wtffashionshark

 Hallo Readers,

This is WTF’s last blog for three weeks because she is heading out to India. What a week it has been. We may be about to see peace between Israel and Hamas. The Israeli cabinet has just voted to accept what has gallingly become known as 47’s peace deal and agreed to an immediate ceasefire, despite objections from the lunatics and zealots who make up part of their Government, at least at the time of writing. The hostages, both dead and alive, are due to be returned at the beginning of next week and supplies should be able to get into Gaza. How exactly this peace deal is going to work is unclear. How is the Council for Peace going to operate? When, if at all, is Israel going to withdraw, and if so, to where? Forgive WTF for her cynicism, but it may be a little early to crack open the champagne. Is she a bit grudging because of who made the breakthrough? Guilty as charged. But if it works, and let us fervently hope that it will, that is all that matters. At another of his fellatio-fests masquerading as a Cabinet meeting today, and again at a press conference welcoming the President of Finland, 47 touted his triumphs at bringing peace to the world, which he elegantly phrased as ‘we’ve done 8 wars’. Which is his way of saying that he has brokered peace in 8 different conflicts, which he has not. But if he has brokered peace here, he will have achieved something special and he should get the credit for it. Although it may be wise to hold over the Nobel Peace Prize until next year so that we can see whether he actually did this war or not.

 It was Israel’s conduct in Gaza that apparently led a Manchester man to drive his car through the gates of a synagogue on Yom Kippur last week, killing one man and injuring others. He then leapt out and started stabbing those outside the building whilst doing his best to get inside. He was wearing what looked like a bomb vest; after he was shot dead by police, it turned out that this was a fake. Sadly, police bullets pierced the door of the synagogue that the assailant had been trying to break through and one of the congregation died. Several people were seriously injured and are still in hospital.

Just like after 7 October 2023, we Jews, who always knew that an attack like this was coming, were treated to more variants of ‘yes, it’s terrible but...’ Sometimes, we didn’t even get the ‘yes, it’s terrible’. There are people who are not afraid to say out loud that British Jews, people who do not live in Israel, people who do not vote in Israel, people who do not fight in Israel, people who do not all approve and may actively disapprove of what the Israeli government is doing, are deserving of retribution. Because if you are Jewish, you must be complicit in the actions of a government of a country you are not a citizen of and may not actually support. Before WTF got off social media in an effort to save what was left of her sanity, she was told that she was suffering from something called ‘Jewish anger’. And yes, WTF is angry that she and every other Jew in this country is fair game if they go to a synagogue or have a mezzuzah on their doors. She has always been clear that there is a distinction between anti-Semitism and anti-Zionism. But it seems that many of the people finding excuses for what happened in Manchester last week are wholly unable – or unwilling – to make that distinction.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

To cheerier matters. We start our review of the week’s woeful wear at the Zurich Film Festival with actor Alexander Skarsgård wearing Magliano.

It might be the angle, but the combination of the pose and the bagginess of the trousers makes Alexander looks awfully stumpy and his feet seem to be  disproportionately big. As for the shirt, covered as it is with dildoes and butt plugs, there might be a good reason why he wants to look like a permabulating sex shop, but sadly WTF has no idea what that reason is.

We are in New York now for the Opening Night of the New York City Ballet, attended by the great and good, including actor Sarah Jessica Parker wearing Iris van Herpen.

Why is Sarah pretending to the Angel of the North?

Next, we are in London for the premiere of some rubbish called Tron Ares, starring, amongst others, actor Greta Lee wearing Dior.

Greta resembles the Barbie Sugar Plum Fairy covered in, er, a slimy substance. Just. Very. Unpleasant.

Once again gracing these pages is actor Jared Leto, who is also in the movie. Frank Sinatra and his daughter Nancy used to croon a stomach-churning ballad called ‘Something Stupid’.  They must have had Jared in mind.

If Jesus Christ went to a fancy dress party as a pastel colour chart, this is what He would look like.

Now we are in Paris for a medley of merde, starting with singer Demi Lovato who was launching her new line Demi x Nylon……. 

Demi has denied having been on the Ozempic, despite, as WTF’s late mother would say, going half; she maintains that she has just been following a balanced diet. If you say so, sweetie. But whatever the cause, she has clearly been denying herself sufficient nutrients for the brain, because no one with an ounce of sanity would go out in public wearing a corset and suspenders OVER trousers. And, since we are on the subject, what is supposed to be suspended from the suspenders? Or are they there just to flap about? 

Next, here is singer Lisa from Blackpink at the Louis Vuitton show.

She is very cute, as is the outfit, but WTF is highly perturbed by the red threads on the crotch. Just saying….

Of course, Heidi Klum was there. She is the Zelig of the fashion and entertainment world. Here she is at the Vetements show.

First, that is not even clothes. And second, she looks like a near-naked Goldie Hawn with a tooth brace hiding behond a net curtain.

Finally, we are at the Business of Fashion Gala, part of Paris Fashion Week, where we find presenter Jameela Jamil wearing Harris Reed.

Are those tits? Or are they a couple of ripe Pomelos?

This week’s It’s Got to Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF from Islington who simply could not believe her own eyes when she saw what Jean Paul Gaultier sent out on the runway at Paris last week. Are you ready? You really won’t be. Have the number of a health professional on standby.

All together now….

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Look, if  you want to get your cock out, get your cock out. But get your own cock out, instead of a faux-cock on a bodysuit with fake chest hair, like Jacob pretending to be Esau. Even better, don’t bother and just wear actual clothes. It’s Got To Go.

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go, as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow her on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. WTF is on holiday for the next three weeks and will be back on 14 November. Be good x.