wtffashionshark

Hallo Readers,

When you are the Leader of a political party that has only five MPs, you would think that you would take care to ensure that you do not lose one.  After all, the Parliamentary Party is so small that it is less of a party and more an evening in, albeit one that has attracted the attention of chainsaw-wielding lunatic Elon Musk, who was at one time minded to pour a few million pounds into its coffers. However Nigel Farage is not interested in keeping the gang together when the gang members do not show him sufficient obeisance. Cracks started to show early on when Musk suggested that Rupert Lowe, a wealthy businessman and MP for Great Yarmouth, would make a better leader of the Reform Party than Farage himself. Musk believes that Tommy Robinson is the British Nelson Mandela and a political prisoner, rather than a vile, racist thug serving time for contempt of court.  Lowe shares Musk’s view, but Farage does not. Lowe is also in favour of mass deportations, which Farage is not (on grounds of practicality, apparently).  Lowe is now under investigation by the Party and has had the whip removed whilst a female KC considers whether there is a case against him.  Remarkably, Reform actually has a Chief Whip, although given there are only five MPs to whip, including the Chief Whip himself, this could perhaps be considered to be at best a part time job. The Chief Whip is none other than gobshite Lee Anderson, aka 30p Lee, who was formerly a Tory MP and before 2019, a Labour Councillor. While WTF would agree that there is a no point in having a mind unless you are prepared to change it, she is deeply dubious whether this applies to 30p Lee, who gives no indication of having any mind at all.

Meanwhile, it has all gone off recently with the four whipped Reform MPs and the one unwhipped MP running around like hamsters on a wheel and accusing each other of this, that and the other. Lowe is accused of workplace bullying, and also of making threats of physical violence against the party’s chairman, Zia Yusuf. He denies this, of course, and says Farage and Yusuf are setting him up. “You’ve got to look at the pattern of relationships with Nigel throughout his career … Almost anybody who is in his view either threatening him or is capable enough to take over from him, he tends to fall out with them.” Lowe also suggests that Yusuf, a Muslim, is upset with him because he had raised the issue of Pakistani “rape gangs”.  The KC investigating these claims had to deny that she had told Lowe that the evidence against him was not credible. Former Reform bigwig Ben Habib, who was pushed out by Farage, wrote an article in the Daily Telegraph alleging that the complaints against Lowe were “trumped up” while 30p Lee has been casting aspersions on Lowe’s honesty. Lowe, in turn, is threatening to sue everyone in sight. In short, they are all having a go at each other and M’Learned Friends are rubbing their hands in anticipation of a substantial accumulation of fees and are doing jigs around the Temple and ordering in the Krug.

As far as WTF is concerned, all the antagonists are beyond frightful and she can but quote (again) the wisdom of Dr Johnson who opined that “Sir, there is no settling the point of precedency between a louse and a flea.” Throw in Musk and you have a louse, a flea and a mad dog. But watching them all tear each other apart at least brings a little light relief to these dark days, for which relief much thanks.

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Our review of the week’s sartorial silliness is all from Paris where fashionistas gathered for the primary purpose of looking ridiculous in borrowed not-so-finery. We start at the Louvre Ball, where we find preposterous former Moschino designer Jeremy Scott arm-in-arm with model Gigi Hadid. They are both wearing designs by Jeremy Scott. Scroll down slowly…..

Gigi looks fine. Jeremy looks like an idiot. WTF has never liked a shorts tuxedo (as introduced to an unprepared world by Thom Browne some years ago, he of the very hairy knees), but at least he had a shirt and bow tie on and was not wearing leather topboots. Jeremy, on the other hand, looks like the lovechild of one of the Gumbles and a police motorcycle outrider. The coat, however, is good.

Now we are at the Prada show where we find transgender actor and model Hunter Schafer.

Hunter found herself peremptorily re-issued with a male passport without her knowledge by the Trump administration, which has directed that there is no longer such a thing as transgender. It was therefore not the best time to put on these weird silk panties because something in there is protruding and WTF would prefer not to think about what it may be. Whatever Hunter is wearing, it is not a complete outfit, nothing goes with anything else and the only place that the pieces would look good together is in the bin.

We now encounter actor Emma Corrin wearing Miu Miu. Miu Miu is the Prada second line. Houston, we have a problem.

This is just dog-ugly (sorry, woofers). Every bit of it. If Barbie went to school with a snood around her middle and wearing two belts,  this is what she would look like.

Next up we have model Joan Smalls wearing Anne Demeulemeester.

So here we have everything WTF hates in one outfit – see-through trousers, which WTF deplores almost above all things, and what she first took to be a giant codpiece but which proved out to be the edge of the matching lace shirt. Which begs the question – what is she wearing under the trousers by way of coverage of her nether regions? As for the boots, those laces are a positive health hazard, and she was lucky not to have gone tumbling arse over tit.

This is model Alessandra Ambrosio wearing….. well, you will see. It is Balenciaga, Scroll down slowly. 

Er…. where is the rest of it? 

Now we have silly person Jaden Smith, who has a gig with Louis Vuitton as a brand ambassador.

Fuck me, it’s Joan Collins in a peplum.

Now we are at the YSL show with actor Zoe Kravitz. Warning – NIPPLES AHOY!!!!!!

This is the expression “all fur coat and no knickers” re-imagined as “all fur coat and no bra”.

And finally, model and actor Paris Jackson (daughter of Michael) wearing Stella McCartney.

She is playing peekaboo behind a sheer curtain and that seam looks like an operation scar last seen on Frankenstein’s monster.

This week’s It’s Got To Go comes from WTF aficionado Yvonne from Jedburgh who brought these shocking jeans to her attention from the Diesel show in Milan. Mind how you go with these……

Bumcrack jeans!!!! They are utterly revolting. Admittedly these bums are much nicer than the saggy, pale arses hanging out of workmen’s trousers but they are still unacceptable. Yvonne is appalled and she is not the only one. It’s Got to Go.

Ok Readers, that’s your lot for this week please keep sending in your top suggestions for It’s Got to Go as well as your comments, which WTF much enjoys. You can follow me on @wtffashionshark.bsky.social. Let us meet again next Friday. Be good x