WTF Super-Mega-Colossal Fashion Disaster Special

Hallo Readers,

This is where WTF gets herself tied into more knots than a boy scout’s bonanza. What on earth do you do with disgusting anti-Semite and Holocaust denier, French “comedian” Dieudonné M’bala M’bala

Dieudonné is a scumbag. WTF has written about him before. He introduced the quenelle, an  inverted Nazi salute said to be a “fuck you” gesture. WTF would have more sympathy for this explanation had the quenelle not been exhibited outside synagogues, Jewish cemeteries and Holocaust memorials. WTF hates a Holocaust denier and Dieudonné is a Holocaust denier and a rabid anti-Semite. He has been fined repeatedly in France for anti-Semitism and has been imprisoned there; now he has been sentenced  to two months imprisonment for anti-Semitism by a Belgian Court. In the course of his “act”, performed in Liège in 2012, Dieudonné called Hitler a “sweet kid” and a “joyful braggart”. He also called into question the Nazi gas chambers and described the Talmud as a “shit book”. Short on pissing on the Bible and then laughing at pictures of Dachau, it is unclear how much offensive he could have been. Even as she writes this, WTF, the daughter and granddaughter of Jewish refugees who fled from the Nazis, is experiencing revulsion and fury in equal measure, remembering friends of her parents with concentration camp numbers tattooed on their forearms. Never, ever, tell me that it didn’t happen. But….

Initially, Dieudonné’s sentence was going to feature in the section of this blog as It Has To Go – To Prison. And then, rapidly, it started to feel wrong. And the fact that it felt wrong made WTF feel incredibly angry and foolish, because people like Dieudonné do not give a fuck about those liberal sensibilities that people like WTF, with her wet, middle-class, liberal, North London background, are nurtured into. Angry because anti-Semitism has become acceptable in some circles. Angry because the man has a political agenda and is not just a performer. But…. But if you believe in freedom, the freedom to publish cartoons which some find offensive, the freedom to reject or to embrace any religious or sexual practice, you cannot deny that freedom in others. In essence, although part of WTF wants Dieudonné, who set out to provoke and insult Jews and all those others who suffered as a result of that “sweet kid” and “joyful braggart”, to rot in jail and to rot in hell, she is angry and upset and confused because she just cannot bring herself to believe that locking him up for any length of time is the answer. 

We are now changing tack. We are off to the Evening Standard Theatre Awards in London to see talentless “actress” Kelly Brook, wearing a pair of velvet curtains of unknown provenance.

kelly

And not just curtains. Red velvet genitalia curtains. Kelly, who redefines the phrase “waste of space”, claims that she flashed her panties by accident. When your main asset is your chest and you go to a premiere with it covered up but wearing genitalia curtains, you clearly intend to give the press something else to look at. And if you don’t, wear a different outfit instead.

London also hosted the British Fashion Awards, where there was much nonsense on display, for example singer FKA Twigs wearing Calvin Klein.

twigs

WTF does not even know what this is supposed to be. It is a sort of titsy tabard worn over trousers that were clearly designed for Ceelo Green on one of his fatter days. Baffling.

Here they are, two of Britain’s finest tax exiles, Formula 1 World Champion and fashion victim Lewis Hamilton and Topshop magnate Sir Philip Green.

lewis and phil

Bloody hell…WTF has long railed against the current horror that is men’s trousers but here are two zillionaires and there is not one decently dressed leg between them.  Lewis’ trousers are just sad but the real shocker is Sir Philip, who resembles a cross between your pissed old uncle at a family wedding and the doorman at the hotel where the function is being held. He should also return those shoes to his grandchildren – stat.

Finally at this event, there was The Saturdays singer Mollie King, wearing not enough.,

Mollie

The waxing technician has done her work but why do we need to view her waxed vulva? Answer – we don’t. We really don’t. Especially not in tandem with a giant tit window….

The same week saw the American Music Awards, always a rich source of ridiculousness. We start with singer This is Fancy (né Jake Hapgood) seen here with Meghan Trainor, who features on his new single. Meghan looks great. He doesn’t.

who is fancy

How do you address him? This is Fancy? This? Is? Fancy? TIF? Whatever, his outfit suggests that he dashed onto the Red Carpet straight from the hairdresser and forgot to remove his cape….

Then there was singer Ellie Goulding wearing Alexandre Vauthier. 

ellie

Regular Readers will know that Alexandre is the Monarch of the Minge Moment and this is a typical example of his oeuvre. It is no more than an ammunition belt with a ripped leather minge fringe. Meanwhile, Ellie must have been sitting next to Fancy at the hairdressers when they got the call that the show was starting and had no time to get her hair blow-dried… 

Next we have Jennifer Lopez wearing Charbel Zoe.

jlo

Sigh. Love, give it a rest… if Tutankhamun went to a fancy dressed party dressed as a woman, this is what he would have worn. And why has she got a turd on her head?

Talking of cross-dressing, here is One Direction‘s Harry Styles wearing Gucci.

harry

Is Harry going the same way as Caitlin Jenner? The hair. The bell-bottoms. The fabric. There is only One Direction this suit should be going, and that is into the bin.

Here is Z Lala dressed a blue octopus.

z lala

Z purports to be a singer but only surfaces on big occasions such as these when she wears something ludicrous in order to get her picture taken. Insofar as the outfit is tit and minge free, it is to be welcomed. But it is very, very silly.

Then there was the gorgeous singer Ciara, wearing Reem Acra.

ciara

Yawn. WTF would have ignored this but cannot overlook the hanging hairy thing between her legs like a groin goatee. It is deeply disturbing and WTF is quite disturbed enough as it is.

And finally there was singer Gwen Stefani wearing Yousef Al-Jasmi.

gwen

Gwen is doing that thing known to Daily Mail Readers as “showing her cheating ex husband what he is missing”. Except that he probably isn’t missing it.

 

Itsgottogo-x1200px

This week’s It‘s Got to Go comes from WTF’s experiences this week travelling on the London Tube in rush hour.  To be frank, it is foul. Not just the regular smack in the face from people’s backpacks (thank the Lord, it was not a scrote tote). Not the tinnitus tunes from other people’s headphones. Not the hiding in a small corner nurturing your own air pocket. What really drove her insane this week was the self-appointed Tube Taliban who take it upon themselves to bark orders and insults at you. You are standing in the wrong place. There is a queue actually. Eventually WTF lost it and informed one such to fuck right off and look snappy about it. It is not the way to start the day. Not even at all….

Itsgottogo-x1200pxbottom

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. The comments  last week were of top quality so keep them coming and do not stint on your splendid suggestions for It’s Got To Go. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

 

 

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14 Responses to WTF Super-Mega-Colossal Fashion Disaster Special

  1. Do these people sit down at these events? I’d love to see some of their outfits when they do!

  2. fashionshark says:

    it does not bear thinking about.

  3. J-Lo’s dress appear to have taken its inspiration from Shibari (Japanese rope bondage). Add that to the number of latex outfits seen over the last year or two and I reckon there’ll be at least one awards night in the next 12 months featuring full-on gimp masks. Although a ball-gag or three might go some way to reducing the facile utterances 🙂

  4. Lottie says:

    One of my colleagues says that Harry Styles is really good looking with longer hair so I do check out photos of him but I just can’t see it. That suit appears to be the male version of Scarlett visiting Rhett in jail to try to get her hands on the Confederate gold, only using less stylish curtains. At least she had an excuse.

  5. DuncanB says:

    If Harry S sat down in the right floral decorated sofa you still wouldn’t see him.
    It’s a Merchant-Ivory camouflage suit.

  6. fkarno says:

    It is just as well that Philip Green is a big cheese in the rag trade – God only knows what he might otherwise have worn.

  7. Andrew Purcell says:

    There may be a rational reason for the amount of Mollie King that was exposed by her outfit.
    *This was at a fashion awards show.
    *A wax job is a fashion accessory.
    *Her wax technician was nominated for/had won an award.
    I wonder what the qualifications for a judge in that category are.

    Hitler humor? Fuehrer forgiveness? Yikes! In the U.S. that’s the sort of thing that remains hidden in the fringes of the internet among the Ku Klux Klan and their ideological offspring.
    I remember a TV report on this from forty-plus years ago, when a then twenty-something year old girl brushed aside the notion that Hitler had killed any Jews with the comment, “How come there are so many of them left?”.

    • fkarno says:

      All we know about the twenty-year old girl is that she had little knowledge of modern history. That does not make her a holocaust denier.

      • Andrew Purcell says:

        Granted, the girl wasn’t too bright. She also thought that black men shouldn’t have sex with white women because horses don’t have sex with cows. It was a very interesting interview.
        But she did state very clearly that the Holocaust did not happen and that the Nazis didn’t kill any Jews. By any definition I can think of that would qualify as a Holocaiust denial.

      • fkarno says:

        I commented on what you wrote – ” … a then twenty-something year old girl brushed aside the notion that Hitler had killed any Jews with the comment, “How come there are so many of them left?”.
        You should not quote selectively, but if you do and you get caught at it, don’t try to move the goal posts.

  8. Andrew Purcell says:

    You have a problem comprehending the subtleties of the English language?
    Okay. I’ll play ball (pun intended).
    I did not move any goal posts.
    I did not mention any goal posts.
    I did not cite any activity that uses goal posts.
    I did not use any metaphor involving goal posts.
    I did not use any metaphor involving any activity that uses goal posts.
    You inserted goal posts into an argument that has nothing to do with goal posts.
    Therefore your observation is a non-sequitur.

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