WTF Presidential Special

Hallo Readers,

This blog is dedicated to my beloved friend Barbara, who died suddenly a year ago and is very much missed.

WTF kept hoping that Donald Trump’s presidential bid was a giant hoax, like Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds broadcast or the time when Joaquin Phoenix pretended to go off his rocker or when England were expected to beat Iceland and progress to the Quarter Finals of the Euros. Sadly, however, it appears to be true. The Donald wants to be President of the United States and there is seems to be a good chance that he will be. Whereupon we will all be done for.

Trump is going to refuse Muslims entry to the US. Which Muslims? All Muslims? The latest version is that this will apply to Moslems “from nations tied to Islamic terror”. Does that include France and Germany? He is going to build a wall along the US/Mexican border (a total of 1,989 miles) and make Mexico pay for it. That is a lot of bricks and a lot of manpower, a sort of racist New Deal. Quite how he intends to collect the cost from Mexico is unclear. Is he going to send in the bailiffs? He is singlehandedly going to bring back 4 million manufacturing jobs whilst simultaneously cutting taxes (the top 0.1% of taxpayers will get more tax relief than the bottom 60% combined, but hey, this is Trumponomics). He is going to take ISIS oil, using ground troops – Presidents Assad and Putin will be thrilled. And this week he invited Putin to hack further into the State Department computer to retrieve damning emails from his rival Hillary Clinton. He does know that Putin is President of Russia, right? The Donald has said “I don’t know anything about him other than he will respect me”. Trump has played the celebrity bigmouth for so long and with such success that he seems to view the Presidency of the US as just another reality show. If it sounds good, say it. If it sounds bad, say it anyway. Then deny you said it. Or just say something else. Appeal to the baser instincts of the American people. Compound their ignorance with yours. And you know what, Readers? It seems to be working.

Trump has been lucky, though. His Democrat opponent is Hillary Clinton. And Clinton has been lucky. Her Republican opponent is Donald Trump. America has been unlucky because it has to choose between them.

It has to be said that Hillary is hard to love. Or even to like. She is glacial. She is calculating. Her voice is like the sound of nails down a blackboard. She is no orator. She is decidedly dodgy, scandal sticking to her like burrs to a picnic blanket, albeit she has been demonised beyond measure by the Republican machine and Trump in particular.  Still, the whole primary process this time was heavily slanted in her favour. If Sanders did so well on a skewed process, how would he have done on a properly conducted one? She avoided prosecution for using her own email account whilst she was Secretary of State but she was found to have been less than honest in her answers to the FBI and despite asserting that she had cooperated with the investigation, 3,000 emails were deleted. A recent poll showed that 68% of citizens think she is dishonest and do not trust her, whereas only 43% think the same of Trump. The Washington Post adroitly observed that “what the Clintons lack in a sense of shame, they make up for in an air of entitlement”. It is this sort of high-handed elitism that drove voters to favour Trump and Sanders in an attempt to get something new and fresh – not to mention Brexit over here. But let us not go there, this week anyway. Sanders was fresh. Trump is rancid.

Still, WTF, with no dog in the fight, would rather have someone dodgy but competent to someone dangerously reckless and unwilling to listen to anyone. Last night, Tina Brown quoted an unnamed Republican senator as saying, “Hillary has baggage but Donald is crazy….and you can’t fix crazy”. Quite.


We start our review of the week’s fashion fecal matter with actress Lauren Cohan at Comic-Con, wearing who knows what….

This is a re-styled duvet cover but she forgot to take the buttons off.

Next up, we have actress Margot Robbie wearing Monse.

More Monsense. Do stop. She looks as if she has been mugged in her trench coat, the thieves tore the sleeves off and then legged it. Rather like Monse.

Actress/heiress/somethingorotheress Tori Spelling at a fundraiser in LA, wearing her dress backwards.

Clarification. Either the dress is on backwards or her torso is. Either way it is just terribly, terribly terrible, Doily Woman made flesh.

Now we have actress Dania Ramirez at the premiere of Bad Moms, wearing Bad Clothes (i.e. a dress by House of Meena and boots by Lesilia).

Great body, great legs, lovely face, appalling outfit. Particularly the tit blindfold under the tuxedo capelet.

This is show-off model and WAG Abbey Clancy at her brother’s wedding in Mallorca, wearing WTF bugbear Julien Macdonald.

No, Abbey, no. You are not supposed to be the main attraction at someone else’s wedding. You are certainly not supposed to arrive at said wedding in your nightie. This is your brother’s wedding, for Heaven’s sake. However, your new sister-in-law will have found consolation in (i) those ridiculously pillowed lips and (ii) your burnt chest, which is positively radioactive.

The wiener Justin Bieber, wearing a load of old rubbish.

WTF is sorry to observe that Justin continues to look like a prat and she hates folded down dungarees almost above all things. These are particularly ridiculous, like a penis pinafore.

Finally, we have singer Jennifer Lopez at her birthday bash in Las Vegas, wearing Balmain.

Sorry. There is no question that she is hot as hell, but she looks like she has just rolled around in pigshit.


This week’s It’s Got To Go is little Miss Smug herself, singer Taylor Swift and her beau actor Tom Hiddleston, collectively known as Hiddleswift.  Despite having known each other for about 3 weeks, they are IN LURVE. We know this because you cannot open a fucking paper without seeing them smooching.

And when we are not looking at them, we are hearing about them “talking marriage”. This week Tom rushed to her side to “console” her because she did not receive any MTV Award nominations. Presumably we know this and see the pictures on her private beach and private veranda and private gondola because her PR machine wants us to. Anyway, it is totally and utterly vomit-making and It’s Got to Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Do keep those comments coming in which keep WTF relatively cheerful. Otherwise she just keeps arguing with friends about Jeremy Corbyn, which is bad for her health. And don’t forget to send those excellent suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good  x



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6 Responses to WTF Presidential Special

  1. Joyce W says:

    ‘Tit blindfold and penis pinafore’ – simply brilliant!

  2. Sarah Denby says:

    You are spot-on about both Hillary and The Donald. No one in this household wanted to vote for Hillary since she is such a liar–there is no trust. However, The Donald just makes stuff up out of whole cloth, and the idea that he could actually run a country when he can’t even run a proper business (i.e., pay his contractors and employees) is ludicrous.

  3. Sue says:

    Jennifer Lopez looks like a horse that’s been trace clipped.

  4. I’m not a big Hillary Clinton fan, but someone needs to say a few words of rebuttal here, and I guess that’s going to be me.
    A quarter century ago Mrs. Clinton made the observation that she and Bill were victims of a vast, right-wing conspiracy. In nearly four decades of political life they have been under nearly constant investigation by political opponents. These investigations have discovered one presidential stain on a blue dress. There aren’t many politicians who could survive and flourish under those circumstances.
    This vast, right-wing conspiracy was successful in one respect. Many people perceive her as being less than honest because she has been accused of so many things that she must be guilty of something.
    Her reputation for the “lack of a sense of shame/air of entitlement” ratio sounds damning until you realize that it can be applied to 100 members of the United States Senate, 435 members of the United States House of Representatives, 9 members of the United States Supreme Court, 50 state governors, all living current and former presidents, Donald Trump, Mitt Romney… You get my drift.
    The primary process was tilted in her favor. When you run as the insider-establishment candidate you get to appoint your friends to committees that make the rules. Life isn’t fair. Senator Sanders was aware of this when he threw his hat into the ring.
    The investigation into the State Department e-mails that determined she wasn’t completely honest? Either she lied and was arrested for perjury or she didn’t lie. I don’t recall reading about her arrest.
    Mrs. Clinton is an extraordinary woman, but a political campaign is not her natural habitat. If she hadn’t married Bill Clinton she would have been a successful and influential lobbyist designing public policy, but she did marry Bill and she is taking advantage of the opportunities. Yes, I know, it’s unheard of for relatives of a president to do such a thing.
    Finally, there is the story from her husband’s presidency that they were driving in a motorcade. Bill had the cars pull over at a random gas station so he could shake hands and kiss babies. Hillary recognized the guy pumping the gasoline as an old high school boyfriend. Bill was amused and told her that if she had married the old boyfriend she wouldn’t be the First Lady. Hillary responded that if she had married the old boyfriend she would still be First Lady and Bill would be pumping gas.

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