This year there has been roly-poly Lib Dem alleged sex pest Lord Rennard with Party Leader Nick Clegg dragged kicking and screaming into holding an enquiry into his activities. There was Maria Miller who resigned last week as Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport for iffyaciousness various. And the scandals have kept on coming. First there was the trial of Deputy Speaker Nigel Evans for sexual assault and rape. He was acquitted but the evidence revealed drunken MPs fingering other people’s bits, male and female, without so much as a by-your-leave. (Oh, Evans is now calling for his legal fees to be reimbursed by the State – this from a man who supported the cutbacks to Legal Aid. Just saying). And the Police have now admitted that the appalling pervert Sir Cyril Smith, formerly a Liberal MP for Rochdale from 1972 – 1992, had got away with molesting children without the Constabulary doing a damn thing about it. Or it seems, the Liberal Party Leadership.
It was clear to anyone with two braincells and eyes in their head that there was something seriously wrong with Smith. Not because he was obese but because he, like Sir Jimmy Savile, was a loudmouth vulgarian oozing fake bonhomie and Northern bluntness in equal measure. Like Savile, Smith was a “celebrity” and a “larger than life character” and they both did what they wanted whilst the Police, whether because they were stupid or starstruck or worse, looked the other way. Despite recent protestations of ignorance by Cleggy and others, rumours of Smith’s behaviour were everywhere at the time and since. The Rochdale Alternative Press published a damning piece in 1979, only to be met with a riposte from the Press Office of then Liberal Leader David Steel that “It’s not a very friendly gesture, publishing that, all he seems to have done is spank a few bare bottoms.” The matter was also taken up by Private Eye. However Steel and later Clegg consistently denied knowing anything about the rumours and gushed mightily on the death of the old bastard in 2010. Now Clegg is calling for Smith to be posthumously stripped of his knighthood. Which will not help Smith’s victims who were denigrated and ignored for decades.
There is an election next year and the public have never been so disenchanted with politics and politicians. Is it any wonder? Whether grabbing expenses to which they are not entitled or sticking their hands where their hands should not be or criminal conduct or failing to act when criminal conduct is alleged against one or more of their number, they continue to give the impression that there is one rule for them and another for the public at large. The lunatics really are in charge of the asylum.
We start our fashion roundup with (to use The Daily Mail’s favourite phrase) the Roar hitmaker Katy Perry posing for the cameras at the Coachella festival in California. Coachella is less about music than about celebs getting a photo opportunity to flash their legs and abs for the paparazzi. Like Katy here.
As @SheenieShaikh wisely observed, Katy has turned into Betty Rubble, to which WTF wishes to add that this is Betty with green hair and a bad case of sunburn. And what’s with the Soviet tractor factory boots?
Next we go to the MTV Movie Awards in LA where we find the Umbrella hitmaker Rihanna wearing Ulyana Sergeenko Couture.
Couture? At what point did going out in a teddy and dressing gown constitute couture, even when teamed with fuck-me shoes? There is no doubt that Rihanna is gorgeous and sexy. It is just that she is not dressed for venturing out of doors.
The Burn hitmaker Ellie Goulding appeared on the same Red Carpet in white Armani looking positively angelic but then donned this Alon Livné thing for her performance.
Yurgle. It’s a peekaboo breastplate, which, when you think about it, is neither use nor ornament worn with visible panties under a waist-high slit.
Given that the metal snakes around Ellie’s neck and down around her waist, it is frankly a miracle that she did not decapitate herself or slice herself to bits like coleslaw. This dress was actually paraded on the catwalk so Alon must have intended women to wear it offstage. Note to Alon – you must be joking, son.
To London and the Olivier Awards, the theatrical equivalent of the BAFTAS. Veteran impresario Michael White was given a Lifetime Achievement Award and for reasons that WTF cannot fathom, try as she might, it was presented to him by Kate Moss wearing Kate Moss for Topshop.
Kate has as much to do with theatre as Hitler had with basket weaving but she clearly used the occasion to showcase her new collection. But who would want to wear this psychedelic flowerfest? And why would they want to wear it? You could fit Kate, her husband Jamie and her daughter Lila Grace into one leg of those preposterous trousers. Rank. And WTF is being kind.
This week’s It’s Got to Go comes as a result of WTF having her ear bent on her recent trip to Hong Kong by aficionado Joyce Wong who has taken the deepest exception to The Kardashians. She points out that they are talentless, ubiquitous, pointless and wear hideous clothes and she wants them banned from the post forever. And, like the many-headed Hydra, there are loads more of them, not just Kim, Kourtney and Khloe but brother Rob (why is he not called Keith or Karl?) and half-sisters Kendall and Kylie but also their “Momager” Kris Jenner and her estranged second husband Bruce who may or may not be contemplating having a sex change and changing his/her name to Brigitte. Joyce, I feel your pain. I really do.
The Hong Kong Film Festival brought us some beautifully dressed thespians. But those who follow were not amongst them. We start with actor Xiaoming Huang, seen here with Fan Bingbing. Fan is wearing Ellie Saab, which is passable if dull but we are not interested in her but in him.
The jacket is like the carpet in a cheap hotel and it is made even worse by the pink bow tie. As for the trousers, they appear to have been designed for a taller person and he has also done something very facetious to his hair.
What? The? FUCK? From neck to waist it is quite pretty but then it all goes horribly wrong. Never was the phrase “pussy pelmet” so accurately deployed. There is, literally, a pelmet with stiffened board and flowing drapes. Then there are the see-through lace trousers (WTF hates see-through trousers almost above all things) showing off an encrusted minge (although at least Carina was wearing panties). Oh and don’t forget the diamanté shoes. Ralph and Russo should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves whilst Carina’s stylist deserves a slap, a P45 and another slap.
Until Thursday, WTF thought Carina took the cake but then she saw American actress Maitland Ward in this, THE ultimate Minge Moment, attending the premiere of a film she isn’t even in. Readers are advised to take a deep breath before scrolling down.
To articulate what the gentleman in the poster is saying, AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHH! The cross is a nice Easter touch, not, whilst her groin tattoo makes her look as if afflicted with the Black Death.
OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. There will be no post next week, 25th April, as Easter is a dead week both for politics and for fashion but let us meet again on 2nd May. Meanwhile keep those comments and nominations for It’s Got to Go coming in and be good x