wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Today, Friday, 15 August 2025, Presidents 47 and Putin will sit down at an airbase in Anchorage, Alaska to discuss how to stop, or in any event, to pause, the war in Ukraine. The most obvious way of achieving this would be for Russia to withdraw from Ukrainian territory and to stop bombing its towns and cities. Whilst they are about it, they could also return the thousands of children who have been kidnapped to Russia and given new parents. But of course, Putin has no intention of doing any of that. Last week, Steve Witkoff, the New York property developer with as much grasp of diplomacy as WTF has of brain surgery, but whom 47 has appointed as his chief international envoy, met Putin in Moscow and reported back that Russia was willing to hold peace talks which might involve both Russia and Ukraine swapping territory. Witkoff does not speak Russian and was reliant solely upon Putin’s translator. Russia now says that it never agreed to give up anything although it might consider a ceasefire on the condition that it is allowed to maintain the territory it has already seized. Which is not the same thing as  give and take – it is just take, and by force. nevertheless, 47 continues to insist that peace will depend upon both Russia and Ukraine agreeing to  ‘I don’t want to use the word divvy up but it’s not a bad term, you know?’. Actually, it is a really, really bad term if you happen to be Ukrainian.

In any event, the Ukrainian president has not been invited to these talks. When Zelenskyy said that he would not be ceding any territory to Russia, and even if he wanted to do so, which he does not, he is not empowered to do so without the approval of parliament, 47 threw a massive tantrum. He complained that Zelenskyy had not asked for permission from parliament before killing millions of people. It has not dawned on 47 that Ukraine was invaded by Russia and that Zelenskyy is directing the defence of his country against an aggressor. What could possibly go wrong? For 47, this is just another deal because he sees no distinction between Negotiating the purchase of a piece of real estate from somebody who already owns it and Negotiating the return of a piece of real estate, in this case a large part of a sovereign state, from somebody who took it by force. Furthermore, he is in no position to conduct these negotiations at all.  First, he has no idea what he is talking about and no grasp of the history or the facts. Second, the decision is not his to make but Ukraine’s.

WTF is fairly certain how this one is going to pan out. Putin will play 47 like a Stradivarius, and he will agree to the proposal that Russia retains the land it already occupies in return for a promise of a ceasefire that will not hold. 47 will then trumpet this as yet another example of his legendary deal-making skills and will demand that Zelenskyy accepts the terms. Zelenskyy will not accept them, on the not unreasonable ground that he should not have to give up anything to a murderous tyrant who started a war and caused the death of hundreds of thousands of Ukrainian citizens. 47, fearing for the future of his coveted Nobel peace prize, will heap abuse upon Zelenskyy, will again blame him for starting the war in the first place, and will then threaten to withdraw all future financial and military support. The idea that the future stability of Europe is in the hands of this narcissistic, sociopathic, ignoramus, surrounded as he is by fools and toadies, is terrifying – and yet here we are. WTF has never hoped so fervently that she is wrong. 

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We start our review of the week’s ridiculous raiment with actor/bitsflasher Julia Fox walking around wearing DSquared.

On the plus side, she is wearing more than she usually does because she usually does not wear very much at all. On the minus side, her panties are showing and her jeans have are tied around the lower calves. The Scots have a name for this, namely ‘nicky tams’, which is the practice of tying string below the knees to keep the legs clear of the soil and dust or to relieve the weight of mud at the ankles. Although in Julia’s case, as there are holes in the jeans, stuff might just fly in through there instead.

Still flogging her new series of Wednesday is actor Jenna Ortega, seen here wearing Simone Rocha.

Why anyone would want to wear a ghoulie on her tit is a matter which baffles WTF and then baffles her some more. As does wearing a chastity-belt lock and key around her waist, which rather counteracts the purpose of having a chastity belt – it is supposed to keep men out, not invite them to slip in. As for the skirt, Eliza Doolittle lives…“All I want is a room somewhere”

We are now at the Variety Power of Young Hollywood Event where we find South African singer/songwriter Tyla wearing Palomo Spain.

Er….what?? Palomo Spain is known for gender-fluid designs but this is just bizarre. The headpiece is very pretty but the alleged skirt is just a giant nappy with a bow, while the top is not only perilously positioned, putting onlookers on incoming nipple alert, but it also appears to have been inspired by a lady barrister’s collarette.

 Also there was influencer Bella Poarch, who has managed to keep herself out of this blog since 2021. Brace yourselves…..

If a toilet-roll-holder doll got tattooed and wore saucy boots on her wedding day, this is what she would look like.

To New York City and the premiere of the new Spike Lee movie Highest 2 Lowest. Rapper Ice Spice is making her debut in it. Here she is wearing Fancì Club.

At first,  WTF assumed that someone had attacked Ice Spice and cut off her jeans, leaving only the section below the knees. But it then dawned on her that she was wearing sort-of-boots, which are hideous beyond description and resemble those ghastly elephant foot umbrella stands.

And finally, here is splendid actor Bob Odenkirk wearing a very ridiculous suit.

Does this suit actually have a fly? That is a very bad example of elephant vagina syndrome. Moreover, for reasons best known to himself, Bob is dressed as a satin, two-flavoured chocolate egg.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Grace from Essex, who has responded last week’s new summer feature ‘That’s Not Even A Thing’ which featured the ridiculous strawberries and cream sandwich introduced for the summer by Marks & Spencer. Grace has upped the ante by nominating the Tesco Birthday Cake sandwich……Yes, really. Grace is particularly bothered that this is part of the Tesco meal deal i.e. it is the main part of your lunch.

What the actual fuck is going on here? How is this even remotely like a birthday cake? It is a glorified jam sandwich with ‘cream cheese icing’ and coloured sprinkles. The latter make it look as if it has gone mouldy. Here are the full ingredients. Wheat Flour [Wheat Flour, Calcium, Folic Acid, Iron, Niacin, Thiamin], Full Fat Soft Cheese (Milk), Water, Seedless Strawberry Jam (10%) [Sugar, Strawberry Purée, Gelling Agent (Amidated Pectin), Acidity Regulators (Citric Acid, Trisodium Citrate), Colours (Anthocyanins, Lutein), Black Carrot Juice Concentrate], Icing Sugar, Sugar, Palm Oil, Rapeseed Oil, Shea Fat, Cornflour, Yeast, Salt, Emulsifiers (Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids, Mono- and Diacetyl Tartaric Acid Esters of Mono- and Diglycerides of Fatty Acids, Polysorbate 60), Sunflower Oil, Spirit Vinegar, Rice Flour, Potato Starch, Wheat Gluten, Humectant (Sorbitol), Dried Skimmed Milk, Flavouring, Spirulina Extract, Full Fat Soft Cheese Powder (Milk), Fruit, Plant and Vegetable Concentrates (Safflower, Radish, Blackcurrant, Apple, Lemon), Turmeric, Acidity Regulator (Citric Acid), Flour Treatment Agent (Ascorbic Acid), Preservative (Potassium Sorbate). Yurgle. Birthday cake sandwiches are Not Even A Thing. It’s Got to Go. 

OK Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go/That’s Not Even A Thing as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow her on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x