Cinema Fest in New York where we encounter actress Tessa Thompson, wearing Thom Browne.

It is rare for trousers to offer a built-in minge moment, but these ones do.

Look, if you want to wear trousers, wear trousers. Don’t fanny about with your fanny on show. This is the St Andreas Fault of trousers, with a gap where a gap should not be. Ever. 

To the Dior Homme fashion show in Paris and US basketball player Russell Westbrook, wearing Dior Homme. Yes, honestly.

Dior, my arse. He looks like the handyman posing in front of the set he has lovingly constructed, having cycled to work with his trousers tucked into his socks. There is painterly. And there is pratttish. This went past prattish some miles back and is currently docked at doolally.

Back in Blighty, we have the ghastly celebritee Lauren Goodger, wearing So Monroe.

Lauren’s decision to channel Kim Kardashian in clinging lycra shorts is misguided. Misguided as in driving your car whilst blindfolded is misguided; the results are messy and criminal in equal measure. Lauren’s fake boobs are like a couple of cantilevered barrage balloons, whilst the shorts, worn inexplicably with suede boots, are showing more cameltoe than an HD version of Laurence of Arabia, as well as a very sizeable arse. 

This one should have been in last week when we covered the MTV awards but WTF unaccountably missed it. When you see it, you know that it has to go in. Here is actor Tommy Dorfman wearing Thom Browne.

WHAT??????????? Tommy may have a shapely pair of calves but that is no excuse for dressing as a transgender schoolgirl. This week, Thom Browne has given us a woman in suspender trousers and a man in a hockey skirt. Stop. It. Now.

To the (BET) Black Entertainment Television Awards, (always a horror show to rival the London Dungeon), where we meet singers Cassie wearing Michael Michalsky and Terrence J

Terrence looks fine, apart from the trainers. Cassie, however, looks as if she has put her head through the top of a tin can full of Christmas tinsel. And what are those white tit triangles all about? Baffling.

Here is rapper 2 Chainz, wearing a most remarkable ensemble by Gucci.

One can but conclude that Gucci is taking the piss. Big time. If Cassie is the tin of Christmas tinsel, 2 Chainz is the Christmas wrapping paper in this collarless excrescence with the trousers hovering around his ankles and hideous studded and tasselled loafers. But there are also the necklaces, the bracelets, the watch with more diamonds than Tiffany and of course, the knuckledusters. Don’t leave home without them…

More silver this time on celebritee and “entrepreneur” Blac Chyna, wearing Bryan Hearns.

Blac is wearing a couple of rag dolls’ heads on her chest with a double side helping of underboob and a table runner wrapped around her waist, emphasising an absence of panties and showcasing her tattoos. Classy. What a pity she and Rob Kardashian broke up. She would have fitted right in….

Finally, we have reality “star” Alexis Skyy, wearing Grayling Purnell.



WTF has only one question. Whyy?

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh, who has drawn WTF’s attention to the Penis Pocket. This nonsense adorns a pair of chinos by Japanese company Gu (which owns Uniqlo), yours for only £15. 

You don’t actually put your pecker in the pouch, but you get the point. It is a 21st Century codpiece without the cod. It is silly, it is offensive and It’s Got to Go.


OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in your top comments and your excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x








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5 Responses to WTF Civility Special

  1. Tess Thompson is wearing below-the-waist shower curtains. On the said hooks.

  2. *The best comment I’ve seen on Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the Red Hen Restaurant, and civility was written by Adam Gopnik and published by New Yorker. He argues that civility has to be a reciprocal activity, and that Mr. Trump, and those who speak for him, are engaging in a non-stop assault on civility. “You cannot spit in the plates and then demand your dinner.”
    *On to more cheerful activities. When you began publishing this wonderful Friday tradition, the women outnumbered the men significantly. The boys are now claiming their piece of the action. Harry Styles, Russell Westbrook, Tommy Dorfman, 2 Chainz, and the poor schmuck modeling the do-it-yourself-cod-piece-kit in the Its Got To Go section, along with the gentlemen from the last couple of weeks, have all demonstrated that the male of the species is not immune to wearing dazzlingly stupid outfits. I think a pretty good case for an all male Christmas Turkey list can be made.

  3. Lottie says:

    Tommy Dorfman looks more feminine in a hockey skirt than the PE teachers at my secondary school. This particular teacher wore a hockey skirt with an aertex shirt all day and regardless of the weather. Tommy has way better legs than she did. I’m quite surprised that he would style himself on a 1970s girls’ grammar PE teacher though, they weren’t known for being fashion icons. Sadists, definitely. Oh hang on…. maybe that’s why?

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