WTF Alicia Florrick Special

Hallo Readers,

We have been hearing a good deal from Cameron recently about Magna Carta, signed (not that he could actually write) by King John on the banks of the Thames in 1215. According to Dave and his absurd little minion Jacob Rees-Mogg MP, an upper-class twit PG Wodehouse would have abandoned as a character for being too improbable, we do not need the Human Rights Act (enacting the European Convention on Human Rights) and Judges in Strasbourg telling us our rights because those rights are already enshrined in our laws. Except, er, that they are not.  Magna Carta was drawn up for the benefit of the Barons, not the hoi polloi. There is a lot about fish weirs and what happens to a rich widow when her late husband owed money to Jews but of the right to express a political opinion, to practice your faith and not to be discriminated against on the grounds that you are gay, there is nothing. During the election, Dave promised withdrawal from the ECHR and the abolition of the HRA but this week the new Lord Chancellor, oleaginous, fish-faced Michael Gove, downgraded that promise to a maybe and said that it was not the Convention itself Tories disliked, just the way the Strasbourg judges were interpreting it. WTF was previously unaware that being unhappy with a judicial outcome was good reason for changing the law but there you are. Meanwhile, we continue to wait with bated breath for someone, anyone, to tell us which bits of the HRA should be abolished. But don’t bate your breath too long because you will go a funny colour and expire.

The ghastly Gove is only the second non-lawyer to hold the post of Lord Chancellor since Lord Shaftesbury in 1672. Time was when the Lord Chancellor had an understanding of what the law was about but now it is just another Cabinet post, a stop on the way to something or to somewhere more interesting. Both Gove and his predecessor Chris Grayling were journalists in a former life.  They do not give a toss about justice. Their only interest is in the cost of justice. Indeed, although Gove this week appeared to support the Lord Chief Justice’s call for £700 million to be spent on improving the administration of the courts, he told us that it would first have to go through Bob Ayling, the man who used to run British Airways, to put together a business case and thence to the Treasury for approval. A business case!  For justice! And there will of course have to be “efficiencies”.  Even less legal aid. Fewer Judges. You know the drill.  Justice will be treated the same way as costing plumper seating for business class – just another business. Gove even suggested that matters would be improved by A list legal firms doing a lot more pro bono work. WTF suspects that he has been watching too much of The Good Wife and whilst the lovely Alicia Florrick would clearly improve anything anywhere, what would improve the legal system is giving people who cannot afford it access to justice, not denying it to them by cutting legal aid. Ironically, as many have pointed out, Magna Carta provided that the State would not “sell, deny or delay right or justice to anyone”. Presumably Dave, Mike, Chris and Jacob must have missed that bit.

Talking of human rights and lawyers, here is Amal Clooney out for the night in London with Stella McCartney, the designer of her £1,500 onesie.

amal and stella

OK, let us meet things head on. Yes Amal is a top lawyer but she has clearly embraced the celebrity lifestyle. Do you suppose that she used to pop out for supper with Stella before she married George?  Sadly, embracing the celebrity lifestyle also means that she has embraced the noxious notion of shedding half her body weight and she is far too thin. Sartorially, Amal made rather more effort than Stella who looks as if she is popping out for a pint of milk. WTF is not a fan of Stella, dislikes onesies, really dislikes lace onesies and deplores the short legs on this one, like Robinson Crusoe out on the razz.

amal

Still in London, we happen upon WTF Regular Rita Ora walking the streets of London  and letting it all hang out. Again.

rita

The good news is that those are real tits. The bad news is that we can see far too much of them. In other news, the skirt is ugly and keeps winking at onlookers in a most unnerving way whilst the black hooves come straight from the saddling enclosure at Ascot.

Next we have model Shaun Ross at the Tinder launch party wearing Finnish designer Henrik Vibskov.

sean

WTF has two questions. What on earth is Shaun wearing? And why is he wearing it? It  appears to be the lovechild of a set of jim-jims and a medieval prisoner’s uniform worn at Ye Olde Wormwoode Scrubbes round about the time that Lord Shaftsbury was parading in his periwig.  Shaun has paired his ridiculous ensemble with white Birkenstocks. White Birkenstocks!

Next to singer Katy Perry wearing Moschino.

kp

Couture my backside. She is just a perambulating, mirror-image, matchy-matchy sandwich-board and that shoe-handbag (yours for only £450) is perfectly preposterous as well as constituting a dangerous, not to say offensive, weapon.

To Germany and singer Lily Allen attending a MAC makeup event wearing Chanel. 

lily

Lily is dressed as a cake. Who knows why?

 

We now go to Canada and the Video MuchMusic Awards in Toronto where nonsense abounded. Here is the new thing in modelling, Gigi Hadid,  wearing Mikhael Kale.

gigi

And this is the back view.

gigi2

Models are not always the brightest lamps in the chandelier but honestly, does Gigi really need her name on the back of her jacket? Is this the only way she can remember it? It is not as if there are going to be a large number of cream cropped leather biker jackets hanging around the Red Carpet in Toronto are there? And the way it is hanging around her shoulders is reminiscent of the late Charles Laughton in The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

charles

As for the rest of the outfit, it is tacky, tacky, tacky.

And finally, at the same event, we have singer Jason Derulo (no 1 in UK for 4 weeks running) wearing …what is he wearing?

jason

He looks like a hospital orderly. What nonsense is this? And he has ridiculous gold hi-top trainers and more diamonds than are to be found in the de Beers strongbox. Nice biceps though…..

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This week’s It’s Got To Go is suggested by WTF aficionados Joshua and Juan who are appalled by men’s summer footwear. First (and WTF is entirely behind them on this one) they hate Crocs, those neon, plastic, holey buckets people put on their feet when the temperature rises. They are also against open-toed sandals and flip-flops worn with work-wear. Again they are right in this. WTF would go further. The problem with men and open footwear is that many gents have very manky feet, nasty unclean toenails and dirty heels crustier than a freshly-baked loaf. If you must expose your tootsies and heels, look after them a bit. It’s Got To Go.  

Itsgottogo-x1200pxbottom

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep those comments coming in, which WTF enjoys like anything, and your excellent suggestions for It’s Got to Go and let us meet again next Friday. Be good x

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4 Responses to WTF Alicia Florrick Special

  1. If you are taking nominations for the 2015 Christmas Turkey, I think Shaun Ross is is a no-brainer (and you can read that as a pun or not, it works both ways).
    The Magna Carta is mentioned in US history classes, but briefly. The usual (short) discussion spends more time on John being a bad king than the content of the document. One teacher even brought up Robin Hood. As a life-long iconoclast I thought it my duty to respond with Errol Flynn, Claude Rains, and Basil Rathbone. Hey, it’s one of my favorite movies.

  2. fashionshark says:

    And mine. LOVE that movie.

    • Andrew says:

      Absolutely true Errol Flynn story.
      1975. I was in New York City for a doctor’s appointment. Then met my dad for lunch in Central Park. Beautiful spring/summer day.
      Approached by an ancient wino. Must have been in his forties. (Hey, I was 17, being old looked different back then.)
      The wino asked, “Can you spare a few bucks for an illegitimate son of Errol Flynn?”
      He was about the right age, but then anyone born between 1920 and 1960 would have been about the right age. If I had any cash in my pocket beyond my train fare home I’d have given it to him.

  3. Sarah Denby says:

    These men are dreadful!!! Yeeccchhhh! And I do love Amal, but I agree she needs a few platefuls of spaghetti and meatballs. And the woman dressed as a cake: you nailed that description spot-on!

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