wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers, 

Another day, another political scandal involving Reform, Nigel Farage and money of questionable provenance. Farage has been spending far too much time with the Rancid Kumquat and has picked up some bad habits. In the US, the Rancid Kumquat gets away with all sorts because Congress is cowed, the Justice Department is now his personal law firm, only he doesn’t have to pay, Mainstream Media is run by his mates, and the Supreme Court is in his pocket. Sadly for Farage, the UK is a little bit different. He is already under Parliamentary investigation for failing to declare a gift of £5,000,000 from a British born, Thai-based millionaire, the purpose of which remains unclear; this is because Farage’s explanations for this largesse could best be described as inconsistent. Meanwhile, he is also under investigation for money received from his mate Posh George, a convicted fraudster who has served time in a US prison, as well as money from Posh George’s mum, although that is alleged to have come from Posh George through her. Enquiries are also being made about money given to Reform by its deputy leader, Richard Tice. And on Thursday, just as the Reform Party Conference kicked off in Birmingham, Channel 4 broadcast an undercover sting where a reporter posed as a potential donor based in the UK, but with an American-based father. UK law says that individuals and companies based abroad are not allowed to make contributions to UK political parties. The footage shows an Reform official apparently suggesting a way to the would-be donor to circumvent these rules, namely the father giving £500,000 to the son, who in turn could hand it to Reform. Other footage shows Farage, another Reform official, James Orr, and the putative donors around a lunch table in Clacton feasting on oysters and Black Velvet, which is a mixture of champagne and Guinness. Farage is told of the proposed arrangement and thanks his guests. WTF was more amazed at the news that Farage had actually set foot in Clacton, his visits there being rarer than rocking-horse shit, than by his and/or his party’s continued failure to grasp that financial contribution rules apply to him as well as to everybody else. There was also a separate deal involving Orr and the secret funding of a poll, which is too complicated to go into at this time of the morning. Reform immediately criticised Channel 4 and claimed that it was all a scam organised by some “foreign-funded” (oh, the irony) environmental campaigners. But whatever their motive, the footage remains; and despite Reform having dismissed it all as a hoax, this morning Orr and another have been suspended pending an internal investigation, while Labour is making a formal complaint to the Metropolitan Police.

 Of course, this allows Farage to resume his favourite role, the innocent victim of political persecution. Farage, a public school-educated, former merchant banker, and a man of means, is always complaining that the Establishment is out to get him, and how he has been more unfairly treated than any other politician ever, conveniently forgetting the three MPs, including his own party colleague Ann Widdecombe, who were murdered in the last decade. Not to mention others in history, including Spencer Perceval, the only UK Prime Minister to have been assassinated, and MPs Airey Neave, Sir Anthony Berry and Ian Gow, all blown up by the IRA. But hey, how can that possibly compare to the fact that regulators and the media keep bringing up things which have actually happened and which require an explanation, preferably both plausible and consistent? Nor is Reform the only target of press stings. The Sunday Times Insight team regularly tries to ensnare Tory and Labour politicians into financial shenanigans.

This summer, Farage tried to get out of the investigation into the £5,000,000 by calling a by-election and asking his long-suffering constituents to re-elect him, thereby sticking two fingers up at the Establishment; he then found himself going head-to-head with Count Binface and a motley crew of loonies, publicity seekers, right-wingers so far out of kilter with common sense and decency that even Rupert Lowe would not have them, and WTF’s personal favourite, Nick the Incredible Flying Brick. So what will he do now?  Call ANOTHER by-election? It is all getting rather familiar.

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We start our review of the week’s woeful wear in St Tropez with model and now-actress (she is in the remake of Baywatch,  kill me now) Brooks Nader, wearing…something.

Obviously, she is lithe, leggy and gorgeous, but she seems to have come straight from the beach, having wrapped a small towel around herself,  fastened by a plastic handle from her beach bag. There also appears to be an imminent risk of VNA (Visible Nipple Activity). As she is on her way to a club, it is to be hoped that either it is very dark in there, or that she does  not jump about too much….

Next, we call in at the Venice Film Festival, where we encounter actor Jonathan Bailey on the Red Carpet, wearing Giorgio Armani. Yes, really.

It was all going so well until you get to the ridiculous Charlie Chaplin trousers. WTF suspects there is a bad case of elephant vagina syndrome lurking behind  the fringing on his scarf.

Next we are in London for more Practical Magic 2. The good news is that actor Joey King has stopped wearing see-through nonsense, as she did last week on these pages. The bad news is that she put on this thing instead, by South Korean designer, Ilya Mingmoon.

WTF hates chartreuse with a passion, because it sucks the life out of everyone, even here when it is under black lace with Mickey Mouse Ears as tit covers. And the shape makes Joey look like a decanter. But then it gets very weird at the back…..

Why are hairy gorilla arms growing out of her hips? Yurgle!

We are next at the launch of Apple TV’s new series Mayday, starring Kenneth Branagh, Ryan Reynolds and Maria Bakalova, who also wearing Ilya Mingmoon.

This Ilya Mingmoon is a pest. How come he has suddenly bolted out of nowhere to plague us with his silliness? Maria resembles a saucy cake with one of those slithery covers over it to keep the flies away.

The Hip Hop Awards are usually a veritable treasure trove of tits and tat, but this year proved to be relatively respectable, at which WTF was in great indignation.  She was therefore very happy to come across this gentleman, rapper Bangladesh, né Shondrae Lee Crawford, wearing a most remarkable ensemble.

It is certainly colourful. If a slab of cheddar went to the Hip Hop Awards in orange trainers and a sky blue flowerpot, this is what it would look like.

And finally – and with apologies to Joyce from Vermont, formerly Joyce of Hong Kong – this is celebritee Kim Kardashian wearing whatever the hell this is supposed to be, at a charity dinner for This is Humanity.

Oh dear, she doesn’t learn, does she? Like rag doll who has had a rough night……. As the late, lamented, Dolly Parton used to say, it costs a lot of money to look this cheap.

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF of Islington, who was absolutely horrified to see this new ad for Dolce & Gabbana. It features actor Angelina Jolie and her brother, former actor James Haven. The one she once snogged passionately at the Oscars.

No. Just no. They are both skeletal, as in the final stages of extreme anorexia. D&G should be ashamed of themselves. What sort of impression does this give to young, impressionable people? Just appalling. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Keep sending in your excellent suggestions for It’s Got to Go, and do not stint on the comments either. Let us meet again on Friday 11 September. Be good x