wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

Last week, Scotland had the dubious pleasure of hosting President 47, who flew over at US taxpayers’ expense on Air Force 1 to play golf  at – and publicise – his Scottish golf clubs, and to open a new golf club named after his late mother, Mary. You can bet your bottom dollar that the Secret Service officers looking after him were charged premium dollar to stay at Turnberry, and that the money went into the coffers of the Family company, along with all the bitcoin and other shakedowns that the man operates in plain sight. He even fleeced Scottish taxpayers, who had to stump up about £10m for police to block the roads. Meanwhile, 47 justified the trip by meeting with Keir Starmer, who flew up to mark his fealty. He also met Ursula von der Leyen after concluding a ‘yuge’ trade deal with the EU with an agreement to pay tariffs. Which 47 still thinks are paid directly by the EU to the US Government and not by the consumers who buy the imports. Because he is an idiot. 

When 47 and Starmer met the press, the former babbled on ignorantly for over an hour. He took the credit for stopping six wars in six months. He asserted that wind farms cause cancer. He denied that he was in the Epstein Files, but if he was, it was because ‘the greatest scum on earth’ (Biden, Comey, etc.) had put him  in there. It was all a hoax, although which bit remains unclear. On the plane home, he later explained that he had not spoken to Epstein since 2001, when Epstein ‘stole’ some of his staff at Mar A Lago, including the tragic Virginia Giuffre, who killed herself last year. 47’s explanation failed to explain (i) why a 16 year old was working in his spa at all (ii) why in 2003 he had described Epstein as a lot of fun who liked his women on the younger side and (iii) why it was worse to poach staff than to rape and traffic teenaged girls. 47 then asserted that the US had supplied millions in food aid to the Palestinians, for which no-one had thanked him, and admitted that the photos of starving children in Gaza were real ‘because you can’t fake that stuff’. This was something of a turnaround: not least because no one has been a stronger supporter of this disgusting Israeli Government than 47, and Netanyahu had only that day denied that anyone was starving in Gaza, which is a barefaced lie. Starmer chipped in to say that the situation was very grave but he could barely get a word in. They then went off to talk privately about the gravity of the situation. The following day Starmer announced that he was going to recognise Palestine ‘in September unless the Israeli government takes substantive steps to end the appalling situation in Gaza, agree to a ceasefire and commit to a long-term, sustainable peace, reviving the prospect of a Two State Solution. And this includes allowing the UN to restart the supply of aid, and making clear there will be no annexations in the West Bank.  Meanwhile, our message to the terrorists of Hamas is unchanged and unequivocal. They must immediately release all the hostages, sign up to a ceasefire, disarm and accept that they will play no part in the government of Gaza’. 47 was furious and denounced this step. Whether he had been told about it is unclear.

Look. WTF is clear that the Israeli Government should stop bombing the hell out of Gaza, killing children and shooting people in the very food queues which they have set up. They should agree – and hold – to a ceasefire and they should commit to a long-term, sustainable peace. And equally Hamas should release the hostages dead and alive and should also agree to a ceasefire. But then what? What is it that we are recognising and whom are we recognising as the Government of a Palestinian State? Who are the leaders of it? If Hamas steps down, who takes over?  And if – a big fat if, admittedly – Israel does comply, what happens then? Does the Palestinian State remain unrecognised? Posing for the cameras and flying around in aeroplanes is all well and good, but not if it produces fudges like this. As for 47, he has moved on to somewhere and something else. He cares far more about building a new golden ballroom for $200m at the White House (someone else’s $200m) than he does about starving children. £200m could buy a lot of food if he could persuade his pal Netanyahu to let it in. But will he? And even if he asked, would Netanyahu agree?

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We start our review of the week’s frightful fashion at radio station SiriusXM in New York where we find singer Miley Cyrus wearing her nightie.

WTF can only surmise that Miley has come from a rehearsal of Peter Pan, where she is playing Wendy Darling. Either that or she is suffering from a very bad case of sonambulism.

 

And on another day, Sirius XM played host to actor Alison Brie, who was wearing some perfectly ridiculous jeans.

The tongue of the bodice is lapping her ladyparts in a manner WTF finds frankly disturbing, while the jeans are among the silliest things that she has seen in quite a while. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE JEANS????? They appear to have been blown up with helium. How does she get through doorways? Yurgle.

 

Here is our old friend, actor Colman Domingo, looking perfectly preoposterous in Valentino.

Oh for Heaven’s sake. He looks like an overgrown Boy Scout who has pinched mummy’s handbag and earrings. Dib, dib, dib. And those white socks are the absolute pits.

 

This is the weirdly-named actor Dior Goodjohn, wearing something extremely silly at Comic Con International in San Diego.

If a Japanese fundoshi had sex with a straitjacket, this is what their offspring would look like……

 

Also at Comic Con was actor Jodie Turner-Smith, wearing Alaïa.

The jacket is very good, like something you would see on Elizabeth 1. But then, after a double helping of midriff, you get the the ruff around her hips, rather than around the neck, as was the usual manner of wearing it, and an abundance of fabric resembling a circus tent. Worn with white silk bridal stilettos. 

 

Meet actor Samuel Blenkin, who used to be Malfoy in the endless Harry Potter films. Here he is at the London premiere of something called ALIEN:EARTH.

That is a shocking suit. It does not fit anywhere, it looks cheap and it is both crumpled and puckered. Perhaps it was his great-grandfather’s World War 2 demob suit.  Or perhaps he is angling to be chosen for one of those great Evian ads. 

Whatever that suit is, it is abysmal. As is the absence of footwear, not even of any kind. And the carnation, like a poor man’s Oscar Wilde.

 

And finally, another actor, Isaac Ordonez, at the global premiere of the second series of Netflix’s Wednesday in London, wearing Landeros. Mind how you go here…..

Beetlejuice pops up in Jodie Turner-Smith’s circus tent – and on stilts. Which is the only way that those trousers are ever going to make sense. Not that they do.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado WTF of Islington, who is introducing a summer sub-section of It’s Got to Go entitled “That’s Not Even A Thing”. WTF is kicking off with something she saw on a menu the other day which made her shudder and then shudder some more. Here it is. Tandoori Chicken Pizza.

There is fusion. And there is fuck right off, that is foolish. And this has left ‘fuck right off, that is foolish’ so far behind you cannot even see it in the rear view mirror.  Chicken, whether tandoori or othewrwise, has absolutely no place on a pizza. That’s Not Even A Thing. It’s Got to Go.

Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week. Please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go/That’s Not Even A Thing as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow her on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x