wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

This blog is dedicated to my beloved friend Barbara, who died suddenly a year ago and is very much missed.

WTF kept hoping that Donald Trump’s presidential bid was a giant hoax, like Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds broadcast or the time when Joaquin Phoenix pretended to go off his rocker or when England were expected to beat Iceland and progress to the Quarter Finals of the Euros. Sadly, however, it appears to be true. The Donald wants to be President of the United States and there is seems to be a good chance that he will be. Whereupon we will all be done for.

Trump is going to refuse Muslims entry to the US. Which Muslims? All Muslims? The latest version is that this will apply to Moslems “from nations tied to Islamic terror”. Does that include France and Germany? He is going to build a wall along the US/Mexican border (a total of 1,989 miles) and make Mexico pay for it. That is a lot of bricks and a lot of manpower, a sort of racist New Deal. Quite how he intends to collect the cost from Mexico is unclear. Is he going to send in the bailiffs? He is singlehandedly going to bring back 4 million manufacturing jobs whilst simultaneously cutting taxes (the top 0.1% of taxpayers will get more tax relief than the bottom 60% combined, but hey, this is Trumponomics). He is going to take ISIS oil, using ground troops – Presidents Assad and Putin will be thrilled. And this week he invited Putin to hack further into the State Department computer to retrieve damning emails from his rival Hillary Clinton. He does know that Putin is President of Russia, right? The Donald has said “I don’t know anything about him other than he will respect me”. Trump has played the celebrity bigmouth for so long and with such success that he seems to view the Presidency of the US as just another reality show. If it sounds good, say it. If it sounds bad, say it anyway. Then deny you said it. Or just say something else. Appeal to the baser instincts of the American people. Compound their ignorance with yours. And you know what, Readers? It seems to be working.

Trump has been lucky, though. His Democrat opponent is Hillary Clinton. And Clinton has been lucky. Her Republican opponent is Donald Trump. America has been unlucky because it has to choose between them.

It has to be said that Hillary is hard to love. Or even to like. She is glacial. She is calculating. Her voice is like the sound of nails down a blackboard. She is no orator. She is decidedly dodgy, scandal sticking to her like burrs to a picnic blanket, albeit she has been demonised beyond measure by the Republican machine and Trump in particular.  Still, the whole primary process this time was heavily slanted in her favour. If Sanders did so well on a skewed process, how would he have done on a properly conducted one? She avoided prosecution for using her own email account whilst she was Secretary of State but she was found to have been less than honest in her answers to the FBI and despite asserting that she had cooperated with the investigation, 3,000 emails were deleted. A recent poll showed that 68% of citizens think she is dishonest and do not trust her, whereas only 43% think the same of Trump. The Washington Post adroitly observed that “what the Clintons lack in a sense of shame, they make up for in an air of entitlement”. It is this sort of high-handed elitism that drove voters to favour Trump and Sanders in an attempt to get something new and fresh – not to mention Brexit over here. But let us not go there, this week anyway. Sanders was fresh. Trump is rancid.

Still, WTF, with no dog in the fight, would rather have someone dodgy but competent to someone dangerously reckless and unwilling to listen to anyone. Last night, Tina Brown quoted an unnamed Republican senator as saying, “Hillary has baggage but Donald is crazy….and you can’t fix crazy”. Quite.

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We start our review of the week’s fashion fecal matter with actress Lauren Cohan at Comic-Con, wearing who knows what….

This is a re-styled duvet cover but she forgot to take the buttons off.

Next up, we have actress Margot Robbie wearing Monse.

More Monsense. Do stop. She looks as if she has been mugged in her trench coat, the thieves tore the sleeves off and then legged it. Rather like Monse.

Actress/heiress/somethingorotheress Tori Spelling at a fundraiser in LA, wearing her dress backwards.

Clarification. Either the dress is on backwards or her torso is. Either way it is just terribly, terribly terrible, Doily Woman made flesh.

Now we have actress Dania Ramirez at the premiere of Bad Moms, wearing Bad Clothes (i.e. a dress by House of Meena and boots by Lesilia).

Great body, great legs, lovely face, appalling outfit. Particularly the tit blindfold under the tuxedo capelet.

This is show-off model and WAG Abbey Clancy at her brother’s wedding in Mallorca, wearing WTF bugbear Julien Macdonald.

No, Abbey, no. You are not supposed to be the main attraction at someone else’s wedding. You are certainly not supposed to arrive at said wedding in your nightie. This is your brother’s wedding, for Heaven’s sake. However, your new sister-in-law will have found consolation in (i) those ridiculously pillowed lips and (ii) your burnt chest, which is positively radioactive.

The wiener Justin Bieber, wearing a load of old rubbish.

WTF is sorry to observe that Justin continues to look like a prat and she hates folded down dungarees almost above all things. These are particularly ridiculous, like a penis pinafore.

Finally, we have singer Jennifer Lopez at her birthday bash in Las Vegas, wearing Balmain.

Sorry. There is no question that she is hot as hell, but she looks like she has just rolled around in pigshit.